“Yeah. I know. I guess I just clam up when people ask me about my family. I’ve done it my whole life. It’s hard to rewire,” Savannah told her. “And it’s stupid, really, I mean, why should it matter who Brady is dating?”
Liz could have hugged Savannah Maxwell, if she weren’t so pissed at Brady at the mention of the word dating. She just tried to keep that feeling under wraps. “He’s in the public eye. I think a lot of people feel like they have the right to know his business.”
“Yeah, I think a lot more people want to know than really should know. It’ll all come out eventually. It always does, but it’s not even an interesting story. I mean, Brady was in the North Carolina legislature with her father. They met up at Christmas and started dating. Kind of boring, really.”
Liz froze in place. She didn’t care that the car door was still open and her right side was freezing cold from the snow. And she didn’t care that she was staring at Savannah. She knew that she shouldn’t care that Brady was dating someone, or that Erin was from a political family and she would make Brady look good, or anything about it at all.
She was happy with Hayden. Things were going well with their relationship. Brady shouldn’t have even been a thought.
Liz took a deep breath, trying to recover. “I’m sure journalists will find a way to make it interesting.”
Savannah laughed. “Yeah, that’s kind of our job, right?”
“Yeah, it is,” Liz said.
“I just feel a little bad for him. All the girls that the media claimed he was dating during the election being held over his head, and then starting his new job in Congress all at the same time as he starts a new relationship.”
Relationship. That word felt like a knife wound.
“That must be tough,” Liz said, not able to keep the bite out of her voice.
Yes. It must be soooo difficult to have a new dream job and a new dream girlfriend. Liz couldn’t imagine how he would ever survive.
“Thanks for the ride again, Savannah,” she said quickly. She could see Savannah trying to figure out why Liz was so pissy all of a sudden.
“Sure,” Savannah said softly as Liz hopped out of the car. She hoisted her bag on her shoulder and waved at Savannah before rushing for the door. She could not believe that she had almost lost her cool like that. It was so unprofessional. She didn’t want anyone to know that she and Brady had been together, and then she had gone and snapped at Savannah when she had said he was dating someone else.
Of course, he had every right. He deserved to move on and be blissfully happy. She had left him, after all.
But it didn’t keep her from being angry.
It certainly didn’t keep her from feeling like an idiot for holding on to those feelings, forestalling her relationship with Hayden, and putting up a barricade at the thought of sex. Brady had moved on, so why shouldn’t she? Why did she have to let him make her feel like this before she realized how stupid it was to hold on so fiercely to something that was long gone?
That thought pushing her forward, she quickly changed into warmer clothes and dashed back out to her car. She wanted to get to Hayden’s before the snow closed in around her.
Liz arrived at Hayden’s house fifteen minutes later. Traffic had been puttering along at twenty miles per hour, because Southern drivers were terrified of the snow. Someone had ended up in a ditch. She assumed that all of the grocery stores were out of water, bread, and milk, as if people thought they weren’t ever leaving their houses again. Did these people normally not have shit in their houses? Were they afraid that snow would bring the zombie apocalypse? What the hell was wrong with them?
Suffice it to say, it did nothing for her bad mood.
“Oh my God, people cannot drive!” Liz said as soon as she walked into Hayden’s house.
“Hey, gorgeous!” Hayden rounded the corner with a big smile. “I made dinner.”
Liz sighed in frustration. She shouldn’t have been irritated that Hayden made dinner; it was just another part of his perfection. And when she looked at him, it did loosen some of the tension in her shoulders, but only marginally.
“Rough day?” he asked, seeing her frown.
She let every comeback she had to that die on her tongue. She was tired of thinking and overanalyzing every moment. She just wanted to get lost in emotion and sensation. Maybe some other time she could let her heart feel what her mind was telling her was stupid, but right now she just wanted to tamp it down and beat it into submission.
Without answering, she walked right up and pressed her lips to his. She wound her hands around his neck and reveled in the way their bodies melded together, the grip of his hands on her hips, the feel of his tongue massaging her own. It was too timid, too tentative. She wanted more, and she bit down on his bottom lip, sucking it between her teeth until she felt him urging her forward, asking for more.
“Bedroom,” she growled in between kisses.
Hayden pulled back and looked at her with newfound interest. His eyes roamed her body, hungry yet questioning. She was sure he was wondering where all of this was coming from, but if he was smart he wouldn’t open his mouth.
“Lizzie . . .”
“Now,” she said. When he didn’t move fast enough, she took his hand and directed him to the bedroom. He chuckled but followed behind her.
Hayden closed the door and she quickly started unbuttoning his shirt while she had him backed up against the wall. He let her slide the shirt to the ground and then she immediately reached for his belt buckle.
“Hey,” he said, taking her hand. “Slow down a bit.”
She shook her head and kissed him again, rocking him into the door. He grabbed her and pulled her backward. She practically launched herself at him, but he held her at arm’s length.
“There’s no rush. Kevin went home for the weekend. We have the house to ourselves.” He turned her around and moved her toward the bed, which she promptly crawled on and pulled him toward her.
She didn’t want to stop. She didn’t want him to keep holding them back as she had been holding them back. She didn’t want one more second to go by where she had to think about anything but him.
“Hayden,” she groaned, when he sat down on the bed next to her. “Come here.”
He leaned down and their lips locked all over again. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she tried to pull him down on top of her. She wanted to feel that passion and longing all over again . . . get lost in it. Why wouldn’t he just let loose and give her what she wanted?
His hand trailed down her side and pushed against the material of her sweater. She helped him, eagerly yanking the material over her head. God, she wanted this. But as soon as the shirt dropped to the floor, Hayden sat straight and just stared at her.
“Hayden, please,” she whispered, feeling vulnerable and exposed. He looked at her as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. He looked at her as if he so desperately wanted to continue, but that he knew something was wrong.
“Lizzie,” he said softly then, stroking her wavy blond hair off of her face, “are you all right?”
“Yes, just kiss me,” she demanded, her chest rising and falling heavily.
He placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “Are you sure you’re okay? Are you sure you’re ready?”
Liz bit her lip and closed her eyes. No. She wasn’t sure of anything. Even her sanity was questionable at this point.
Was it so wrong to want to forget? She didn’t understand why it all had to be so difficult. Brady had moved on. Why was she still struggling through this? It didn’t make sense and she wanted it to stop. She just wanted it all to stop.
Tears streamed down her cheeks before she could keep them from coming. Her whole body shook uncontrollably. She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling even more exposed than ever before. Hayden shouldn’t have to see her like this. He shouldn’t have to see her break down over something she could never even tell him about. It wasn’t fair to him. He was a good man. Perfect.