Chapter 13
SLIP THROUGH THEIR FINGERTIPS
Liz awoke the next afternoon with a headache from hell. Her eyes were puffy, her throat was swollen, and she felt as if someone had run her over with a Mack truck. She was equal parts starving and never wanting to eat again.
Why oh why had she ever allowed herself to drink as much as she did?
Rolling over slowly in bed, she peeled her eyes open and tried to let them adjust to the light in the room. Her head spun and she wondered briefly if she was actually still drunk from last night. Moving onto her other side, Liz stared at a little slice of heaven.
A glass of water. A bottle of Gatorade. A thousand milligrams of Tylenol. And a note from Hayden letting her know that he was going to pick them up some lunch. Not that she had any intention of eating anything.
After taking the medicine, she sipped on the Gatorade, trying to drink as much as she could without feeling sick. Last night had been a very bad idea. Fuzzy memories came back to her slowly. But she didn’t remember a lot of what had happened after Massey got there.
Something.
Savannah.
Right. Savannah had shown up. That was so nice of her. She should text her a thank-you.
Liz reached for her phone and stopped just before grabbing it. “Oh no,” she whispered.
Now she remembered.
Brady.
She had texted Brady last night. And he had answered. They had talked back and forth. Had she even called him? Fuck, what had they talked about?
She snatched the phone off the nightstand and pulled up her text messages. Scrolling through them made the sickness she’d had all last night come back full force. Had she actually said those things to Brady? Had she asked him to fly to Chapel Hill to see her? Had he encouraged her?
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. What the hell was she supposed to do?
Liz dropped the phone into her lap on the bed and covered her eyes. She was a fucking idiot. A terrible fucking idiot. She had left Brady eight long months ago. So what was she still doing obsessing over this?
Brady had been drunk and fucking with her last night. No matter what she felt or what she had felt last August . . . that part of her life was over.
And Hayden.
Oh, Hayden . . .
What if he had read the messages? What if he had seen what she had insinuated? What if he had seen how stupid she had been? She didn’t think he had, based on the merry assortment of hangover fixers on the nightstand, but God, what if he had?
Hayden was the nicest person she had ever met. He was a complete gentleman and treated her exactly the way she deserved to be treated. He loved her. And she didn’t deserve him. Not with the way she had acted last night. Not by a long shot. She knew that she had been drunk, beyond drunk, but it wasn’t an excuse. She couldn’t use that to excuse her behavior.
The reality check slapped her in the face.
She couldn’t do this to Hayden. She couldn’t allow herself to become that person. She had never in her life been that person . . . the person she had been last night. It wasn’t an acceptable manner of behavior. She couldn’t live with herself.
Hayden loved her, and maybe she didn’t love him right now, but how did she know that feeling would never flourish if she gave it a real chance? She wasn’t giving Hayden a chance, much like Brady had stifled theirs. It hadn’t been fair to her, and it certainly wasn’t fair to Hayden, who was a much better person than she was.
She never wanted Hayden to have to make the choice that she had made with Brady. She needed to pull back, reevaluate herself.
She owed Hayden a fresh start.
Liz pulled up Brady’s numbers in her phone with trembling hands. She slowly went through each of them and deleted them. She knew his work number by heart, but she doubted that one even worked anymore, so it didn’t matter. She couldn’t have pieces of Brady floating around and reminding her.
She could never take back the words she had shared with Brady last night, but she could learn from what happened. Live and learn from her mistakes.
Graduation came and went without big fanfare.
Hayden’s parents came to town for the week to celebrate and attend the ceremony. Jamie and James flew down a couple days after Hayden’s parents just in time for graduation. Hayden dressed in Carolina-blue graduation robes, and Liz wore a blue dress to match. Hayden had frowned at her bare neck and asked if she was going to wear her birthday present. She had blushed and told him it didn’t go with the outfit. She didn’t want a reminder of Brady at Hayden’s graduation. Easily appeased, Hayden left to find the rest of his class, while Liz entered Kenan Stadium with his family to watch from the bleachers. She had a hard time believing that the time had already come for Hayden to graduate, and that she would be in the same place within a year.
Liz had an amazing time with his family, who were unbelievably welcoming and accepting. She really felt at home with them, and that was encouraging all around.
Jamie and James dropped on everyone that they planned to elope in Hawaii at the beginning of June. They kept insisting that no one else had to attend, but of course everyone told them that they would be there. Liz understood their wanting a small intimate get-together rather than a big affair. That seemed like Jamie.
That left her and Hayden a whole month together where neither of them had school or the paper or anything at all to do besides relax and enjoy each other’s company. Hayden would officially start his job at the Charlotte Times the Monday after Jamie’s wedding, and as much as the two of them tried to hold on to time, it seemed to slip right through their fingertips.
Soon enough their blissful month together came to a close and they were on a plane to Hawaii. Liz had never been before, and was excited to spend some time with Hayden on the beach as much as to see Jamie and James get married.
They arrived in Honolulu late the night before the wedding just in time to see the sunset over the island. The sky lit up into the most gorgeous reds, yellows, pinks, and oranges that Liz had ever seen. She was sure that a sunset never looked more beautiful than in Hawaii, and was so thankful that she was able to experience it.
Hayden grabbed her luggage out of the back of the taxi as soon as it pulled up in front of their resort. It was a gorgeous twenty-story construction on a secluded area off the north coast of Oahu and boasted private beaches, snorkeling excursions to nearby waterfalls, the luxury of a big resort, and the exclusivity and intimacy of a smaller one.
Liz felt a little awkward sharing a room with Hayden, knowing that his parents were going to be in the same hotel. Not that they had connecting rooms or anything. As far as she knew they weren’t even on the same floor. Hayden thought she was being ridiculous. It wasn’t like his parents didn’t know that they were sleeping together. Which of course made sense . . . because they were college students and all. Still it did nothing to alleviate her stress.
The gorgeous view from the tenth floor overlooking the ocean helped make up for it.
As soon as they arrived, though, they had to change and meet everyone in the lobby for an informal rehearsal dinner. The only other people who had flown all this way for the wedding were Meredith, Jamie’s maid of honor, and Nick, who was the best man. After they’d had a great time with friends, good food, and some choice wine, jet lag began to set in, and she and Hayden called it an early night.
Because of the six-hour time difference, Jamie had planned an early-morning wedding on the beach. Liz woke up at the crack of dawn to get ready for the big day. She was practically bouncing up and down on her toes with excitement. She really liked Jamie, and she was so glad to be here for her.