And once - do you remember? - in a fierce winter day you have completely quarreled with your parents and was thinking of abandoning your home. Was aimlessly wandering city streets under roofs of buildings, and giant icicle has fallen just a pair of meters before you, haven’t hurt you by some sort of a miracle … another accident? And for how many times did you happen to avoid similar deadly dangers subsequently? One after another - and all totally casually …
And for how many times did you accidentally have in your possession a thing, necessary for others; a remarkable and useful idea came to a mind all of a sudden; you appeared to be exactly in a proper place and in due time? And how many times your acquaintances and friends appeared to be near you so timely? Accidentally you managed to find new worthy and familiar friends … Haven’t you accidentally forgotten all that?
And what about this sky, funny cloudlet-lambs, this sun caressing your skin, this wind pulling out your hair, these snowflakes slowly falling on your tongue … does all this happen exclusively by accidents as well? Let’s take at least these mentioned snowflakes - did you ever see their beauty? With what probability are molecules of water, freezing, capable to constantly create such freakish and surprising forms? And have you had a chance to behold clouds similar to animals or, say, a heart in form? And did it happen that a recently cloudy sky near you suddenly cleared itself from clouds and sunrays started shining through formed gleam - shortly after your inner mood improved before the event? Or do you still consider these entire thing happening casually and accidentally? Or perhaps you still have no knowledge of something vital and most important about this world you live in?
You happened to have stayed in a gloomy condition of spirit for a long time once, were seriously depressed and, as a consequence, absolutely accidentally became ill. Pains of absolutely illogical nature disturbed you - either your heart stars tearing itself apart, or liver begins to moan, or a head decides to start cracking from the inside. Medics diagnosed general nervous over fatigue of an organism and advised to lie in bed for longer periods - but you surely have known that the true reason of the illness lies elsewhere. You started to look through comedy films from boredom one after another - and in a couple of days has sharply gone on the amendment, and in a week was like the newcomer. An accident?
You casually were angry with people - and fell in pools the very next moment. Casually took offense and filled your heart with hate - and almost instantly went ill. Accidentally helped someone - and wonderfully through very different circumstances life aided you in reply …
Accident, accident, accident … how many there were at all in your life? And what is, according to theorists from a science, your life if not a chain of accidental events and circumstances? But in that case … the entire Universe, and this galaxy, and this very planet, and billions living on it … are sort of an accident as well? Or perhaps you still know too little of the world you still live in?
And here and now you accidentally keep reading this casual text. Or … maybe accidents have never existed at all?
18.08.2011
America speaks
- Hello, hullo, ladies and gentlemen, misters and sisters ! We are glad to … Heck, I’m gonna to to think and speak like I am a foreigner with such speed !
Ghm, I’m sorry, my respected watch-ers, see-ers, stare-ers, and finally just the ones, who did not find anything better than to stupidly roll on a sofa in front of the TV this silent Sunday evening ! “Russia News” telecast is in the ether, and I, its permanent, though not immortal, figure, Vladimir Vladimirovich Pupkin.
Yes, all of us have awaited this unforgettable and inexcusable moment for a long while – and it has come at the long last ! After showing numerous respects, accustoming and toadying of our journalists He finally agreed to give exclusive interview in our, Russian television studio, located in Chicago. The One elected for the sake of freedom and democracy in all civilized North American continent. The One received the Award Of Peace on the public who was shocked and stunned by such impudence. The One, who prefers to conduct a vegetarian way of life without departing from the White House. The One, who has promised so much, and will promise even more. Taliban’s bane and Al-Kaide’s horror. A needle in a haystack, a genius among those who lack talent, wise man among fools. A ray of light in the empire of darkness, damn it !
But, enough of flatter epithets ! Meet Him - Barrack Hussein Obama, the president of the Jointed States of America in person!
The door slams open in a television studio and Barrack Obama enters. His face, even black, is saddened even more, dark streams of unknown origin flow down his once snow-white shirt. His eyes express a mix of alarm, bewilderment and anger.
Obama: Shit! Niggas shit ! Black as we are !
VVP: President Obama, what’s wrong with you ?
Obama(wipes the face with one of his shirt’s sleeves): Chose me? Hate me ! First chose, then not like ! Damn niggas ! Hiroshima, Niggersaki ! Nuke you, bastards ! (waves a fist of the right hand before a television camera).
VVP: Errmm..can I help you in any way ? It’s a custom tradition to bring a glass of water in such cases.
Obama(looking around in a fright) : Water? No water ! Water turns black as oil ! Mississippi, Lousiana! Niggas trick!
VVP: Mr. President, are you even in a correct condition to participate in our interview? And are you totally and inevitably sure you do not need any sort of help ?
Obama(continuing to look around in a search of the nonexistent enemy) : Help? No help ! We help, not us ! All world, we help ! Bring democracy, spread it ! Like gardening, like me’s wife !
VVP: Oh, yeah, the topic of democratization of a free world in the American style is in the today’s agenda.
Obama: (with considerably increased activity, swinging hands, from which the splashes of dark substance continue flowing, having partially soiled the camera of one of the operators) : Yep! Democracy ! Holy shit, we did ! This way, that way, everyone gets ! Refuses – gets bomb ! No nukes, no Hiroshima, we merciful ! Agrees, makes slave. Lotta concubines, lotta’fun !
VVP: Well, it seems to me that now you have very diplomatically and politically correctly mentioned a subject of so-called “color” revolutions, whose rain has recently spilt near the borders of our country…
Obama(continuing to gesticulate actively) : We help, we buy! Lotta money, lotta credits ! Lotta printing job ! Take whole ! Democracy matters, country not matter, money not matter, no ! We good, we help ! Bring holy shit ! (Obama's face blurs in a smile). Wanna shit? (scratches out the piece which has dried up from the once flowing liquid and stretches it forward to the V.V.P.).
VVP: Faugh!
Obama: No want ? OK ! Next time, you take – we will, we make ! Demooocraaazzy! (jumps out of a table and starts to jump actively about the room of the television studio).
VVP: Well, well. So, democracy as an element of the poisoning and decomposing “soft force” …
Obama: Exactly ! We wise, learned well ! Make sex, no love, make war, not peace ! … Shitty piece ! (tears off the next piece of the dried up evil-smelling substance from his face).