"Exactly," said Udo.
"Likes to eat."
"Ah, I thought you'd think that. That's just what I thought when this—when I began to feel unwell. But I've worked it out since, and it's all wrong."
"This is interesting," said Belvane, settling herself more comfortably. "Do go on."
"Well, when―" He coughed and looked round at them coyly. "This is really rather a delicate subject."
"Not at all," murmured Hyacinth.
"Well, it's like this. When an enchanter wants to annoy you he generally turns you into an animal of some kind."
Belvane achieved her first blush since she was seventeen.
"It is a humorous way they have," she said.
"But suppose you really were an animal altogether, it wouldn't annoy you at all. An elephant isn't annoyed at being an elephant; he just tries to be a good elephant, and he'd be miserable if he couldn't do things with his trunk. The annoying thing is to look like an elephant, to have the very complicated—er—inside of an elephant, and yet all the time really to be a man."
They were all intensely interested. Woggs thought that it was going to lead up to a revelation of what sort of animal Prince Udo really was, but in this she was destined to be disappointed. After all there were advantages in Udo's present position. As a man he had never been listened to so attentively.
"Now suppose for a moment I am a lion. I have the—er—delicate apparatus of a lion, but the beautiful thoughts and aspirations of a Prince. Thus there is one—er—side of me which craves for raw beef, but none the less there is a higher side of me" (he brought his paw up towards his heart), "which—well, you know how you'd feel about it yourself."
The Princess shuddered.
"I should," she said, with conviction.
Belvane was interested, but thought it all a little crude.
"You see the point," went on Udo. "A baby left to itself doesn't know what is good for it. Left to itself it would eat anything. Now turn a man suddenly into an animal and he is in exactly the same state as that baby."
"I hadn't thought of it like that," said Hyacinth.
"I've had to think of it! Now let us proceed further with the matter." Udo was thoroughly enjoying himself. He had not had such a time since he had given an address on Beetles to all the leading citizens of Araby at his coming–of–age. "Suppose again that I am a lion. I know from what I have read or seen that raw meat agrees best with the lion's—er—organisation, and however objectionable it might look I should be foolish not to turn to it for sustenance. But if you don't quite know what animal you're supposed to be, see how difficult the problem becomes. It's a question of trying all sorts of horrible things in order to find out what agrees with you." His eyes took on a faraway look, a look in which the most poignant memories seem to be reflected. "I've been experimenting," he said, "for the last three days."
They all gazed sadly and sympathetically at him. Except Belvane. She of course wouldn't.
"What went best?" she asked brightly.
"Oddly enough," said Udo, cheering up a little, "banana fritters. Have you ever kept any animal who lived entirely on banana fritters?"
"Never," smiled the Princess.
"Well, that's the animal I probably am." He sighed and added, "There were one or two animals I wasn't." For a little while he seemed to be revolving bitter memories, and then went on, "I don't suppose any of you here have any idea how very prickly thistles are when they are going down. Er—may I try a watercress sandwich? It doesn't suit the tail, but it seems to go with the ears." He took a large bite and added through the leaves, "I hope I don't bore you, Princess, with my little troubles."
Hyacinth clasped his paw impulsively.
"My dear Prince Udo, I'm only longing to help. We must think of some way of getting this horrible enchantment off you. There are so many wise books in the library, and my father has composed a spell which—oh, I'm sure we shall soon have you all right again."
Udo took another sandwich.
"Very good of you, Princess, to say so. You understand how annoying a little indisposition of this kind is to a man of my temperament." He beckoned to Wiggs. "How do you make these?" he asked in an undertone.
Gracefully undulating, Belvane rose from her seat.
"Well," she said, "I must go and see that the stable―" she broke off in a pretty confusion—"How silly of me, I mean the Royal Apartment is prepared. Have I your Royal Highness's leave to withdraw?"
She had.
"And, Wiggs, dear, you too had better run along and see if you can help. You may leave the watercress sandwiches," she added, as Wiggs hesitated for a moment.
With a grateful look at her Royal Highness Udo helped himself to another one.
Chapter XII
We Decide to Write to Udo's Father
"Now, my dear Princess," said Udo, as soon as they were alone. "Let me know in what way I can help you."
"Oh, Prince Udo," said Hyacinth earnestly, "it is so good of you to have come. I feel that this—this little accident is really my fault for having asked you here."
"Not at all, dear lady. It is the sort of little accident that might have happened to anybody, anywhere. If I can still be of assistance to you, pray inform me. Though my physical powers may not for the moment be quite what they were, I flatter myself that my mental capabilities are in no way diminished." He took another bite of his sandwich and wagged his head wisely at her.
"Let's come over here," said Hyacinth.
She moved across to an old stone seat in the wall, Udo following with the plate, and made room for him by her side. There is, of course, a way of indicating to a gentleman that he may sit next to you on the Chesterfield, and tell you what he has been doing in town lately, and there is also another way of patting the sofa for Fido to jump up and be–a–good–dog–and–lie–down–sir. Hyacinth achieved something very tactful in between, and Udo jumped up gracefully.
"Now we can talk," said Hyacinth. "You noticed that lady, the Countess Belvane, whom I presented to you?"
Udo nodded.
"What did you think of her?"
Udo was old enough to know what to say to that.
"I hardly looked at her," he said. And he added with a deep bow, "Naturally when your Royal Highness—oh, I beg your pardon, are my ears in your way?"
"It's all right," said Hyacinth, rearranging her hair. "Well, it was because of that woman that I sent for you."
"But I can't marry her like this, your Royal Highness."
Hyacinth turned a startled face towards him. Udo perceived that he had blundered. To hide his confusion he took another sandwich and ate it very quickly.
"I want your help against her," said Hyacinth, a little distantly; "she is plotting against me."
"Oh, your Royal Highness, now I see," said Udo, and he wagged his head as much as to say, "You've come to the right man this time."
"I don't trust her," said Hyacinth impressively.
"Well, now, Princess, I'm not surprised. I'll tell you something about that woman."
"Oh, what?"
"Well, when I was announced just now, what happened? You, yourself, Princess, were not unnaturally a little alarmed; those two little girls were surprised and excited; but what of this Countess Belvane? What did she do?"
"What did she do?"
"Nothing," said Udo impressively. "She was neither surprised nor alarmed."
"Why, now I come to think of it, I don't believe she was."
"And yet," said Udo half pathetically, half proudly, "Princes don't generally look like this. Now, why wasn't she surprised?"