He stared at her as she walked by, wishing he could see the sway of her hips under all that likely cruelty-free fabric. His brain might understand that she was a bad idea, but his dick wasn’t as evolved as his brain.
His dick just wanted her.
She walked right up to the big-ass SUV he’d rented, and she stood by the passenger door, obviously waiting.
“How did you know that was my car?” There were at least fifteen cars in the small parking lot.
She patted the hood. “Oh, this is absolutely the vilest, most gas-guzzling, earth-killing car out here. It was a good bet it was yours.”
That ass was begging for a spanking. He could picture her right over his knee, that round ass in the air, muscles clenching because she was so damn nervous. He would wait, hold off because the anticipation of pain was a part of the process. And then he would give it to her. Hard. Fast. Unrelenting. She might cry a little because at first the shock of the sting seemed like real pain, but he knew just how to turn that sting into an ache. He would start fast, but end slow, his palm resting with every sharp slap so the heat would sink into her muscles and make its way to her pussy. Wet. She’d be wet within moments. Her pussy would swell, just praying for some attention, but he would focus on her ass.
God, he wanted to fuck her. He wanted to use his cock on her pussy as much as he wanted to smack her ass and let her know who the boss was. What was wrong with him? He liked sex, craved it at times, especially when he was coming off a bloody op, but it was the sex he craved, not a particular woman.
“Are you okay?” Nell stood staring at him like she was the tiniest bit worried he was going to go crazy.
Of course, she’d likely run if she knew exactly what he was thinking. The question was—would he catch her? He wasn’t sure. He made the safe play and held up his keys. “Found them.”
He opened her door.
“I can open my own door.”
He felt his eyes narrow. “You know, I would like you a lot more if you would stop pushing this modern ideal that simply because a woman can open her door or stand instead of sit, that a man shouldn’t be polite and open it for her or give up his seat. It’s a politeness. It makes me feel good, and you’re ruining it for me.”
She stopped, biting into her bottom lip. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
Yeah, that had been good. Oddly enough, it had also been the truth. “Some men enjoy being courteous to the women they meet. Women aren’t softer. They’re just far more beautiful.”
“You think I’m beautiful?” She flushed and covered her mouth. “I can’t believe I said that out loud. You were talking about all women.”
“I was talking about you.” Whether or not he gave in, she should know she was beautiful. “Now get in and let me take a look at this problem of yours.”
She allowed him to open the door and settled into the passenger seat. “Okay, but I should warn you, it’s pretty violent. It might be upsetting. I mean you’re a college professor. I can’t imagine you’ve seen much violence. This is the nasty side of the world.”
He walked around the car shaking his head as he got into the driver’s seat.
When he closed his eyes at night, he saw all of the bad things of the world in his dreams. Lately he’d begun wondering if he wasn’t one of them. He’d stared into the abyss so fucking long, he’d become a part of it, slowly sliding inside until he didn’t remember what he’d been before. He could tell her stories that would shake her faith in humanity. “Oh, I think I’ll find a way to handle it. I’m sure if it frightens me that you’ll take care of me.”
It was a laughable thought. Though not, it seemed, for Nell. She gave him a bright smile and reached over to touch his arm. “I will. I’ve been in the activist world long enough to know how bad it can be out there, but it’s worth it. We have to fight for the world we want.”
He stopped, his hands in the middle of turning the ignition. Fight for the world we want. It was a child’s ideal—that the world could be changed. The world was the same shit hole it had always been, and he was responsible for making sure bleeding-heart idealists like Nell didn’t realize that truth. If she was forced to face reality, all those ideals would crumble and she would be just like the rest of them—selfish, needy, and willing to trample over anyone to save her own neck.
It was his job to make sure she never knew that about herself.
He turned the engine to his earth-killing vehicle over and eased it into reverse, snow crunching under the tires. He had to be careful. The mountains were beautiful, but like everything else in the world, they were deadly as well if not handled with caution.
“So what do you teach, Henry?”
Assassination 101. South American Coups. How to Change Your Identity in Five Easy Steps. “I teach history.”
Nell’s smile lit up the cab. “Wow. That’s exciting. I love history. What type do you teach? British? I love British history. I can’t decide which age I would rather have lived in. The Dark Ages were full of things to protest. I mean it. What a time to be an activist. Except they kind of burned all of them at the stake. The Victorian Age was better, except if you marched for women’s rights, you often got labeled a whore. I guess this really is the best time to be an activist. Everyone still hates us and thinks we’re annoying, but we no longer get lynched or drawn, hanged, and quartered. Wow. History is kind of bloody now that I think about it.”
He turned slightly and gave her a grin of his own. He actually kind of liked the way her brain worked. He was used to careful conversations where every word was a pointed gun, but Nell just rambled on, giving voice to her every thought. “I specialize in the history of war.”
Her smile disappeared. “I bet you eat meat, too. Don’t you?”
“I can be persuaded to try a salad every now and then.” He wasn’t willing to completely scare her off yet. Being this close to her, he could smell the shampoo she’d used on her hair. Nell Finn smelled like sunshine, and he was so used to the gloom. It was a bad idea, and he rarely had bad ideas. She was going to get hurt.
He was still going to have her. Maybe even today.
It was his vacation after all.
“You’ll need to take a left at the stop sign when you’re down the mountain. Our cabin is near the river. We’re a little isolated.”
Everything was isolated in Bliss, though the valley he’d passed seemed to have plenty of cabins. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to be so far from other people?”
She shrugged. “I like the peace and quiet. It’s nice after the city and all those hospitals.”
“Why were you in the hospital?”
“I wasn’t. Mom was. She has leukemia. We met Pam Sheppard in Denver where she was being treated, and she convinced us to give Bliss a try. I think my mom was hoping she could find a family for me.”
She was getting emotional, her nose flushing. She wouldn’t be able to tell a lie to save her life. “Your mom is your only family?”
She turned slightly, a grin forming. “Unless you count the vampires on another plane of existence. Sorry. I can joke about it now. My mom has certain quirks in her personality, but she’s perfectly harmless.”
Her mom was certifiable. “Is she schizophrenic?”
“No.” Nell huffed. “Delusional, perhaps, but she doesn’t hear voices, and she’s never been violent. She’s a loving mother and a very kind friend. I blame her artistic temperament, but CPS in Atlanta didn’t see it that way.”
He made the left turn and the land became flat, moving toward the valley. “You went into foster care.”
He didn’t like that idea. She was too soft to handle it. A woman like Nell would need someone strong to protect her. Foster parents were a crapshoot. He’d had a couple who cared, but several who had just seen him as a paycheck. A vision of a young Nell being forced into that life assaulted him.