He crushed the butt on the floor, said,
“Kid, my days of telling anyone anything are long gone, but I figure you know about his sister?”
I said I did and how much I liked her. He took a deep breath, then told me what had happened to her.
I acted out the whole grief/shock/horror gig, asked,
“How is she doing?”
He said,
“In a catatonic state.”
I asked,
“What are you suggesting I do?”
He headed for the door, said,
“Look out for your partner.”
I went to the car pool but they said he hadn’t come in, had called in sick... again.
I went back inside, found the grizzled cop, got Kebar’s address and headed out there, he lived in Queens and it took me two hours to find his place.
An old apartment building, six buzzers with no names, I rang them all and finally heard his tired voice go,
“Whatever the fuck you’re selling, I’m not buying.”
I said,
“K, it’s Shea, can I talk to you?”
A pause, then he pressed the buzzer. His apartment was on the third floor and the door was open.
The place was small, one sitting room, tiny bedroom, miniature bathroom, he was sitting on a worn sofa, dressed in a torn NYPD sweatshirt and old jeans, cleaning a gun, using oil to shine the barrel, he didn’t look up, asked,
“What’s on your mind?”
I said,
“I just heard about Lucia, I’m so sorry, and... if I can help?”
He put the gun down, said,
“I got it under control.”
Dismissing me.
I asked,
“But some backup wouldn’t hurt, right?”
He let out a long weary breath, said,
“Go away, kid, this gig is a no-brainer, it’s a career killer, so take off, go become supercop.”
I tried further.
“K, I want to help.”
He finally looked at me, asked,
“What is it you don’t understand about fuck off?”
I took off, stood outside for a few moments, then understood what it was I had to do.
Back at the station house, the sergeant said,
“The goon squad is waiting on you.”
Fucking Internal Affairs.
I said,
“Again?”
He gave a rueful grin, said,
“Hang tough and don’t forget, you can have a union rep with you.”
They used the interrogation room this time.
McCarthy was wearing a fifty-dollar suit, and even at that he was robbed, I suppose it was meant to say, This proves I’m not on the take.
Mainly it proved he had shite taste.
The black guy was leaning against the wall, chewing on a stick, that bemused smile going, took me a minute, then I remembered... Rodriguez.
McCarthy indicated the seat on the other side of the table, the perp’s one, and then sat opposite me, asked,
“How’re they hangin’, kid?”
I considered this, said,
“In a sling, I’d say, if you get your way.”
He laughed, was going to be the good old boy today, said,
“I like you, kid, you have spirit and I’d hate to see you go down.”
I waited and he riffled through some papers, then:
“Morronni, Kebar’s paymaster, he has a sidekick, named Gino, seems somebody did a number on him.”
I hadn’t anything to say to this, so didn’t.
He shrugged, said,
“We’re not the bad guys here, kid, you take down a piece of shit, gets our vote, we can cut you a bit of slack.”
Pause.
“However, you refuse to cooperate, this could be turned into a vigilante cop gig and that’s not good, not good at all.”
I made a show of looking at my watch, asked,
“Is there a point to this and are you ever going to get to it?”
Another laugh, less jollity this time, he said,
“A scumbag named Fernandez did a real number on your partner’s sister and we know Kebar is going to take the fuck down, we want you to tell us when.”
I asked,
“That’s all?”
He was surprised, went,
“You’ll do it?”
“Sure.”
He looked at the black guy, who nodded, and then:
“Don’t even think about screwing with us, got that?”
I said,
“Loud and clear.”
McCarthy sat back, said,
“I’m a little skeptical at your change of attitude, what’s the reason?”
I sighed, loudly, said,
“Kebar is finished, I realize that now, I don’t want to go down with him.”
He decided to push a bit more.
“And if we want you to wear a wire, get Kebar talking about the money, how are you on that?”
My turn to smile, said,
“I’m always wired.”
McCarthy handed me his card, said,
“Call either of those numbers, let us know where and when he goes after Fernandez.”
“Yes, sir.”
He said I could go, his whole expression saying he didn’t believe a word of what I’d said.
As I headed out, he added,
“Your fellow cops, they’re not going to like you giving up your partner.”
I let that hover for a moment, then said,
“Shit happens.”
The black guy followed me out into the corridor, said,
“IA isn’t the bad guys, think of us as the housekeeping department.”
I gave him the look, said,
“Back in Ireland we call them something less flattering.”
He gave me an odd look, then said in a quiet tone,
“You and me, maybe we could have a talk sometime, I think we might be on the same page.”
I let that sit, then said,
“You’re Internal Affairs, out to screw cops.”
He maneuvered the stick in his mouth to the other side, said,
“Oh, I think, you know, you and I might be more alike than you want to admit.”
I was curious, asked,
“In what way?”
He had been leaning against the wall, moved languidly off it, said,
“Lots of shit coming down the pike, gonna be a lot of casualties, and you and me, be nice if we came out on top.”
I stared at him, asked,
“A rat cop, you’re offering to have... as you Yanks say, my back?”
His cell shrilled and he began to move off, said,
“Two-way street bro, time to see which way you want to go on it.”
Some guys regard a date as rather wonderful. Me... I don’t see date... I see prey.
Eleven
I called Nora that evening and we went to the movies and dinner. After, we were back on line, and she said,
“I missed you.”
I was delighted, in a world getting uglier by the minute, she was the only light I could see.
In bed later, she said,
“What’s eating at you?”
I said,
“They want me to give up my partner, sell him out.”
She digested that, asked,
“You have a choice?”
“Nope.”
Then:
“So will you sell him out?”
“Like fuck.”
She said,
“I could fall in love with you.”
Wasn’t as scary as I would have thought, in fact, I liked it.
A lot.
We were spending so much time with each other, Nora began hinting about us maybe living together.
I had to think about that. I’d never been in love in me life, had no idea what it was, but with Nora, I felt, when I was with her, better than who I really was and enjoyed things I never thought I’d enjoy, watching her eat, her laugh, ah Jesus, she had a great laugh, one of those reach-from-the-very-bottom-of-the-soul ones and didn’t care how she looked when she was doing it.