The world hurt. There was no pain in the darkness. I wanted to stay wrapped in it, but he refused to let me go, always there, connecting me to the outside like a lifeline.
I was lying on the blanket under the Christmas tree. Above me the lights twinkled in the branches. So many lights. Olasard, the Ripper of Souls, lay next to me, making muffins on my blanket.
“How long will you keep this up?” Sean’s father asked.
“As long as it takes,” Sean said next to me.
“It’s been four days. Maybe…”
Sean looked at him.
“Okay,” Corwin said. “Forget I said anything.”
He left. The Hiru came and Sean took me to their room to float in their pool and look at the sky I made for them.
“We are so sorry we’ve brought this on you,” Sunset said.
“You should’ve given us up,” Moonlight whispered.
“That’s not who she is,” Sean said.
“We will always remember,” Sunset said. “Always. Every one of us. If we survive, our children and our children’s children will always remember.”
“The Archivarius arrives tomorrow. Will your people be ready?” Sean asked.
“Yes,” the Hiru said at the same time.
“Are you ready to go upstairs, love?” Sean asked me.
“Does she ever answer?”
“She will answer when the time comes.”
“What if she won’t?” Moonlight whispered.
“She will,” Sean said. “She’s a fighter. I have faith in her.”
He picked me up out of the water. The darkness grew a little thinner.
His hands were warm.
“This is getting old, my dear,” Caldenia said. “You and I have an agreement. I expect you to honor it. Get up, now. You don’t want to spend your life like a lump of wood. The scaled creature made a totem of you and he keeps putting different medicines on it and dancing around it. It is getting annoying. Get up, dear. We do not let our enemies win. We claw their hearts out and devour them. You have work to do.”
“Mango ice cream. It is the best thing I’ve ever made. Will you please eat, small human? Please. Please eat, small human. Please.”
The mango ice cream melted on my tongue and a distant echo of its taste slipped through the darkness to me.
Flowers bloomed around me. I sat submerged to my neck in the tub inside the vigil room. A chorus of four voices prayed over me, urgently, forcefully, trying to pour their vitality into their words. My sister’s voice blended with Arland’s and Soren’s, Helen’s high notes underscoring the important parts.
Magic moved among them. A trace of it slipped through to me. I curled around it. It felt so warm.
The prayer ended. Maud wiped the tears from her face.
Arland stepped close to her and put his arms around her.
“Will she ever wake up?” Helen asked.
“I don’t know, my flower,” Maud said.
“Do not despair,” Lord Soren said. “This is her home. My grandfather had all but given up on life. He lay down to die and refused to take food. Yet when House Wrir came to break down the doors, my grandfather rose from his deathbed and led our House to victory. Lived another three years after that until his heart finally gave out. You should’ve seen the funeral. Now that was—”
Arland looked at him.
“Right,” Lord Soren said. “The point is, the Draziri will come for the Hiru. They will bring every fighter they have left. They will attack this inn. Your sister will never let that stand.”
Tony walked into the room. “We’re about to head out.
“We’re also on our way,” Arland said.
“Good luck, everyone,” Tony said.
The corruption slipped through the inn, gathering above them, inching ever closer. They didn’t feel it, but I did. There was something similar about the corruption and I. We existed in a similar place, shrouded in darkness, disconnected but aware. I watched it slither its way through Gertrude Hunt. It was moving through my inn.
My inn.
Tony stepped out. The corruption halted, waiting.
Arland turned and knelt on one knee before my sister. “Wish me a happy journey, my lady.”
Lord Soren turned to Helen. “Come with me, little one.”
“Why?”
“They need to talk.”
They walked away. My sister and Arland were alone.
“Don’t do that,” Maud said.
“Do what?”
“Don’t kneel in front of me. My husband used to kneel before me. It didn’t keep us from being exiled. It didn’t keep him from throwing away everything that we built together. I hate this vampire custom. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“I’m not your husband. It means something to me.”
“Please don’t.” Maud sat on the root and covered her face with her hands. All her strength disappeared. I did that, I realized. A painful twinge gripped me and faded slowly.
“I will return,” Arland said. “I would be by your side if you’ll have me. I would have you if you allowed it.”
She dropped her hands and looked at him. “Arland, I’ve been married and widowed. I have a child. She isn’t your child…”
“Right now she’s no man’s child. She should have a father, who will teach her and treasure her. I will do that for her. I love you, my lady.”
“Don’t tell me that.”
“And I would love Helen as my own.”
“Don’t.”
Arland rose. His face was grim. “I’m no poet. I’m a soldier. So, I’ll just tell you the way it is, as clumsy as it sounds. When I first saw you, it was like being thrown from a shuttle before it touched the ground. I fell and when I landed, I felt it in every cell of my body. You disturbed me. You took away my inner peace. You left me drifting. I wanted you right there. Then, as I learned more of you, I wanted you even more. You want me too. I’ve seen it in your eyes. You taught me the meaning of loneliness, because when I don’t see you, I feel alone. You may reject me, you may deny yourself, and if you choose to not accept me, I will abide by your decision. But know that there will never be another one like you for me and one like me for you. We both waited years so we could meet.”
He left the room.
Maud looked at me. “Say something, Dina. Please say something to me.”
I wanted to tell her that she was afraid of being loved, because her husband betrayed her. That she shouldn’t throw away this chance at being happy. But there was too much darkness between us.
“I will be back,” Sean whispered into my ear.
A fire built inside me. A pressure that strained at the empty darkness. It hurt. The pain suffused me. I tried to escape but there was nowhere to run.
He brushed a kiss on my lips.
The pressure broke and I screamed. Don’t go! Don’t leave me! I’ll be all alone.
“I’ll be back soon.” He let go of me and went for the door.
He didn’t hear me. How could he not have heard me?
He stepped through the door.
Wait. Don’t go.
It closed behind him.
Wait.
Wait for me.
I sat on the porch, watching late afternoon slowly bleed into the evening. Maud had put my favorite robe on me, the blue one that our mother made. I looked like an innkeeper even if I didn’t feel like one. My sister had decided I should have the front row seat, so I would “snap out of it.” Beast lay on my lap. At first, when Sean had brought me in, she hid as if she didn’t recognize me and it scared her. Then, little by little, Sean coaxed her into my bed on the third night. Now she sat with me, sad and occasionally trembling.
Caldenia sat in a chair on my left. My sister stood on my right, holding my broom in one hand, and her sword in the other. In front of us the backyard stretched with the clearing behind it. Helen sat by my feet, holding her knives. The Hiru waited in the kitchen, out of sight.