“Fine. Kali and I are playing Candy Land. Kali just drew a snowflake card. That means she’s earned a visit to Queen Frostine’s iceberg.”
I’m hoping if I keep it light, I can gain some traction.
“So for those of us who’ve never been to Queen Frostine’s iceberg, is that good or bad?” I ask.
Gabe laughs softly.
“Why don’t I let you talk to the expert? Kali, my friend Charlie wants to hear about how we play Candy Land. Can you help him out?”
“Sure.” Kali’s voice has the sweet fizz of soda pop. “Hi, Charlie,” she says. “So what do you want to know?”
“I need to know pretty much everything.” My words to Kali seem to form themselves. “I think tonight I need to find Candy Land again,” I say, and the raw yearning in my voice shakes me.
As she explains the game, Kali’s voice has the breathless cadences of the schoolyard.
“It’s a board game, and it’s kind of baby. It’s for kids who can’t read, and Gabe taught me to read when I was five. Anyway, it’s still fun. I’ll read you the box. It says that Candy Land is ‘a sweet little game for sweet little folks.’ Gabe and I each have a little gingerbread person, and we take our person down the rainbow path, through the Peppermint Stick forest. The first one of us who reaches the Candy Castle wins.”
Robin’s jaw is tight. Staying in control is taking its toll.
“Tell her to run.”
I shake my head and cover the mike with my hand.
“Gabe has the hypodermic, Robin.”
“Tell her…tell her I love her.” Behind Kali’s small voice we hear the bell again. “There’s that sound,” Robin says. “Where have I heard it?”
“Turn on your mike,” I say. “Keep Kali talking. If you hear the bell again, you might be able to identify it.”
“That sounds like fun, Kali,” I say.
“It is fun,” Kali says. “I’m caught in the Molasses Swamp now-you’re stuck in there until…”
“Until you draw the red card,” Robin says. She’s close to tears.
“I didn’t think you’d remember the rules,” Gabe says. He seems genuinely moved.
“I remember a lot, Gabe.” Robin’s voice is, as Gabe described it, full of music.
Through the talkback, Nova’s voice is tense but excited.
“Dr. Harris is doing exactly what she needs to do. Tell her to ramp it up. If she can make Gabe believe they have a future together, we can save Kali.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I flick off my mike and touch Robin’s arm. “My producer thinks that you’re getting through to Gabe. Keep going.”
She nods.
“Gabe, remember the first time we took Kali tobogganing on that big hill over by the ravine? All she wanted to do was race down the hill, but you were worried she’d get hurt. You made her listen to your tobogganing safety rules five times.”
Gabe laughs softly at the memory.
“Finally she got bored, leapt onto her sled and just pushed off. When she hit that bump and sailed through the air, I thought my heart would stop.
“We jumped onto our toboggan and soared after her.” Robin looks to me for approval, and I give her what I hope is an encouraging grin. It does the trick. She carries on. “You and I were such idiots, Gabe. Of course, we hit the same bump Kali did. She was fine, but we nearly broke our backs.”
“Kali was wearing that cap she loved,” Gabe says. “The one with the bunny ears. She shook her finger at us and said, ‘When you were telling me all that stuff about being careful, weren’t you listening?’”
In the background, we hear the sound again. This time I make a connection. I turn off my mike.
“I think it’s an elevator bell-the kind elevators in old buildings have. Keep him talking.”
Robin takes a deep breath and plunges in again.
“Then there was that month we spent at Lake Saint Joseph.”
Gabe’s voice is husky with emotion.
“We made love every morning before Kali woke up. I painted your toenails. The shade was called My Auntie Drinks Chianti-and your toenails were perfect-they looked like small, wet pink petals.”
“You and Kali were never out of the water,” Robin says. “You taught her how to swim and paddle a canoe. And that sand castle the two of you made-it was a work of art.”
“Until the rain came and washed it away. Kali was heartbroken, but you just said, ‘Make another one’ and went back to that journal article you were writing.”
Gabe’s voice has changed. The joy has given way to a terrible despair.
“I remember every second of every hour I was with you, Robin. Dante was right: ‘There is nothing more painful than remembering happy days in times of sorrow.’”
Gabe’s anguish is a knife in my heart. We’ve lost him, and that means we’ve lost Kali. When I meet Robin’s eyes, I see a panic that mirrors my own. She turns off her mike.
“It’s not working,” she says. “Do something.”
I grasp at a cliché.
“Time heals all wounds, Gabe,” I say. “You just have to hang on.”
“There’s nothing to hang on to, Charlie. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. When your show started tonight, you talked about that moment when Eurydice stretches out her arms to Orpheus, but all she can grasp is air. That’s the way it will always be for Kali and me. We’ll always be reaching for Robin, but we’ll never be able to touch her.” His voice breaks. “How could I allow my beautiful Kali to endure that?”
“She doesn’t have to,” I say. “Kali will love other people. Gabe, no one’s life hangs on the love of a single person.”
“Your life did,” Gabe says gently. “Over the years, I’ve often listened to your show. I was listening the night you found out the woman you loved was dead. What was her name again?”
“Ariel.”
“Ariel,” he repeats. “It’s a beautiful name-full of light. When you realized you would never touch her again, wouldn’t you have given anything for a needle that would end your pain?”
“That was different,” I say. My voice is flat. “Ariel was…damn it, Gabe. It doesn’t matter what Ariel was. She’s dead. Kali is alive.”
“And that means ter rible things can happen to her. In ten minutes I’ll be dead. Nothing will ever hurt me again. What kind of man would I be if I left Kali to face the pain alone?”
Robin reaches for her microphone and clutches it as if it were a lifeline.
“Gabe. I’ll come back to you. I promise.”
“Don’t say another word, Robin. You were never a good liar. I don’t want to die knowing that the last words you spoke to me were a lie.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Robin takes off her earphones, folds her arms on the desk and rests her forehead on them. I have no idea how to comfort her. As always when I hit the wall, my gaze travels to the control room. Nova meets my gaze and opens the talkback. The news is not good.