Every night I still went to bed, aching with longing—a longing so deep in my bones sometimes I could almost feel Craig’s arms wrapped around me, feel his warm breath on my neck as he held me.
I heard his deep voice in the dark of the night, whispering loving words, sex words. I’d remember his lovemaking and my body would grow increasingly hot, my frustration increasing when the vibrator in my nightstand did little to ease my need for him.
I was miserable and I wondered how long it was going to take me to move on.
Because I was terrified I never would.
* * *
“Can I get you another glass of wine, Rain?”
The sound of my name jerked me out of my daydreaming. I glanced up at Liam. He was standing by the table instead of sitting beside me in the booth we were all crammed into. I hadn’t even noticed him shimmy out. “Please.” I gave him a small smile and he grinned at me before disappearing off to the bar.
Liam was one of the friends Darcy had made. He was a friend of her friend, Joanie, the girl she’d been staying with these past few months. Like most nights, we were hanging out with a component of Joanie’s large group of mates. On my left was Dex, an American who was dating Mei. Mei was close with Darcy, sitting opposite Dex, and next to Joanie, who was wedged in between her and Xander, Darcy’s new boyfriend. At the end of the booth, sitting tucked into Xander’s side, was Darcy.
I flicked my gaze away from Liam’s retreating back and it clashed with my sister’s. I didn’t like the way she was studying me . . . as though she’d suddenly guessed how unhappy I was. I flashed her a smile, faking it. “You okay?”
“I’m okay.”
“I think Liam fancies you, Rain,” Joanie suddenly said, breaking the intense staring match between my sister and me.
Darcy smiled, a genuine one. “Everyone fancies Rain.”
“You’re one to talk,” Joanie scoffed, and I detected the very real jealousy in her tone and in her eyes as she looked away from my sister.
Darcy sensed it, too, caught my eye, and made a face at me.
I bit my lip, trying not to laugh.
Xander caught the interplay between us and I saw a small smile flash across his face.
My sister was gorgeous. We both had dark, almost black hair, but where I had big dark brown eyes, Darcy had tip-tilted eyes so blue they were like the aqua waters that surrounded Santorini. The blue only stood out more against the long black lashes that framed her eyes. They were stunning eyes. Her features were also more refined than mine, more aristocratic. Plus she was smaller in height and curvier than me. Gorgeous.
Smart.
And strong.
She’d proven how strong.
I was so damn proud of her, and as miserable as I was without Craig, I loved that I got to be with my sister again. More than that, I loved that I got the chance to see how much she’d learned from her mistakes. Xander was the complete opposite of Angus. He wasn’t a pretty boy by any means. In fact, except for his build (he was a very tall, very fit personal trainer), Xander wasn’t all that extraordinary looking. But as I got to know him, I saw the kind humor in his dark eyes and the charisma of a confident, down-to-earth man who looked at my sister like she was a goddess.
He made her laugh.
A lot.
So far he’d only had eyes for Darcy.
And I liked him a heck of a lot for all of that.
I’d discovered, too, that the fateful phone call with Darcy, when she told me she’d started dreaming about Angus and what he did to her again after weeks of recovery, was due to Xander. He’d pursued her determinedly and his pursuit had opened Darcy’s wounds regarding Angus. It had been painful for her, but she definitely seemed to have healed as she came out on the other side of it. To my delight, my sister told me all about Xander’s “courtship” of her and how, despite how difficult she made it for him, he hadn’t given up until she’d given him a chance.
“I thought Liam was dating some German girl,” Mei piped in, pulling me from my Xander musings.
“I’m thinking he’d dump her for a shot at Rain,” Joanie cracked dryly.
“He’s hot,” Mei said.
I glanced at Darcy and could tell she silently agreed. She gave me that “you could do worse” look.
Was Liam hot? I hadn’t really paid attention. I glanced back at the bar and took in his tall, built body. He was in book publishing and he was a surfer. Smart and athletic. And he was the only Australian at the table. His accent was hot.
I could do worse.
But I’d also done better. I’d had Craig. Liam was some other girl’s Craig.
He wasn’t for me.
“I’m not interested,” I muttered, softening my words with an apologetic smile.
“I better warn him not to dump the German, then,” Dex cracked.
I laughed halfheartedly and unfortunately Darcy caught it. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion and I looked away.
My sister would never know about Craig, no matter what. I didn’t want her to know the choice I’d made.
* * *
For the next couple of days life in Sydney went on as usual. Darcy worked on designs for our upcoming fall season and I dealt with emails from our manufacturer in Newcastle back in the UK, and emails from our admin and tech support back home who dealt with accounts, customer inquiries, and the updating of our online clothing store.
I was lulled into a false sense of security with Darcy. I thought my secret safe from her.
Imagine my surprise then when I returned home from grabbing us takeout at a local Chinese to find Darcy sitting on my bed with my iPad mini in her hands.
The photos from my phone were on there.
She turned the iPad and I drew in a sharp breath at a photo of Craig and me. We were standing on a dock on Loch Lomond. It was a selfie of us with the Loch in the background. We were pressed cheek to cheek, smiling happily into the camera. It had been a wonderful day out together. We’d taken long walks, eaten at a lovely wee café, and at night Craig had taken me to a deserted tourist car park and we’d made out and felt each other up like teenagers in the back of his car.
The memories killed me.
I tried not to wince. “What are you doing?” I was angry at the invasion of my privacy—especially considering there were some photos on that iPad of the two of us kissing in bed together—but mostly I felt panic.
Darcy looked confused and hurt. “Is this Craig?”
My panic increased. “How do you know that?”
“Because we have mutual friends back in Edinburgh who, unlike my sister, were willing to tell me what the hell you’ve been up to these last few months.”
“Darcy—”
“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” She shook the iPad at me. “I’ve been worrying since you got here about why you were so fucking sad, hoping that it was just homesickness and that you’d get over it. But it was more than that. I could tell. So I called back home. Lucy said she barely heard from you the last few months you were in Scotland. She said you met some bartender called Craig and then fell off the radar.”
Weary, I slumped down in my computer chair. The flat didn’t have a third room I could use as an office so my bedroom was it. “His name is Craig Lanaghan.”
“And why don’t I know about him?”
Guilty at the hurt look on her face, I sighed. “You were in a bad place and I didn’t want to gloat about my new relationship.”
Her face flushed with anger. “Okay. Fine. How about telling me about him now? Now that you know I’m not in a bad place and have a wonderful man in my life?”
And so I did. I told her everything. About my plans for Angus and how it led me to Craig.
When I was finished, Darcy plopped back against my pillows, looking as exhausted as I felt. “I don’t even know where to start. Your misplaced need to avenge me or you leaving behind the man you love for me.”
“You come first,” I said automatically. “I promised myself I’d never let you down again.”