‘You haven’t made a secret of that. But this isn’t about how we feel. It’s about Liza.’
‘So you said. You’ll get me to do for her what you should do, the way you always have. It’s all for Liza, because you know that’s the one argument that will move me. Just like a lawyer.’
‘I can’t help that. I am a lawyer-’
‘And like any good lawyer you know how to go for the jugular.’
‘All right, do it for me,’ he shouted. ‘Do it so that I can sleep at night knowing I’ve protected her future. Do it so that I don’t have nightmares thinking of her alone. That little girl has lost so much…first her mother, then her father-yes, she’s lost her father. I don’t mean the other one, I mean me. I try to do my duty by her, I know she’s innocent, but it isn’t here.’ He thumped his chest with his fist. ‘With your help I’m putting up a good pretence, but I can’t recreate the feeling-the joy I felt at just being with her, gazing at her, knowing that she was mine. I can’t give her the look she once saw in my eyes. I see her searching for it, puzzled that it’s missing, but there’s nothing I can do. Hate me for it. You can’t hate me as much as I hate myself. Think as badly of me as you like, but do this for her, and for me.’
‘Matteo, please-let me think, I need time-’
‘There isn’t any. I know it’s not fair to dump this on you. What a choice to face you with!’ His voice took on a note of grim humour. ‘You could be a rich widow in a very short time. Or, if you get really unlucky, you might be stuck with me for years.’
‘Stop it,’ she said fiercely.
‘I’m just trying to see it from your point of view.’
‘Do you think I want to make light of it?’ she demanded, beginning to be angry again. ‘Is that what you think of me?’
‘I’m trying to confront this the best way I can,’ he said, his voice rising again in its turn, ‘and you needn’t tell me I’m making a mess of it, because I know that. What is the right way? Shall I go down on one knee?’
‘Don’t you dare!’ she cried in horror. ‘I’d never forgive you.’
‘Then tell me how to persuade you.’
‘You can’t!’
‘I must. You’re the one person in the world that I can turn to, the only one I can rely on. You’re stronger than anyone I know. In some ways you’re stronger than me.’
‘But to suggest that we…Why me?’
‘Because there’s nobody else I can trust to protect Liza.’
‘Your mother-’
‘She’s an old lady, with a sick husband to care for. Apart from her my only family is a cousin that I can’t stand. She’s grim and hard, and hell will freeze over before I let Liza fall into her hands. Once you’re my wife I can make sure you’re her legal guardian if I’m killed.
‘Do this for me, Holly, I beg you. It doesn’t have to be a real marriage, just the legal formality, and I won’t ask more than that.’
‘Are you saying-?’
‘I’ll keep my distance, I swear it.’
Holly stood still, feeling herself trapped in the circle of his arms that had wound fiercely around her, almost like a steel cage. There was no escape, yet something perverse inside her persisted in fighting until the end.
‘I can’t-I can’t-’
‘You must, you must. I won’t let you go until you say yes. Holly, you have got to do this.’
She stared fixedly into his eyes, trying to read there something that would help her. But all she could see was a terrified determination to have his own way, and she was sure of it when he played his last and most unarguable card.
‘If it weren’t for Liza, think where you could be now. It wasn’t me who saved you. It was her, in those first few minutes on the train, telling them your name was Holly, screaming at them to go. You owe her.’
‘That’s a cheap shot,’ she flashed.
He shrugged, half releasing her. ‘Sure it is. I’ll be as cheap as I have to if it makes you say yes. I warned you I’m not a nice man when I want something. Cross me and I’ll fight until you give in. No holds barred.’
It was true. All his least likeable characteristics were on display because he reckoned they were his best weapons. At this moment, when he was asking her to be his wife, tossing his wealth and status into her lap, part of her disliked him as never before. The other part pitied him so that her heart ached.
And it was true. She owed the little girl everything.
‘All right,’ she murmured. ‘For Liza.’
As soon as the words were out she was filled with misgiving. But she was committed now.
He dropped his hands, but still looked at her intently. ‘You mean it? You won’t go back on that?’
‘I’ve given my word.’
Suddenly neither of them could think of anything more to say. They could only look at each other helplessly for a long moment, before opening the door, to find Galina, who’d been shamelessly listening. She was weeping with relief.
The whole household, down to the last gardener, entered into a conspiracy to prevent Liza learning about the situation. Radio and television sets were kept switched off and no newspapers entered the house.
‘All fear must be kept from her,’ Galina said heavily. ‘She must never know that her father’s life is in danger.’
Like Matteo, Galina had accepted without question that it was her duty to carry on as normal. Holly marvelled at her courage. She wasn’t so sure of her own. Already she was a part of what was happening here, caught up in a fearful dream, with no end that she could see.
‘With all my heart I thank you for agreeing to become my son’s wife,’ Galina said to her. ‘Soon I must go home to my husband. I shall feel easier in my mind, knowing that you are here to take care of Matteo.’
‘I’m chiefly here to take care of Liza,’ Holly said quickly.
‘Yes, of course. He has explained that to me.’
‘I only hope that I can do all that Matteo expects of me.’
‘That depends whether you ever come to love him. You once implied that it was impossible.’
Galina’s tone contained a question, but Holly had no answer to give her.
‘I don’t know any more now than I did then,’ she sighed.
‘But you said you’d marry him.’
‘I had to. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer.’
‘That’s his way,’ Galina agreed. ‘You will have to be strong to stand up to him.’
‘He says that I am. He says in some ways I’m stronger than he is.’
‘I agree. I’m glad he understands himself, and you, so well. But strength isn’t enough, Holly. He will need your love. Please try to give it to him.’
She didn’t wait for a reply, but plunged deep into arrangements for the wedding. One of them was overseeing the preparation of the room that had once belonged to Carol, and which had been locked ever since. In no time Galina had an army of servants cleaning it out.
Holly felt slightly uncomfortable about this, but Galina said firmly, ‘You are the mistress now. You. Nobody else.’
‘But Galina-’
‘No ghosts,’ said her future mother-in-law. ‘Not in this house.’
Which left Holly wondering just how much Galina had guessed.
Matteo showed no emotion when he walked into the room and heard his mother’s plans. He merely nodded, thanked her and departed.
She had feared Liza’s reaction to the wedding. While part of her loved Holly, part of her still grieved for her mother, and Holly half expected her to be upset at seeing that mother supplanted. But Liza had smiled and hugged her, and Holly understood that the child had explained it all to herself in a way that satisfied her.
She was even content to see Holly move out of her room and into the one Galina prepared for her as the new mistress of the house. It satisfied her sense of what was right and proper, and strangely made her feel even safer.