“Neci!” Syn shouted from the darkness.
Blip turned on her. “What about surprise?” he whispered.
Syn pushed off and bounded from one chunk of rubble to another. She was used to the zero gravity, and her familiarity showed in her graceful speed. In seconds, she had crossed half of the room to float parallel to Neci, although she made sure to leave several meters between her and the red-hued figure. Syn shouted again, “You can’t stop killing!”
“They’re the killers,” Neci cried, “You just missed your precious machines killing. Look at what they’ve done.” She pointed at the large floating corpse near her. “They killed Admiral! My husband! The father of our first child!”
“What did you tell him to do? What reason did you give them?” Syn asked.
Neci ignored the question as she glanced around Syn. She grimaced. “Where’s Taji?”
Syn winced. Neci noticed. “So, you caught up with her. Or did she find you? Killed her, didn’t you?” In an instant, her tone changed from frantic to mocking. “Everybody’s so into that these days.”
Syn stammered, “I didn’t. She tried to—” Why was she explaining herself to Neci? Why the compulsion to answer for this?
“You’re just like me,” Neci hissed, eyeing the orbiting bots.
“I’m nothing like you.”
Neci smiled, “Did it feel good to kill Taji?”
“Shut up,” Syn retorted.
“It felt so good the first time. I didn’t want to admit it, but afterward, I couldn’t stop reliving the feeling. My fingertips digging into the skin. That moment where the heat of their body switches off—it only drops a degree, but you know something has left it. What about you? Did you kill Taji up close or far away? I know Kerwen was a far-away one.”
“Shut up,” Syn shouted, “I didn’t kill her!”
“Oh, but she’s dead isn’t she? Hmmm. I think you did it up close. You’re so much like me—you couldn’t do it at a distance. Had to be personal.”
“I’m not like you at all.”
In the debris, the charred corpse of the first girl Syn had encountered on this side floated by. Laoule. Her blackened hair whipped around. Syn pointed, “What about her? Did you kill her? What was her name?”
“You’re just like me. We’re identical. Don’t you get that? The only thing that makes you and me different is which side of this hellhole you woke up on. I woke up with forty other mouths depending on me. Forty other half-baked versions of myself. We’re all alike. We all breathe the same way. When we both woke up, our thoughts were identical. If you had woken up over here, and I had been on your Disc, it would’ve been the exact same way. You would’ve killed when you had to kill. You would’ve torched this Disc. You would’ve flooded it. You would’ve kept having to kill to protect those you loved. Don’t you see? If I had woken up on your side, I would’ve been the perfect unblemished princess without any of this hell to go through! I could stand there lecturing myself right now. We are the same. We are the same!”
Laoule’s burnt body floated lazily up and then seemed to hang in the space between them as if willed to stop by some outside force.
Neci was shouting at Syn. Her fists were tight, and her knuckles blazed white. “We are the same! You don’t get to stand there and tell me how awful I am. There’s nothing different about what we would’ve done. You are just as horrible as I am! Don’t you think I know what I’ve done? Don’t you think I’ve hated it? Don’t you think if there were another way about it I would have taken it? I had to do it! I had to save us! They were all depending on me. I didn’t have a choice!”
Neci pointed at the half-shell of Blip floating against Syn. “That should be mine! I should still have Puck. I should still have a companion. But this stupid ship made a dumb mistake. It put me over here. But I’m going to go over, and you’re going to open that gate!”
Syn was crying. There was something in Neci’s words that felt too right. Syn whispered. “I’m sorry.”
Neci shouted, “What did you say?”
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry,” Syn continued. She floated closer to Neci.
Neci was confused—her eyes wide in astonishment. The red lights illuminated them, making her eyes dance like candles in the dark.
Syn said, “You’re right.”
Blip floated closer, “No, she isn’t.”
“Yes, she is,” Syn said. “You’re absolutely right. I would’ve done the exact same things. I’m sorry you didn’t wake up with me.”
Neci narrowed her eyes in suspicion.
“But you shouldn’t have done those things.”
“You just said you knew you would’ve done them.”
“It doesn’t make them right. It just means I’d make the same mistakes. You’re still wrong. Pigeon said it. You’re twisted.”
Neci glanced back at Pigeon who was looking straight ahead, at Laoule’s charred corpse as it floated between them.
Syn saw it now. Neci amongst all of her corpses. She was reminded of the hyenas amongst the carcasses of the tigress and her cubs. Syn spoke, resolute in her declaration. “But you’ve done them. And you’ll keep on doing them. And I can’t let you over.”
“You have to go through,” Neci said, “You have to open the gate.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do,” Blip added. “We have to get to Olorun. I have to talk to her.” Blip’s voice was a quiet whisper in Syn’s ear.
Syn spoke, “You’re not going through.”
“Are you going to kill me now too? Taji? Kerwen? And me? You’ll be right on your way to even up the count between us. Getting off to a good start,” Neci sneered.
“I’m not going to kill you,” Syn held out her arms, motioning at the floating bots around her, “But they’re not going to let you through.”
“They won’t do a thing.” the Crimson Queen eyed them nervously, eyes darting about. “They’re frightened of me.”
“They will if I ask.”
A murmur shot through the bots. Arquella and Bear inched closer. Huck jumped ahead a meter.
In a flash, Neci reached out and snagged Pigeon’s hair and pulled the girl in front of her. There was a knife in Neci’s hand, and it was against Pigeon’s neck. Neci held the girl in a headlock, tightly, looking over her shoulder. The knife was a dark thing. There were glints of metal underneath its stained surface. It was curved, and the tip was dented and misshapen. This was a knife that had been used freely by its owner, someone not afraid of shedding blood.
Neci barked, “You won’t kill me because you won’t kill her. Let me through first or I end the worm.”
“Neci!” Syn shouted back, “Don’t.”
Neci smiled. “That’s why she’s lived this long. She wasn’t useful. She was just the leftover. Can’t kill the smallest one of the litter. That just seems wrong. Funny isn’t it? In the end, she and I are all that’s left. The alpha and the runt. Who would have thought?”
“Neci, please. I’ll let you in. Just let her go.”
Neci pushed the knife against Pigeon’s throat. The girl winced in pain and a line of blood formed at the knife’s edge, digging into her skin. “We go first.”
The entire needle shook. There was a terrible creak that sounded from deep inside the needle.
Blip looked at Syn, “Do it. We have to get in. I have to get to Olorun and eject this Disc.”
“Good plan, little football. That was my plan if I remember right, but it’s fine, you can use it,” Neci squawked.
Pigeon shut her eyes and gave a loud breath. “Her name was Laoule.”
“What?” Neci asked.
Pigeon continued, “We found her companion, Spot, and you wouldn’t let her near him.”
“Shut up,” Neci said.