«Jessi?»
There was no answer but her quick, shallow breaths. Slowly, Wolfe gathered Jessica against his body. Though she was so tense that she was all but rigid, she didn’t fight his embrace. She simply lay against him, quivering like a bowstring drawn to the breaking point. He had felt the same shivering in her once before, when he had held her amid a fragrant haystack while a wild storm hammered all around. She had been crying with fear then.
He found himself wishing that she would weep now.
She didn’t. She simply lay and shuddered at random, finally driven beyond her ability to endure. The knowledge that he had pushed Jessica to the point of breaking brought no triumph to Wolfe. Had he been able, he would have undone every hurtful word. He had never meant to bring her this low.
«It’s all right, elf,» Wolfe said gently. He stroked Jessica’s back, trying to draw some of the tension from her. «Nothing can harm you. I’ll keep you safe.»
«I thought so once,» she whispered. A shudder racked her body. «Nothing can hold back the wind.»
«The wind can’t hurt you.» Wolfe’s hand smoothed slowly over Jessica’s soft hair. «You’re safe with me.»
The silence went on so long Wolfe became uneasy. He turned aside for a moment to light a candle, thinking that the warm dance of flame would comfort Jessica. When he turned back, she was watching the window with a fixed stare that made his skin cold.
«Jessi?» he whispered.
«Dinnaye hear her, laddie?» Jessica asked, her voice and accents that of the Scots child she once had been.
Ice slid down Wolfe’s spine. «Who do you hear?»
Jessica blinked and her voice changed, her accents becoming clipped, English. «The earl is at mum again. First the screaming and then the bleeding and then the burying.»
Wolfe looked down at Jessica. Her eyes were still wide, still focused on something only she could see, something that so horrified her that she was literally chilled by the sight.
«Tell me what you see,» Wolfe commanded gently.
She closed her eyes. «I will not remember.»
«You must. It’s eating you alive. Name your devil and it can’t own you. Name it, Jessi. Nothing is worse than what you now feel.»
Thunder broke in an avalanche of sound that shook the house. Jessica didn’t flinch, for she was caught in a far older, far more violent storm. Her eyes opened. They were sightless, fixed on a past only she could see.
«The earl wants a son,» she whispered. There was no English accent, no Scots burr, nothing but the rhythms and accents of the West.
Wolfe stroked Jessica’s hair, trying to reassure her.
«Go on,» he said softly.
«The earl wants a son.»
«Yes, I understand.»
«Mother doesn’t want to breed. She never wanted to breed after the first time. It near killed her.»
Wolfe’s hand hesitated as he remembered Jessica’s certainty that women never wanted another child after bearing the first. Slowly, he continued the soothing downward motion of his hand over Jessica’s tangled hair.
«Is your father angry about your mother?»
«Always. He’s drunk. He’s walking down the hall to mother’s room. The door is locked. He hammers on it and hammers on it. I can’t hear a lot of what he yells because it’s storming and she is screaming again.»
Wolfe closed his eyes for an instant, hoping that the suspicions coiling coldly in his gut were wrong.
«Does your mother open the door?» he asked.
«No.»
With a silent sigh of relief, Wolfe asked, «What else do you see?»
«He takes an ax to the door. Thunder and chopping and screaming. She sounds just like the wind screaming.»
Wolfe closed his eyes for an instant. Very gently, he brushed his lips over Jessica’s forehead. Her skin was clammy.
«He drags her into the hall,» Jessica continued, «swearing he’ll have a son of her if it’s the last thing either one of them ever does. Some nights I thought it would be.»
Wolfe’s heart turned over as he sensed what was coming next. «Jessi…»
She didn’t hear. «Mother would fight and he would beat her until she was quiet so he could rut on her. When it was over she just lay there until I came and washed off the blood and took her back to bed.»
«Merciful God,» Wolfe breathed, horrified. «You were just a child!»
Jessica kept talking as though Wolfe hadn’t spoken. She no longer wanted to stem the floodtide of memories. She wanted only to make Wolfe understand that she hadn’t withdrawn from him because he repulsed her.
«Sometimes she simply miscarried after weeks of sickness,» Jessica continued relentlessly. «Sometimes she grew big despite the endless vomiting and fainting. Then she slowly turned yellow and was brought screaming to a childbed, knowing the babe within was dead. No one from the village would tend her, for they believed her cursed. I stayed with her.»
«Jessi…» Wolfe’s voice broke.
«When it was finished, I washed and dressed the tiny corpse in a christening gown. They were like wax dolls, as still and pale as the marble headstone we placed on the grave. Six headstones all in a row.»
Jessica looked through Wolfe with wide, dilated eyes. «I did what I could to keep the wind from taking them and her. The wind took them anyway, and finally it took her. I heard their voices in every storm, yet I hear hers most of all. She’s calling to me, reminding me what horror awaits women in the marriage bed.»
Wolfe started to touch Jessica comfortingly, then stopped, not wanting to frighten her. He finally understood all too well how a man’s touch could horrify her.
A final, violent shudder went through Jessica’s body. When it passed, she focused on Wolfe for the first time since memories had claimed her. She could see little more of him than his outline against the golden glow of the candle. Hesitantly, she lifted her hands to his face, needing reassurance of his reality.
«You are so warm,» she breathed.
Slowly, she caressed Wolfe’s cheeks, enjoying the heat of life burning beneath his skin, warming herself as though he were a fire. The simple hunger for his warmth made Wolfe understand how cold she had felt. He tried to speak, but had no words to equal the mixture of emotions tangled within him.
«I didn’t mean to fight you,» Jessica whispered, struggling to keep her voice from breaking. «Not my own Wolfe.» Her arms went around Wolfe’s neck as she pressed her face against his chest. «Please don’t hate me. You’re the only one I’ve ever trusted.»
Wolfe felt the sudden heat of her tears against his neck and his own eyes burned. He made a low sound and touched her cheek with a hand that trembled.
«I don’t hate you, Jessi,» he said hoarsely. «Never that.»
She turned to press a kiss against his palm.
«Thank you,» she whispered.
«Don’t turn the knife,» he said, his voice fraying. «I should be the one asking you not to hate me. I thought you were just spoiled and stubborn. I didn’t know you were fighting for your life.»
Wolfe’s lips brushed repeatedly over Jessica’s eyelids and lashes, taking her tears. «Don’t cry, elf. Don’t cry. It tears out my heart. Please stop. I’ll never be cruel like that again.»
«I’m s-sorry. I know my tears d-disgust you, but I —»
Wolfe’s thumb pressed gently against Jessica’s lips, stilling her words. «Your tears don’t disgust me.»
«But you s-said —»
His thumb pressed against her lips once more. «Hush, little one. When I said that, I was furious because I thought my touch repulsed you.»
«Never,» Jessica said instantly, tightening her arms around Wolfe’s neck. «Nevernevernever! You were my talisman against the wind. I carried you inside my heart, but then you started hating me and there was nothing left but the wind.»