He followed, watching in silence as she came to a stop beside the door.
Letting him go without begging him to stay was the hardest tiling she had ever done. Not because she needed him to hold back the night. Because she needed him to hold her. Because she was learning she needed more than just the pleasure.
“Don’t bother coming back unless you come back alone.”
She saw the surprise that surged into his eyes. But how could he be surprised? Surely he hadn’t thought it would continue like this indefinitely. That she would always be the little plaything that he could share with his friends and she would never ask for anything more.
“You haven’t enjoyed it?” His eyes narrowed, his expression tightening. Not in anger. Strangely, she thought she might have sensed a small flicker of knowledge instead.
She could not afford to let herself care for him any more than she already did. Her heart was getting twisted up in this, her need for more, for something deeper, was beginning to gnaw at her like a hungry beast. Watching him leave each time, never knowing the softer, gentler side of having a lover, was starting to hurt too much. She wanted to laugh in bed with him. She wanted to wake up beside him and argue over the blankets, and how stupid was that?
And she was falling in love with him. She knew she was. Soon he would have the power to destroy her in ways that Drew could have never imagined.
She stared back at him, eye to eye, and whispered, “I don’t have the strength for a broken heart right now, Chase. And this is going to break my heart. I need more than a few hours, whenever.”
“What the hell does a broken heart have to do with us?” His jaw clenched, the muscle flexing within it dangerously.
Of course, to him, her heart didn’t have anything to do with it. They weren’t even involved in a relationship. She was nothing but a fuck buddy, she told herself, as painful as that thought was, and she couldn’t bear it anymore.
“It has everything to do with me,” she answered him. “You can come to me alone, or not at all. As hot, as wicked, as being with both you and Khalid has been, I’d like to see, just once, if you know how to fuck without him.”
A frown snapped between his brows. “This is insane, Kia. What we have is something we’ll not find without a third.”
“Well, now, wouldn’t I just like to find that out myself,” she drawled painfully. “If you truly believe that, Chase, then you can walk right out this door and find another woman to be the filling in your and Khalid’s little sandwich. You don’t really need me at all. Any blond twit would work.”
“You’re not turning this into something it’s not, Kia,” he warned her. “Emotion isn’t going to play a part in this. That was the agreement. For the pleasure. That was the deal we had.”
“It’s your deal then, because I’ve had enough.” She lifted her chin, her breathing harsh, painful. She could feel the knife stroke of pain slicing through her at the knowledge that she couldn’t have even this much of him because of her own pitiful emotions. “You can return here alone, or not at all.”
Falling in love sucked. She realized that the day she had known her marriage was over, which came even before the night her husband had attempted double rape, but it hadn’t hurt like this.
This was all Chase wanted from her, though, and that had the power to break her.
Chase shook his head, as though bewildered.
“Look, you just need a little time.” He cleared his throat and dragged his fingers through his hair as she watched him in astonishment. “You’re obviously upset over that confrontation with Drew today. I know that’s enough to throw you off balance. Once you figure out what we have here and that you don’t want to let go, all you have to do is call me.”
Call me. Khalid had made that offer. Her lips curled mockingly.
Of course, he didn’t truly know why she was upset. He was a man. And this was just for the pleasure. She was just for the pleasure. She wasn’t woman enough for his heart. And God help her, but she needed the emotion, the heart to go with the man.
“It won’t make a difference,” she finally told him softly as she opened the door. “If you change your mind, though, perhaps you could put yourself out to go to the effort of calling me.”
Chase pondered her words silently. He couldn’t risk it. He knew he couldn’t risk it. Kia had a power over him that no other woman had ever had. Sleeping with her, making love to her—and it would be making love, he knew with an instinct he didn’t fight—would bare him to her completely.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, moving to her slowly, cupping her cheek in his hand and watching her lashes flutter in pleasure. And in pain.
“I’m sure.”
She didn’t sound sure. She sounded lost and alone, like a woman fighting her tears. But her eyes were dry, though her face was pale.
“Kia—”
“Just go, Chase,” she whispered. “Please. Just go.”
He left. He forced himself to walk through the door, forced himself to keep moving as it closed quietly behind him. Just as he forced himself to walk into the early evening cold, hail a cab, and order it to Squire Point.
But he left something behind, he thought to himself. Something he might never regain.
Cameron sat back in his chair when his brother strode into the office the next morning. Late.
In the years he and Chase had both been working for Ian Sinclair, Cameron couldn’t remember the last time his brother had been late. For anything.
Chase was methodical; he liked to keep his schedule, and he prided himself on being punctual. There had been a while there when Cameron had actually wondered if his brother was human rather than a robot when it came to his schedule.
“You’re late.” He pointed out the obvious as Chase tossed his jacket on the hook on the wall and prowled to his computer desk.
He received some kind of grunt in reply.
Cameron grinned, sat back in his chair, and studied the enigma that was Chase. That took all of about five seconds. In the past six months Cameron had slowly been allowing that twin bond they’d once had to return. Letting go of the control he had always had over it hadn’t been easy, but Jaci’s love had helped. She’d soothed all those ragged, pain-filled edges and given him a reason to live again.
She’d given him the strength to take a chance on letting his brother sense his emotions, something he hadn’t done in twenty years. And he’d learned it wasn’t Chase sensing what Cameron was feeling. It was the other way around.
Cameron winced at the bottled emotions inside his brother, and he almost smiled. Hell, it was no wonder Chase had been amused when Jaci had walked back into their lives and proceeded to shake Cameron’s little world.
It was downright funny.
To look at Chase’s set, closed face no one would guess at the almost hollow anger that filled his brother, and the need. Damn, that need was enough to remind Cameron that he had a lunch date at home with his fiancée and a little afternoon love he’d been set on making.
The need trapped inside Chase was blistering hot, boiling, and threatening to explode. And Cameron had a feeling he knew exactly who it was going to boil over on. The potential for it had always been there. Even before Kia Rutherford married Drew Stanton, she had been the one woman Cameron had sensed Chase shying away from.
Chase might tell himself this was only for the pleasure, but Cameron knew better. And he had a feeling his brother was learning better.
Having a sister-in-law would be an odd experience, Cameron thought. Especially Kia Rutherford. But he imagined Chase probably felt the same way, with the wedding plans that were progressing rapidly between himself and Jaci.
He’d have his ring on Jaci’s finger soon, Cameron promised himself. And he’d wear hers with pride. But that feeling wasn’t helping his brother any. Chase, Cameron decided, needed a bit of help.
“You came in late last night,” he commented as Chase unclipped his cell phone from his belt and slapped it on the desk.