She paused as the music drew to a close and moved from his arms before the orchestra swung into another slow tune.
“It’s 'not enough for you either,” she told him then, knowing it, feeling it so deep inside her that the knowledge was a part of her. “You want it to be. You wish it were. But both of us know it’s not. And that has the potential to destroy us. Not the emotion itself.”
“I wish you wouldn’t walk away, Kia.” His voice was stony, his gaze cool, those light green eyes becoming icy.
She smiled sadly. “I wish I didn’t have to walk away.”
And she did. She turned and moved toward her parents, to where they stood with her aunt.
She had made her appearance, she had mingled, she had danced, and she’d had her single glass of wine. And she’d had enough.
It was far better than she had done in the past two years, she told herself. She wasn’t hiding, she wasn’t afraid of the social niceties, and she did not fear the whispers that followed her.
Turning back, she watched as Chase moved onto the dance floor again, this time with a debutante who was no doubt cooing and simpering at the honor of dancing with one of the princes of society.
Kia sighed with the saddened realization that that girl could have been her six years before Believing she was so poised, so strong, and so impossible to hurt. And she had learned different.
“Kia, sweetheart, your aunt and uncle are coming to the house after the ball.” Her father drew her attention back to him. “You should join us.”
“I think I’ve had enough for the night already, Daddy.” She gripped his arm and reached up to kiss his cheek. “Gould you have the limo brought around for me? I’m heading home.”
“Are you certain?” He frowned and looked over her shoulder to the dance floor, to Chase, no doubt.
“I’m positive.” She nodded decisively. “I need the rest.”
She hugged her parents and her aunt and uncle before moving through the room, keeping her eyes averted from Chase. It was nearly impossible. If she looked at him, she just might weep.
Her fingers ached to caress him, her body tingled with the need for him. Beneath her dress, her juices spilled into the fine lace of her black panties, new panties, bought with Chase in mind.
As the doorman helped her on with her cape and returned her purse to her, Kia turned back and looked.
He wasn’t dancing. He was leaning against the wall as he chatted with Ian Sinclair. His eyes were on her, though. His look called to her, urging her to come back, to take the pleasure he was offering her.
A few hours in his arms, and no more.
Was it worth walking away? Letting go of what she could have in exchange for the loneliness awaiting her at home. She could take him and Khalid, hold on to Chase, and pretend they were alone.
No, she couldn’t. She knew she couldn’t. As much as she had enjoyed those stolen encounters, she didn’t want to revisit them.
She turned slowly and moved from the ballroom into the hotel lobby and to the doors that another doorman held open for her.
The limo waited outside beneath the portico, and the snow was falling once again. Huge fat flakes that promised to pile high and once again cover the city with the magic of winter.
She stepped into the limo and settled into the seat with a heavy heart. She could watch the snow from the couch tonight. By herself with the gas logs lit to keep her company. She would push Chase from her heart eventually, and then it wouldn’t hurt anymore. And when it didn’t hurt anymore, perhaps then it would be time to reprioritize her life.
She was spending too much time alone, and a girl could only go shopping so many times. She needed a hobby, perhaps a job. Her father had offered her a job several times and she had refused. Perhaps it was time to take him up on it. Almost anything would beat the loneliness. Working as a consultant only didn’t take up nearly enough time.
Chase stepped out of the hotel entrance as the limo pulled away and the valet pulled in with his car. He slid behind the wheel and accelerated, following the Rutherford limo.
He should have stayed at the party, he told himself. He was a fool to follow her like this, to do what he knew he was going to do.
But he needed her, one last time. Alone.
Just the two of them.
The thought of it had tormented him since the moment she told him not to return to her unless he was alone. That thought, and the permission she had given him to come inside her.
He had never come inside a woman until Kia. From his first sexual experience, to Kia, Chase had always worn protection.
He rubbed at his jaw absently. With Kia, the thought of anything between them made him insane. He wanted to bury himself inside her, bare, feel her clenching and tightening around his cock with each ripple of pleasure that went through her.
Following the limo he let the warnings against a relationship with Kia flow through his mind. He had a lifetime of habit behind him, and it was disintegrating at the thought of Kia’s wet, snug flesh surrounding him.
That should be a warning in itself.
The Rutherford limo pulled up at the sidewalk in front of Kia’s apartment, and the chauffeur jumped out to open the door for her.
“Thank you, David.” She let him help her out, then turned and looked to her side as a familiar form moved into her peripheral vision.
She stared back at him silently as he leaned against the hood of his car, uncaring of the snow that drifted and flew around him.
Kia pulled her cloak tighter around her as she stared at him.
“Is everything okay, Miss Kia?” David asked her, obviously bristling at the sight of Chase.
“It’s fine, David. You can leave now and return to my parents.”
He gave Chase a warning glare, which only succeeded in the slight tug of amusement at Chase’s lips.
David moved back to the vehicle and closed himself in as Kia moved slowly to where Chase waited.
She could feel the stroke of his gaze on her, and felt heated, warmed, even as the cold air swirled around them.
“Are you alone?” she whispered. He moved, his arm coming around her back, pulling her against the heat of his body.
“Just us.” He lowered his head, his lips almost touching hers. “Come out with me. We’ll see the lights.”
Kia felt hope, warmth, life. She stared back at him and let a smile curl her lips as her fingers clenched on his biceps.
“I would love to see the lights with you, Chase.”
He stole a kiss. She was certain he meant for it to be only a quick one, but he lingered, stroked her lips with his and she felt her heart race as he pulled back reluctantly.
“Come on.” He led her to the passenger side door, opened it, and helped her into his sporty BMW.
She watched as he moved around the car and got in beside her before moving into the traffic and the snow that was coming down heavier.
Aerosmith was playing from the CD, but it wasn’t loud. The blend of music, the swish of the wipers, and the warmth of Chase beside her lulled her into a vortex of spiraling desire and comforting warmth.
“Are you too warm?” he asked her as she unclasped her cloak and pushed it back on her shoulders.
It was warm, but she didn’t think it was the heat spilling from the vents that created the heat.
“I’m fine.” She shook her head. “Why are you here tonight?”
His fingers tapped against the steering wheel as he negotiated the traffic.
“I’ve missed you,” he finally stated.
Kia stared at him suspiciously. “I see.”
“Do you?” His tone was classic male mockery. “I’m glad one of us sees what the hell is going on here.”
“What is going on?”
“I’m dying for you,” he said. “It doesn’t just go away, Kia. It never has.”
She looked down at her hands, smoothing her thumb over the nail of her index finger rather than letting him see the hope rising inside her.
“No, it doesn’t go away,” she finally murmured. “You know, I was completely fascinated with you before I married Drew.”