She deserved this. She had deserved it that first time he and Khalid had taken her together, and he had been terrified of sharing it with her. Of being this close to her. Somehow, he had known this would be different with Kia than it had ever been with any other woman.
She was going to end up owning him, if she didn’t already. And he couldn’t even find the strength to let it concern him.
He would know soon if she could handle the darkness in him. A few days, a week, if she stuck it out, then there would be hope for it. Because possessiveness was nothing compared to what he was feeling for her. He had nearly lost her the other night. He couldn’t chance that ever happening again.
As she dozed against him, the warm water rising around them, he washed her gently, kneading her trembling muscles, washing the sweat from her body.
He detached the handheld shower, washed her hair, and let a grin tug at his lips as her expression became sensual, almost catlike in her pleasure.
As he finished, the water was lapping at her breasts, warming her as she snuggled against him. He kept her there, holding her, careful not to arouse her. She would be sore tomorrow, and he wanted to ease the worst of the effects of the loving he had given her.
The loving. Damn, that thought should have had him panicking. Instead, it filled him with contentment.
“Ready to get out?” He let his lips caress her brow as he whispered the question.
“Hmm. Only if I have to.” Amusement lightened her voice, made it sparkle around him. Damn, he was a goner, that was all there was to it.
“You’ll turn into a prune.”
“So will you.” She smiled, her fingers threading through the damp hair on his chest as he grunted at the reminder.
“Come on, vixen.” He lifted them both out of the water, wondering which was getting more important, that nap or the need for food.
“You’re treating me like a baby,” Kia told him as he helped her out. He dried her hair with a towel before bending and drying the rest of her body.
“You deserve it.” He stared at her as he dried himself quickly.
“Why? All I did was lay there.”
He looked too sexy, standing there naked, still half aroused. Hell, maybe he had stayed aroused. He was definitely fine to look at with all the muscle and bronzed skin. Black hair fell around his face and sprinkled over his chest and thighs. He looked the way a man should look, she thought. Sexy, dangerous, and completely confident.
He shook his head at her comment. “You did more than lie there, Kia.”
“Yeah, I came like I was dying.” She laughed as he lowered his head and whispered a kiss over her lips. “I should be bathing you for the experience.”
He shook his head as it lifted. He wanted to tell her exactly what she had given him, but he couldn’t find the words. He felt strangely helpless, and that was a feeling that didn’t sit well with him at all.
“You pleasured me,” he whispered instead. “More than you know.”
Her eyes brightened, the gemlike glow deepening as pleasure flushed through her.
“I can feed you then.” She smiled. “I’ll find my legs again in a minute. I can cook, you know.”
Chase nodded. “After we eat, we’ll get some of your stuff and start moving you in here.”
Kia paused. She froze, actually, and watched him carefully. She wasn’t certain now that that was a good idea at all. It had taken her too long to find her balance in the face of his disregard to start with. She had finally settled herself into the idea of being alone, living alone, sleeping alone.
And she didn’t fully trust him, she realized. Not with her emotions.
“I was just learning to do without you. Now you want me to move in here?” She pulled a towel around her, suddenly uncomfortable with her nakedness. “Isn’t this a bit quick, Chase? Weren’t you the one who told me just last week that I didn’t want this with you?”
She was scared, she realized. Afraid to let herself believe and to risk his changing his mind in a day, a week, whenever.
She couldn’t do this. She could feel the panic rising inside her. The risk to her heart was too great right now.
“It’s not negotiable.” His expression hardened as he stared down at her, obviously more comfortable in his nudity at this moment than she was.
At his statement, her brow arched. “Not negotiable?” she asked him softly. “Then it had better get negotiable, Chase, because this isn’t happening. I’m going home today. Period.”
She moved to sweep from the bathroom, determination welling inside her. She was willing to be his lover; she wanted to be his lover. But the past weeks had been brutally hard on her. She wasn’t willing to chance that sort of upset again. Not this soon.
His fingers wrapped around her arm as she moved by him, the hard depths of those light ice-green eyes glaring down at her.
“This was what you wanted,” he rasped. “Don’t deny it.”
“It was what I wanted, emphasis on the last syllable of that word, Chase. I’m not willing to risk this much, this fast, with a man who until two days ago wanted nothing more than a few casual fucks from me. A man who walked away when I all but begged him to spend the night with me.” She pulled her arm from his grip. “I don’t want to lose you, but neither do I want to risk a broken heart again. Not this soon. Not until I know you want more than just the pleasure.”
“And I haven’t shown you that?” He moved in front of her, his expression creasing with a flare of anger, of male arrogance. “What more do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know, Chase. Try winging it. That’s what I did,” she said calmly. “Because until I feel more confident about whatever it is you want from me, then I’m not giving you any more of myself than I have already. You could destroy me. It’s a risk I’m not taking lightly.”
He watched as she moved around him then, her chin lifted, defiance glittering in her eyes, in her expression, as he clenched his teeth and acknowledged she was right.
This was supposed to have been only for the pleasure. Now the pleasure wasn’t enough for him, and she didn’t trust his need for more. How the hell had he managed to fuck this one up?
20
Chase escorted Kia into the lobby of her apartment building, his hand riding low on her back as they moved to the elevator.
He was aware of that glimmer of amusement and confusion that had filled her eyes at breakfast, that resisted his determination to get her to pack her bags and move in with him.
He didn’t like it. Realizing she didn’t trust him bothered him. He could feel the sexual tension building inside him, as she continued to defy him on a level he hadn’t known existed.
He wanted her in his bed. His bed. He wanted her in the home he had been building for years, close to his brother, close to family. Where she would be safe. Where he could try to beat the odds and never lose her as he had lost his parents, as he had nearly lost his brother.
She didn’t trust him enough to move in with him.
Damn her. He had no intention of walking away from her now and she should know it. At this rate, he would be the one moving in with her, and though he liked her apartment fine, something screamed out at him that she liked his a hell of a lot better.
“You know you’re being stubborn just for the sake of being stubborn,” he told her as the elevator made its ascent.
“I’m certain that’s what you believe, Chase,” she told him calmly.
Her tone had remained calm through every argument he had presented her with.
“Kia, if you don’t stop using that patronizing little tone with me, we’re going to have problems here,” he told her, staring down at her, wishing he could be angry with her.
A part of him was amazed at how easily she had dealt with first his male outrage, and then his brooding silence through breakfast, and finally his arguments on the drive to her apartment.