Yeah, that was so not going to happen.
Right before I hung up, she pushed the whole going-to-see-a-doctor-for-my-voice thing again. Telling her it was just a cold worked now, but what was I going to say in a week or two from now? God, I really hoped my voice healed by then, although a part of me knew this might be permanent. Another reminder of…everything.
I had to tell her the truth.
Grabbing a package of instant mac and cheese, I started to pop it in the microwave but then stared down at my hands, frowning. Did they have microwave powers like Dee and Daemon did? I turned over the bowl, shrugging. I was too hungry to risk it.
Heat wasn’t my thing. When Blake was training me to handle the Source and tried to teach me how to create heat—i.e. fire—I’d caught my hands on fire instead of the candle.
As I waited for the mac, I stared out the window over the sink. Dawson had been right earlier. It really was beautiful now that the sun had risen. Snow blanketed the ground and covered the branches. Icicles hung from the elms. Even now, after the sun had set, it was a beautiful white world out there. I kind of wanted to go out and play.
The microwave dinged, and I ate my unhealthy dinner standing, figuring at least I would burn off calories that way. Ever since Daemon had mutated me into this human-alien-hybrid-mutant-freak, my appetite was out of this world. There was almost nothing left in the house.
When I finished, I quickly grabbed my laptop and sat at the kitchen table. My brain had been scattered the last week, and I wanted to look up something before I forgot. Again.
Pulling up Google, I typed in Daedalus and hit enter. Wikipedia served up the first link and since I wasn’t expecting a “Welcome to Daedalus: Secret Government Organization” website, I clicked.
And I got all acquainted with Greek myths.
Daedalus was considered an innovator, creating the labyrinth the Minotaur resided in, among other things. And he was also the daddy of Icarus, the kid who flew too close to the sun on wings fashioned by Daedalus, and then drowned. Icarus got giddy from flying and, knowing the gods, it was probably a form of passive punishment, leading to Icarus losing his wings. That and a punishment for Daedalus, who’d outfitted Icarus with the contraption that gave the boy the godlike ability to fly.
Nice history lesson, but what was the point? Why would the DOD name an organization overseeing human mutation after some dude—?
Then it struck me.
Daedalus created all kinds of things that bettered man, and the whole godlike-abilities angle was kind of like humans who were mutated by the Luxen. It was a leap in logic, but come on, the government would be so full of themselves they’d name their organization after a Greek legend.
Closing the laptop, I stood and found myself grabbing my jacket and going outside. I really didn’t know why. Who knew if there were more Officers sneaking around? My overactive imagination formed the image of a sniper hiding in the tree and a red dot appearing on my forehead. Nice.
Sighing, I dug out a pair of gloves from the pockets of my jacket and high-stepped it through the mounds of snow. Needing some form of physical exercise to keep my brain from going into overdrive, I started rolling a ball of snow across the front yard. Everything had changed in a matter of months and then again in a matter of seconds. Going from shy, book-nerd Katy to something impossible; someone who had changed on more than a cellular level. I no longer saw the world in black and white and deep down I knew I didn’t operate on basic social norms anymore.
Like thy shalt not kill or whatever.
I hadn’t killed Brian Vaughn, the Officer who had been paid off by Will to turn me over to him instead of the Daedalus as I could be used as leverage to ensure that Daemon mutated him instead of killing him outright, but I had wanted to and I would have if Daemon hadn’t beaten me to it.
I’d been totally okay with the idea of killing someone.
For some reason, killing the two evil aliens, the Arum, hadn’t affected me as much as the idea of being totally kosher with killing a human did. Not sure what that said about me, because like Daemon had said once before, a life was a life, but I didn’t know how to process adding the words ‘okay with killing’ to the bio section on my book blog.
My cotton gloves were soaked by the time I finished with the first ball and moved on to rolling the second lump of snow. This whole physical-exertion thing wasn’t doing anything other than causing my cheeks to burn in the frosty, snow-scented air. Fail.
When I was done, my snowman had three sections, but no arms or face. It kind of mirrored how I felt inside. I had most of the body parts but was missing vital pieces to make me real.
I really didn’t know who I was anymore.
Stepping back, I ran the sleeve of my arm over my forehead and let out a ragged breath. Muscles burned and skin ached, but I stood there until the moon peeked out behind thick clouds, sending a slice of silvery light over my incomplete creation.
There’d been a dead body in my bedroom this morning.
I sat down in the middle of my front yard, right in a pile of cold snow. A dead body—another dead body, just like Vaughn’s dead body that had fallen near the driveway, just like Adam’s dead body that had lain in the living room. Another thought I’d tried to ignore wormed its way through my defenses. Adam had died trying to protect me.
Wet, cold air stung my eyes.
If I had been honest with Dee, telling her from the start about what really happened in the clearing that night we fought Baruck and about everything thereafter, she and Adam would have been more cautious about bum-rushing my house. They would’ve known about Blake and how he was like me, capable of fighting back on a souped-up alien level.
Blake.
I should’ve listened to Daemon. Instead, I wanted to prove myself. I wanted to believe that Blake had good intentions when Daemon had sensed something off about the boy. I should’ve known when Blake had thrown a knife at my head and left me alone with an Arum that there was something very demented about him.
Except was Blake demented? I didn’t think so. He’d been desperate. Frantic to keep his friend Chris alive and trapped by what he’d become. Blake would’ve done anything to protect Chris. Not because his life was joined with the Luxen, but because he cared for his friend. Maybe that’s why I hadn’t killed him, because even in those moments where everything was pure chaos, I saw a part of me in Blake.
I’d been okay with the idea of killing his uncle to protect my friends.
And Blake had killed my friend to protect his.
Who was right? Was anyone?
I was so caught up in my thoughts, I didn’t pay much attention to the warmth skipping across my neck. I jumped when I heard Daemon’s voice.
“Kitten, what are you doing?”
I twisted around and lifted my head. He stood behind me, dressed in a thin sweater and jeans. His eyes glimmered under thick lashes.
“I was making a snowman.”
His gaze drifted beyond me. “I see. It’s missing some stuff.”
“Yeah,” I said morosely.
Daemon frowned. “That doesn’t tell me why you’re sitting in the snow. Your jeans have to be soaked.” There was a pause and damn if that frown didn’t turn upside down. “Wait. That means I’d probably get a better look at your butt, then.”
I laughed. Leave it to Daemon to always take things down a level or two.
He glided forward as if the snow moved out of the way for him and sat beside me, crossing his legs. Neither of us said anything for a moment, and then he leaned over, pushing me with his shoulder.
“What are you really doing out here?” he asked.