He sighed. "What's a few more days at this point? But Lacey, I'm not using you to bury my grief, or distract myself, or exorcise my demons. I have real feelings for you. And I hope you can forgive me for omitting all the ugly details of my life. It wasn't intentional. I just prefer not to talk about it. Or think about it. Or deal with it in any way."
"I get it. Believe me. Communication isn't my strong suit either. I'd much rather keep things light, too. But being together isn't all about having fun and wild monkey sex. There has to be more to it than that."
"Are you sure? Wild monkey sex and enjoying each other seems like enough to me. Can't we just try it like that for a while? Does it sound so terrible?"
"Actually that sounds pretty good, in theory. But you know it never works like that. I need more and I think you do too. I'm just not sure you're ready. And I'm really worried that I can't give you what you need. I've never suffered anything even close to what you've been through. In the last three years you've lost your dad, your wife and your unborn child. By comparison, I've had a pretty uneventful life. Maybe you need someone who can understand what it's like to lose so much."
"So I need to be with someone as messed up as I am?"
"No, you're not messed up. Not at all. The fact that you're still capable of functioning and laughing and even contemplating moving on is just astounding. If it was me, I'd be catatonic."
"But I was like that, before you. Not catatonic exactly. But barely hanging on. You woke me up. Made me see that life can be good again. Made me smile and made me so horny I could hardly see straight."
"You have a way with words, Jack."
"I know, one track mind. What can I say? I'm a guy. I know it's not terribly romantic, but that desire, that need for something as normal as sex was such a relief after not being able to feel anything but anger and grief. You have no idea how close I was to being lost forever. If you hadn't shown up when you did, I don't know if I would have recovered, ever."
"I didn't do anything. I just stared at you and made a fool of myself."
"That was part of it, for sure. Not the fool part, but the staring. You made me feel like a man again. People have been so fucking weird around me since the accident. They don't know what to say, or they're always asking me how I'm doing. Or they just look at me with pity. I can't stand that look. But to you, I wasn't some poor schmuck you felt sorry for. I was the guy you were hot for. And that was the best feeling in the world after being 'Poor Jack' to everyone else."
"You can't tell me that I was the first woman to mentally undress you since the accident."
"No, I can't say that. Serena started to play match-maker about a year after it happened. She was constantly throwing me and random women together."
"Great. So I was just the latest woman she threw at you?"
"Kind of. But you were the first I wanted to catch."
"Wow. You are smooth, aren't you?"
"Hardly. If I was smooth at all, I probably wouldn't have started this conversation with my pants around my ankles.
"Maybe not."
"What I'm saying is that you really were the first woman who simultaneously made me laugh, made me curious, and made me want to rip your clothes off. So, you were exactly what I needed at that moment in time to make me feel alive again."
"Where do we go now? What if I start giving you the 'Poor Jack' look. Not intentionally, of course. But it's hard not to see you differently knowing what you've been through. I may have been what you needed then, but what if I can't be what you need now?"
"Lacey, all I need from you is what you've given me up until now."
"And what's that exactly?"
"Just treat me like a normal guy. 'Cause that's what I am. Fight with me if I'm being a jerk. Make me laugh if you want. And jump my bones whenever possible. Not because you want to console the poor widower, but because you want me. All I ask is that you don't tip-toe around me because of all this stuff from my past."
"And what if I can't do that?"
"Well, then I guess our days of hot monkey sex are numbered. I was with someone who made me feel bad about myself for years, but even that would be preferable than being pitied. I want the next woman I'm with to feel lucky to have me. Not feel sorry for me."
"I really do want to be that woman, Jack. But I need to sort this all out in my head. Can we meet up in a few days?"
"Whatever you need, Lacey. But if you do decide you want to take a chance on us, please do it because it's what you want. Not because of some misplaced sense of obligation. Okay?"
"Okay. Now can I get dressed? This granite is freezing without all the friction."
Jack silently handed Lacey her bra. His brow furrowed as he realized that this might be the one and only time he saw her naked. He drank in the sight of her as she shimmied into her pretty green bra.
It was pretty clear that she wanted out. Her demand for just a few days to sort things out was just a polite way of pulling the plug on this relationship. He couldn't really blame her. Who wouldn't want to escape his troubled past? So, she would avoid him and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He knew he needed to be warm and reassuring in order to convince Lacey not to give up on him, but it just wasn't in him. Being numb was better than feeling pain, so he embraced the coldness in him and pulled away from her.
"I gotta go," he said, crossing his arms over his naked chest. "Okay if we do the checklist another time?"
Lacey looked at him reproachfully. "Well, sure. If you have to go."
"What?" He asked frostily as he yanked on his shirts. "You said you needed time. Might as well start right now."
Lacey gaped at him. "Okay. I'll call you in a few days."
Jack moved in front of her and gripped her by the waist. Lacey thought maybe he was going to kiss her, but instead he lifted her down from the kitchen island as impersonally as possible. Like he was helping his grandma or a stranger. Not the woman he had been naked with just minutes before.
"Yeah. You do that," he said, sounding like he didn't give a damn if she called or not. He looked a his large silver watch. "So, we're done here then?"
Lacey's mouth dropped open even further. "Yeah. We're done. You go ahead. I'll get myself together and follow in a few minutes."
"Good deal. And would you mind cleaning up a little? The counter, I mean." He gestured towards some polish and paper towel on the kitchen counter. "Selena is showing the place in two days, and a butt imprint on the granite will be hard to explain to any prospective buyers."
He wanted her to stay and clean her butt print off the precious granite? Lacey nearly shrieked at him as he turned towards the front door and let himself out with a casual wave. Fighting the impulse to throw his stupid clipboard after him, she restrained herself. She had asked for this in a way. Finding out about his past certainly proved that she didn't know him at all. Maybe this jerk who left her standing here with the sweat barely dry on her body was the real Jack. If that was the case then she had made a huge error in judgment. Or the man she was falling for was more damaged than she knew how to deal with. Either way, she needed to decide what to do next. At this moment, as she tried to muster her dignity, it really didn't seem worth the risk. Boring suddenly seemed very, very appealing.
Chapter Seven
Two days later Lacey was once again walking up the front path to her new cottage. It didn't seem real to her that this was her place. She felt an enormous amount of pride when she looked at its red brick exterior and yet it hadn't actually sunk in quite yet that she belonged here. Partly because she couldn't actually move in until Serena was finished using it as a Presentation Center. But as soon as the six similar units currently being built two blocks over were sold, the cottage was all hers.
Today it felt bittersweet approaching the front porch. The last time she'd been here, Jack had been sitting on the step, waiting for her with a big, welcoming smile and warmth in his eyes. Seeing him there, she had momentarily fantasized about coming home to him everyday. Like they were a real couple instead of some undefined mystery relationship. Right now it seemed like he would never look at her like that again.