"I still can't believe you had sex for the first time here. Not even in a bed? You guys were serious when you said you were waiting until after the cottage was done, weren't you? I think the last coat of paint is still drying. Damn. Who knew old Jack had it in him? Or in this case, in you."
"Serena, focus. Do you think Jack is using my reaction to his past as an excuse because he doesn't want me anymore."
"Absolutely not. Jack's not like that. If he just wanted sex, he could have gotten it any number of places while you guys were stupidly abstaining from jumping each other's bones. And he didn't. He wouldn't. Even with Deborah, he was as faithful as a neutered beaten dog. Probably not the best metaphor in this case, but you get the point."
"Okay then, but what's with the deep freeze?. He looked right through me when he left here the other day. The timing makes it seem like he got what he wanted and now I've given him the perfect alibi to move on."
"Lacey. That's ridiculous. Jack built you a house. He took a huge financial hit on all the extras he put in. Why would he do that if he was just looking to bang you and move on? Jack doesn't need to do that to get laid. Any one of my friends would take him for a ride for free, believe me." Serena paused and rubbed her stomach. "And just for the record, talking about my cousin's sex life is making me a little queasy."
"I know. I'm sorry. I should be dealing with him directly. But I really don't think he'll talk about this with me. He isn't big on the whole communication thing."
"And can you live with that?" Serena asked, suddenly very serious.
"I don't know. If this is going to turn into something other than a fling, we're going to have to talk about something other than how much we want each other, right?"
"Well, Hell, that sounds like a pretty good start to me. Better than a lot of people have, don't you think?"
"God. I hope not. How depressing. But I can't help but think that we're supposed to confront his feelings about his wife's death, and how awful their relationship was in order to move past it. Isn't that what we're supposed to do? I'm sure Oprah would agree, don't you think?"
Serena whistled. "You mean, he actually talked about how it was with her? The way she treated him?"
Lacey nodded. "He said she never wanted him and that he disappointed her every day of their marriage. And he called her a bitch right before the accident happened."
"Wow. That's total disclosure for Jack. You have no idea. And I had no clue about the bitch thing. Though she was a world class one."
"Did you know her very well?"
"I don't think anyone knew Deborah really well. Including Jack, and they were married for nine very long years. She wasn't exactly an open book. But, yeah. I knew her."
"I feel like I'm prying. This is such a hot button topic with Jack, I don't want to upset him by asking about her. But I'm really curious. What was the problem between them, do you think? I mean, besides her being gay."
"Holy shit. He really did tell you everything then. Jack never said a word about her being into chicks. No one even knew about that until her girlfriend showed up at the funeral, all distraught and blaming him. It was a very ugly scene. Like out of some soap opera. But Jack was completely cool about it. Everyone was really impressed, until it became obvious that he was able to stay so calm because he was completely shut down. All normal human reactions were just gone. No emotions. Just a void where Jack used to be."
"That's kind of how he was when he left here the other day. So cold and distant."
"Yeah. That does seem to be his go-to move now. It wasn't always. He used to be really warm and even sweet. So, I think he'll snap out of it and be ready to kiss and make-up in no time. He was showing such promising signs of humanity when you were around. Given the circumstances, I guess he was bound to have a relapse. I'd hate to see him give up so easily. But are you sure you're up to this? I mean, if you're uncertain then it's really better if you get out now. Jack's been through enough already without being with another woman who isn't really into him."
"Was that how it was? She married someone she wasn't attracted to, so she made his life hell? Why not just leave? I don't get it."
Serena sighed. "It's a mystery. But I gather that she came from a very conservative, upscale family, who expected her to marry some tight ass and live a very traditional, boring life. I think she met Jack when she was in some kind of rebellious phase because her family was horrified that she chose a man who works with his hands for a living. No one from her side even came to the wedding. It was awful."
"Okay, so clearly they made a mistake. Why didn't Jack get out?"
"Good question. Probably because he thought he could make it work. He's incredibly stubborn and loves a challenge more than anything. His dad was really hard on him, so proving people wrong just motivates him. And everyone was always telling him that Deborah wasn't right for him. I think that just aggravated the situation. Plus, I think he felt sorry for her. Her family had pretty much disowned her, and she didn't have a lot of friends. She'd be almost totally alone in the world if he abandoned her."
"So, you don't think he loved her?"
Serena looked down at her folded hands for a moment and contemplated Lacey's question. "I really don't know. He never said a bad word about her, and would defend her if anyone criticized her, but love? I don't think so. He certainly cared for her and wanted to make her happy, but I can't say I ever saw any real affection or heat between them. Not even in the beginning."
"Wow. That's so sad. I can't imagine Jack being content with that."
"Hey, no one knows what goes on in a marriage except the two people involved. But I can safely say that he really tried to make it work. Look at that house he built her."
"The white one out in the woods?"
"Yup. That was a fifth anniversary present for her. As a surprise. And she hated it."
"Hated it? How could she hate it. It's gorgeous. At least from the outside."
"But, you see, it's in the middle of nowhere. She scoffed at it when he showed it to her. Called it a cabin, despite the fact that it's a bloody mansion. She hated being around his family, so he built their home as far away as possible. And she hated that too. Now, he's stuck with it."
"Couldn't he sell it?"
"I don't know. Maybe. There must be someone else out there who would like to live in a mausoleum. Count Dracula, perhaps?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's white from top to bottom. And filled with marble and tile. I imagine it would be like living in the world's nicest igloo. Deborah had a lot of allergies, so wood floors and carpet weren't possible. That icehouse was customized, just for her, and she mocked him for it."
"Surely Jack could renovate it and unload it."
"Yeah. But that would mean having to walk through that front door and I don't think he's done that since the funeral."
"What? Where has he been living?"
"Well, now that I picked out some furniture for him he lives in the cottage behind that house. But until four months ago, he was pretty much homeless. Just camping on couches for months on end. Pretty weird for a guy who builds homes for a living."
"I had no idea."
"How could you? It's not exactly typical.And I don't want you to think I'm gossiping about him. I'm telling you this stuff, so maybe you'll understand how bad it was with him and understand if he retreats occasionally and acts like a complete dick-wad. For awhile it looked like he wasn't going to bounce back, and then you walked into that Open House, and it was like my cousin was back. Just like that." Selena snapped her fingers to demonstrate.
"I don't understand. Why me? Women must throw themselves at him all the time."
"Who knows? Maybe you just came along at the right time. Or your chemistry was just right. Or perhaps fate or whatever brought you together because you're meant to be. Regardless, what do you want? And how are you going to fix whatever has gone off the rails with Jay? And do you want to fix it?"