“Rana,” he said, stepping into the room.
“How did you get in here?” Desai asked, reaching up to wipe her eyes.
Fisher cocked his head toward the door. “Emergency medical override. One of the benefits of being the head doctor around here.”
Not in the mood for Fisher’s laidback banter, Desai pulled herself from the sofa. “I want to be left alone, Fish.”
“I can understand that,” the doctor replied, standing just far enough inside the room so that the door slid closed behind him. “I just wanted to see how you were holding up.”
“Holding up?” Desai nearly spat the words. Then, realizing that her friend meant well, she reined in her follow-up response and paused, drawing a heavy breath and slowly releasing it, working to bring herself under some semblance of control. “I honestly don’t know.” Shaking her head, she moved toward the small kitchenette in one corner.
Fisher shrugged, stepping toward her. “That’s normal.”
Sighing, Desai turned to look at him, for the first time noting the dark circles under his eyes and the unmistakable look of sadness clouding his features.
He knew Diego longer than you did, after all.
A sudden wave of guilt washed over her. Ashamed at her selfishness, Desai felt new tears welling up in her eyes. “Oh, God, Fish, I’m so sorry.” She reached out for him, pulling him to her and burying her head in his shoulder. She felt the older man’s arms wrap around her, one hand resting gently at the back of her head. Fisher said nothing, standing in silence as she began to cry all over again.
Pulling away from him, she wiped tears from her eyes. “Have you heard anything new?”
Fisher frowned, shaking his head. “No. They’ve sent the Endeavourto investigate, but it’ll be a while before they know anything.” He paused before adding, “If ever.”
“But they’re certain it was pirates?” she asked, stepping away from him and reaching for the glass of water she had left on the kitchenette counter. “Not the Klingons or even the Tholians?” Admiral Nogura had already told her as much, but without anything in the way of hard evidence, she was unwilling to rule out any possibility.
“Nogura told me the same thing he told you,” the doctor replied. “The ship that discovered the wreckage found no indications of Tholian or Klingon weaponry. The Tholians have denied any involvement, and you know that if the Klingons had anything to do with it, there’s no way they’re staying quiet.”
Taking a sip of water, Desai was forced to agree with Fisher’s reasoning. The Klingons had put a price on Reyes’s head, but that was for a live capture in order for him to be judged by what passed for their court system. From what little information she had been able to find about the empire’s judicial practices—drawn from the logs of a Starfleet captain who had faced trial, conviction, and sentencing at the hands of a Klingon court more than a century earlier—Reyes might well have been spared a worse fate.
Small favors and all that.
Fisher moved toward the counter and the carafe of water. He reached for another glass and paused as his eyes fell across another data slate she had left sitting near one corner. The contents on its screen were legible even from where she stood, so she knew the doctor also could read them. He looked up at her, frowning.
“You’re resigning?”
Shrugging, Desai replied, “I was considering it.” She took another sip of water. “It was an option for being able to continue acting as Diego’s lawyer while he served his sentence and we pursued the appeals process. I’d already placed a request to Starfleet Command for a change of duty to one of the JAG offices on Earth or at least somewhere in the Sol sector.” She had wanted an assignment that would put her near him, for professional as well as obvious personal reasons. “From what I’ve heard, such assignments are hard to come by, so I started researching civilian law firms.” She had found one candidate in particular that held an appeal, a small, one-man operation based in Los Angeles on Earth. The lawyer apparently specialized in Starfleet as well as civilian law, having successfully represented the captain of the U.S.S. Enterpriseduring his recent court-martial. Though the lawyer appeared unwilling to take on a partner, Desai had figured there was nothing to be lost by sending a query and gauging his interest.
Fisher released a small chuckle. “You? Come on, Rana. We both know you’ve got Starfleet in your blood. You might be a lawyer, but you’re just as much an explorer as any ship jockey flying off to unknown worlds. Didn’t you say you wanted to make good law rather than just serve it? You can’t do that from an office on Earth.”
“It wasn’t about any of that,” Desai snapped, regretting the force of her words as soon as she spoke them. Offering an expression that she hoped would communicate her apology to her friend, she said, “I just wanted to help Diego, any way that I could. If that meant resigning from Starfleet, then to hell with it. I…” She stopped, blowing out a resigned, tired breath. “I just wanted to be with him, Fish. If he was going to have to go through that, I wanted to be there with him.” Casting a dismissive wave toward the all-but-forgotten data slate, she shook her head. “Not that it matters anymore.”
Leaning against the counter, Fisher regarded her with that familiar paternal glint in his eyes. “So, what are you thinking of doing now?”
Desai groaned in exasperation. This was not a conversation she wanted to be having at this moment. “God, Fish, I really don’t know.” She waved a hand in the air to indicate her surroundings. “Are we just supposed to go on with our lives out here like nothing happened? Continue keeping the secrets and the lies that brought us here in the first place?” How many lives had been lost? The crew of the Bombay.Those who had died on Erilon and Jinoteur IV, to say nothing of Gamma Tauri IV. Uncounted Klingons and Tholians, as well as innocents on other planets throughout the region. Ming Xiong. Diego Reyes. The list was far too long already and would likely only grow in the coming days, weeks, and months. No matter how well intentioned the cause had been, many, if not most, perhaps even all, of those who had perished had done so in service to a lie. Perhaps Diego’s court-martial had served to make more people aware of the tremendous cost that had been exacted out here, and maybe things could change for the better. It was even possible that Desai herself might find some way to continue contributing to the ongoing effort.
“Rana,” Fisher said after a moment, “if anything good is coming from all of this, it has to be that Diego opened a lot of people’s eyes about what’s going on out here. He may have broken Starfleet regulations, but you and I both know that what he did neededto be done. If what he did gets us to step back and reexamine those lofty ideals we’re supposed to hold in such high esteem—gets us to take a long, hard look at ourselves and just what the hell we’re doing—then it won’t be a wasted effort.”
He placed his hand on her arm. “But for that to happen all the way out here, out of sight and potentially out of mind, it’s going to take good people who know the truth to stick with it. Why do you think he let you in on the big secret in the first place? He wanted people he could trust to do the right thing watching his back.”
Though Desai had not agreed with everything Reyes told her when he revealed to her the secret mission to which he and Starbase 47 had been assigned, she knew that he had confided in her so that she might ride herd on his conscience. She had done her best to do just that, despite knowing that there were some secrets he would not share with her. Those came later, of course, after he had taken the actions that had led to his removal from service and…
Enough.
“I don’t know, Fish,” she said, feeling the pit of emptiness once again within her.
She felt Fisher’s hand on her arm, his grip firm and comforting. “Besides, regardless of what happens with the Shedai, or even the Klingons and the Tholians, the fact is that the Federation is pushing out this way. More colonies, more trade routes, a larger Starfleet presence. They’re going to need some good law and good lawyers to help make it.” He smiled again. “Diego would want you doing what you love, you know.”