“You’ve been planning, haven’t you? Why not you then? Or Julie?”
“Because Jay has been groomed for this his whole life. You have no idea what it’s like.”
“I don’t, no. But I’m making my way. Because no one at my place of employment found it necessary to attempt to keep me on. You need to remember that, because I sure as hell do.”
“You said you wanted to make a point by leaving. We tried to back you up. You can’t have it both ways.” Her favorite thing about Shawn was that he never let her get past him with an argument he thought was fast and loose. It had always meant to her that he believed her capable of backing up her choices.
“I’m not talking about you and Julie. I left. That’s the way I’m trying to have it. That way I can make my own mistakes and fix them. That way I can look at myself in the mirror each morning and know my boss thinks I’m worthy. I left. I thought it would make a difference. I was wrong.” She shrugged.
“You’re just going to quit your plan? Along with quitting your job.”
She’d missed this sibling back-and-forth with Shawn. “Nope. I quit my old job because Colman sells tires and that’s all they want to do. You’re all great at it, but that’s not what I want to do. My job now is awesome. My plan was to be relevant to this industry. It was to broaden our appeal and serve more customers than Colman did at that time. I’d hoped it would make a difference with Dad, yes. I’ve sent him my receipts for the last three months. I’ve forwarded him articles and pieces about what I’m doing. He hasn’t replied. My plan didn’t work the way I hoped it would. I wanted to come back. I wanted a place at Colman I’d helped build. But I can’t do either of those things because I don’t have the ear of anyone with a vote. So you can sit here and make it my fault that our brother won’t stand up, or that our father is useless and would rather drink too much and play golf than let his children build for the future. But we both know the truth.”
“I don’t want you to give up because it’s hard. It is hard. And I’m sorry you’re the one who has to bear the weight of this. But if you walk off, it weakens us.”
PJ threw her hands up, frustrated. “Then why wasn’t this presented to me weeks ago? Why didn’t anyone else bring it up? I’ve got to be the one to get punched in the face again because why? How does my leaving weaken you anyway? Shawn, has it not occurred to you that they don’t want me back? That my leaving is exactly what they wanted?” She couldn’t stop the crack in her voice and he softened his tone in response.
“What about our feelings? What about what Julie, Jay, and I think? We want you back.”
“I’m still your sister. I love you and Julie and Jay. I just referred someone to you for tires this week, as it happens. But sometimes you need to let go so you can truly be better. I respect myself. The people I work with respect me. That means everything. I’ll meet with you guys if you can actually make it happen, but it’s going to take a lot more than I originally thought it would to get me back there. I’m not sure at this point if there is anything that could bring me to Colman again.”
She couldn’t make her father see her for the amazing person she was. She couldn’t. But she could make every person who ever hired her know she was capable of really good work.
Chapter Twenty
She came to the door looking so pretty he paused to just take a long look. This was his. It had long ceased to matter how she’d ended up in his life, only that she remained there.
He bent to kiss her.
“You look very handsome,” she said, smoothing a palm down his shirtfront.
“Ha. I’m nothing compared to you. Do you want to stop for a drink before we go to the restaurant?” Asa asked.
Worry flashed across PJ’s features. “Do you? I think it’ll be fine. My mom is excited to meet you in person. Julie likes you. Shawn will because he’s easy that way. Jay, well, who knows? But you’ve met him.”
“Darlin’, I’m fine. We’ll be all right. I just hate seeing you stressed. Are you worried? Do you want me to take the piercing out?”
The outrage and surprise on her features made him feel a lot better. “You’d better not! You’re who you are. A successful businessman. You own your own home. You take care of your mother and sisters. Plus that piercing is hot and as much a part of you as the color of your eyes.”
He grinned, bending to kiss her. She defended him so ardently, even when he knew she was stressed out about dealing with her family.
“So beautiful. How’d I get so lucky?”
“I honestly don’t know. You fought me so hard I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever come to your senses.”
Laughing, he pulled her close. “I’m not always the smartest person. My mom says I need to live up to my potential. But you kept at it and thank god I finally listened.”
“And now you get to eat dinner with my family. Lucky you. I’m going to warn you up front, my mother might use terms like ‘in-laws’ and ‘marriage.’ Just ignore her.”
He remembered that he’d never told her about Ellen. Shit shit shit. It’d been weeks since that night PJ and Ellen had met. First he’d been waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up, and then he’d forgotten about it entirely.
He thought about it long enough that she noticed, giving him a look that said he needed to spill.
“I need to tell you something.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her gaze. “That’s worrisome.”
Even at a time like this she could make him laugh with her attitude. Still, he made sure to show none of that on his face.
“You know Ellen?” He could charm his way back into PJ’s good graces. He just needed to get it out and tell her everything first.
“From the restaurant on fight night? Oh, are you going to tell me you and she had a thing sometime in the past? ’Cause duh.”
If only he could hang it on that. “I was married. She was married. I mean, we were married to each other.”
The amused smirk slid off her face. “You and Ellen were married and you’re just telling me right now? Weeks after I met her? Months after we started seeing one another?”
“It was a long time ago. Seven years. It only lasted six months.”
She shook her head, clearly upset. “That whole night! Everyone knew? Everyone but me.”
This wasn’t going the way he’d hoped. She wasn’t mad, she was hurt.
“It wasn’t like that. I was going to tell you that night but it was weird and then there was that whole thing with the douchebag at the bar. We got back to my house and then we had sex. A lot of it, so it’s not like I was going to bring it up. Then I forgot because it wasn’t important. That’s why we got divorced. Neither of us cared enough to stick it out.”
“Asa, this is not okay.”
“I didn’t purposely hide it from you.”
“Oh, but you did. You did, and you made that choice for me. Your sister, she started to talk about your father and I stopped her because I wanted you to share with me when you chose. I respected your right to do that. This, though?” PJ blew out a breath. “Why’d you get married to start with?”
“Stupidity. She thought she was pregnant, so I wanted to do the right thing. She didn’t really want to get married, but she wanted to do the right thing too, and then she wasn’t pregnant and it was awful. We were a bad fit from the start.” It had been a tubal pregnancy, so by the time Ellen had gone through that they just didn’t have any real foundation to build on and they’d broken it off.
“So bad she knows how you like your sushi and comes to dinner?”
“Are you jealous?” In hindsight, this line would have been better delivered with another tone. But he was so amused and flattered it showed right through, and she wasn’t nearly as amused by the sentiment as he was.