“This is the part where I’m not laughing or making jokes. Do you see this part? Do you know how the chapter ends?” PJ asked.
This anger was different. He knew it to his toes. “I was lightening the mood. It was a failure. I apologize.”
Her look told him how little she was moved by his declaration. “How would you feel if the tables were turned? If we were at dinner with my friends and then we chitchatted with some guy for hours and then weeks later I was all, ‘Oh hey, that guy is my ex-husband. No big!’ ”
“I did not say it like that!”
“You didn’t say it at all!” PJ said in a quiet voice so sharp it sliced to the bone.
He sucked in a breath. “Okay. I’m sorry. You’re right. It was stupid not to tell you way before now. But it was something I did, something really dumb, and it happened a long time ago. What this is” – he waved a hand between them – “is not even in the same universe. I was married to her and she never knew me the way you know me. I didn’t think about her the way I think about you. I won’t say it meant nothing, because that would be shitty to her. And she’s not a bad person. We didn’t split because of anything horrible. Which makes me sad because it feels like a bigger failure that I never loved her and married her anyway.”
She glared at him, stepping away to pace a bit.
Finally she turned back. “We need to leave for dinner. Being late will only mean lots of drama and upset.”
“Are we okay?”
“Enough to go to dinner. Hopefully later we will be. Being lied to is a problem for me. I don’t like it and I won’t tolerate it. When people lie to me they’re telling me I’m not worth the truth. If there’s something else this big you need to disclose it right now. No kids, right? Other wives?”
He chanced getting close enough to hug her. “No kids. No other wives. She does really like you, though. Which weirds me out because she doesn’t really like anyone. But you’re irresistible, so I won’t even say anything about you sleeping with Craig, and he’s been at several events you and I have been to since we started dating.”
Wow, that was a mistake to have said out loud.
She stepped back. “How is it you don’t know when to stop speaking, Asa? That sentence should have ended with me being irresistible. So explain to me how you won’t say anything about me sleeping with Craig? Craig Salazar?”
Uh-oh.
“Naturally I’m assuming that stopped when you and I started in seriously.”
She blinked at him, so utterly incredulous he felt like kicking his toe in the dirt and hanging his head.
Finally she spoke. “I never slept with Craig. We’ve made out on several occasions. Usually when one or the other of us breaks up and the other is free. Kissing. That’s it. No canes and floggers. No orgasms. His dick hasn’t even been in my hand, much less in my mouth or body. He’s my friend. He cares about me, but he is stone cold in love with someone else. Only she doesn’t feel the same.”
He started to speak and she put a hand up to stay him.
“Furthermore, if I had fucked him inside out in the middle of the street every third Tuesday, it still wouldn’t matter. I don’t care that you slept with other women. I knew you weren’t a virgin when I came along. I don’t want to hear about who you had sex with. It doesn’t matter because you’re with me now. This is about the fact that you had been married and you never shared that with me. Don’t muddy the waters with this Craig stuff.”
He paused, really thinking about what she’d said and realizing the huge missteps he’d taken. “I don’t know how to do this right. I’m feeling my way along. I should have told you earlier on and most definitely that night you met her. I really am going to have to buy out the entire Godiva store to make up for my fuckups today, huh? Maybe some paint or a trip to Vancouver for the weekend where I’ll keep you pleasured until you forgive me. Yes, the latter. I vote for that.”
She sighed and tiptoed up to kiss him. “Caramels. Try Fran’s. I like that better than Godiva, though if you go that way, nuts and chews, please.” She opened her door and gave him a look over her shoulder. “And yes to Vancouver.”
Hot damn. Weekend-in-a-luxury-hotel sex was something he’d been wanting with PJ for some time.
He put a hand at her elbow as they went down the steps. He hefted her overnight bag, not caring that it was heavy. Just pleased it meant she’d be in his bed that night.
After he finished an epic grovel. He knew that was necessary too. He’d hurt her trust in him. That was a problem he needed to fix.
He hit the remote and popped the trunk and PJ came to a stop. “One of those few other cars?”
He put her bag in the trunk of the BMW 7 Series crouched at the curb. “It is indeed.” He loved the car. Smooth and powerful, he loved to road trip in it. He bet PJ was really fun on a road trip.
It also was safe, and if he couldn’t surround her in all that steel of Motor City’s glory days like the Caddy, he’d happily surround her in the finest German engineering.
Plus, it was an impressive fucking car. He knew enough about PJ to understand that the kind of guy she brought home to her family before didn’t have a pierced cock. They’d be suspicious of him from go. So he’d keep in his piercing in his nose, but he wore nice clothes, drove an awesome car, and he cared about PJ.
If that didn’t matter to them, they didn’t care about PJ very much. So he hoped they’d all get along for her sake if for no other reason.
He followed her directions and then settled back into the seat and drove, just enjoying the time with her.
“This car is so quiet. It’s like you can’t tell an engine is running but for that purr beneath your feet.”
“After driving the Caddy it’s an adjustment, but she’s so smooth, it’s like really good scotch. And way easier to fit into a parking spot at a restaurant.”
“Ha. And yet you do it. You parallel park in a car that’s half a block long. It’s your superpower. Well” – her voice changed, going low – “you have a few other superpowers, but that’s one you can do in public.”
He wanted to ask if she was all right, but it was clear she was a little tense and he figured asking would only make it worse. He let her lead with how much she wanted to talk.
She seemed in good enough humor and hopefully in a forgiving mood as they parked, and he sent out a prayer that her family wouldn’t upset her. And that he’d be a good guy and not make anything worse.
It was a warm night with a light breeze; the sun wouldn’t go down until after nine, but it was one of those Seattle summer nights when it was twilight for hours.
He put an arm around her, pulling her close as they walked across the street together and headed into the restaurant.
Once inside, they were led to a table where her entire family waited. She and Asa weren’t late. She’d gotten them there fifteen minutes early, even with the thing she and Asa had had at her place.
She should have known they would have been there twenty minutes early just to make her feel bad even when she hadn’t done anything wrong.
Julie grinned up at them, standing and heading over to hug her and smile at Asa. She held them in place, speaking quietly. “You’re early. Shawn and I bet Jay fifty bucks. He said you’d be ten minutes early. I said fifteen, so I win. Shawn said twenty.”
“How early were you?”
“I got here three minutes ago. Shawn and Jay only just put napkins on their laps when you two walked in, so don’t let them make you think they were here yesterday at dawn or something.”
PJ cringed inwardly. This weird family stuff must seem so strange to Asa. It was pretty embarrassing when she thought about how it must look from the outside. Then again, he’d totally kept an entire marriage from her and she was still annoyed.