Although she had no idea what was happening, she did know that she was not receiving a normal spanking at the hands of her uncle. Spankings were meant to be a punishment; instead, Sally was receiving pleasure. Already she was being introduced to perversion by a sexually pathological male. After being aroused herself by the spankings, she would wait until her uncle left her alone in her room and also proceed to masturbate, digitally manipulating her developing clitoris.
By her own admission, it was at the age of twelve that she first discovered the male counterpart to her vagina, her uncle's penis. Old enough to be aware of the sexual differences between a man and a woman, and spurred on by the feeling of his erection pressing against her vagina during one of his spankings, Sally started watching her uncle masturbate in his room after administering the punishment.
The sight of his erect penis in his hand so excited her that she found herself masturbating again and again, and dwelling mentally on his penis. She was excited by it and she wanted to see it more. It was during this time she first imagined taking the organ in her mouth.
In regards to her wanting to take the penis into her mouth, the psychological overtones are many and varied. At her age then, the subject was aware of "how babies are made" and the involvement of the penis in the act of procreation. It must also be remembered that the subject was bitter about her own birth, about being abandoned, about being an unwanted child by her parents. In her mind, she reasoned that if it wasn't for the penis, she would not be on earth living the life that she was. Another factor could be an unconscious wish to castrate, on her part, and through the act receive the penis which she was denied.
In his book Oral Love Making, Dr. Andre X. Borandeux, M.D., says in regard to this castration wish of girls:
Perhaps in extreme cases it is the subconscious urge to castrate, derived from the first childhood experience when the female became aware that the male has an appendage with which she is not equipped. Frequently when small girls discover that there is a difference between the male and female organs, they feel jealous, slighted by nature or perhaps even fantasy that something has happened to "theirs." With the bulk of an erect phallus in her mouth, the female possibly subconsciously realizes that it is in her power to bite it, or perhaps sever it with her teeth. She also might feel
that by taking the organ in her mouth, she is "taking it from him," hiding it, depriving him of it, at least temporarily.
That would appear to be plausible in this case. With the bitter resentment that the subject feels towards males it could be her desire, by performing fellatio, to "take the penis from the male" and thereby remove the object that is responsible for her being. The fact that the male is receiving pleasure from her attentions is beside the point.
Another motivating factor that would appear to have some bearing on this case is the fact that the erect penis could resemble a huge nipple to the subject. By taking it into her mouth and sucking it, as a baby does its mother's breast, she could possibly be emotionally obtaining the attention and maternal care that she did not have as a child. This, too, would seem plausible, explaining the voraciousness with which she, literally, attacks the male penis.
Although she did later discover sexual intercourse with penile insertion into her vagina, it was still fellatio that held the main attraction, being an answer to her subconscious needs.
As the subject states at the beginning of her narrative, perhaps it would have been better if she were placed in a foster home or an orphanage. This is true. If she had been raised in an atmosphere that was sexually healthy, her preoccupation with oral copulation and her early initiation into heterosexual intercourse would not have come about and she would have grown sexually normal, despite her unfortunate beginning. Again, this is only speculation and, things being the way they are, she may have grown up in an identical manner to the way she did. However, at least she would have had a chance.
Since she continued to live with her uncle and his perversions, the subject was soon introduced to a number of sexual deviations, to include, lesbianism, voyeurism, and exhibitionism, all of which will come out later in the narrative.
It was noted that the subject did not suffer from any anxieties or guilt feelings that are sometimes common with the occurrence of incest, which was possibly why the subject rejected any thoughts of psychotherapy.
An explanation for this could be found in the book Sexual Behavior and the Law where Maurice J, Barry states:
We studied (directly and in literature) many cases of father-daughter incest with variations in the age of the daughter from a small child to a young woman. Some of these daughters displayed little or no anxiety; others manifested severe neurosis, perversions, promiscuity and psychoses. In those instances of father-daughter incest in which no anxiety was displayed by the daughter, it was found that the father manifested no sense of guilt and the mother was either collusive or indifferent. In
those cases in which both partners in the consummated incest felt great anxiety and guilt, it was found that the mother was not permissive.
So it was with the subject and her uncle, he being like her father and displaying no guilt for their acts. And instead of there being a permissive, collusive, indifferent mother present, there was no mother. It was an ideal situation for an incestual relationship without guilt and anxiety suffered by either party involved.
However, it should be remembered that while the subject was suffering no feelings of anxiety for her actions, she was indeed suffering from subconscious desires that forced her addiction to fellatio and indicated psychotherapy was necessary.
We can now return to the subject's narrative:
"I watched, my eyes wide with excitement, my boobs heaving on my chest as Bill quickly stripped out of his clothes- His cock was hard as a rock, standing straight out from his body. His balls were hanging heavily below the base of his prick.
"He walked toward the bed, his cock bouncing obscenely with every move, and laid down beside me. I put my arms around his neck and pressed my open mouth to his. Our tongues came together in a flurry of activity. I was moaning with passion as we kissed. Reaching down his body, I grasped the throbbing length of his cock in my hand and slowly rubbed it up and down. At the same time, he was busy sliding a finger inside my cunt, stirring up all my juices until my gash was drenched and sopping.
"I was so hot, I felt as if I were on fire. Slowly, I began to move down his body, my tongue lapping at his flesh, moving in hot, wet circles across his throat and down his stomach. I could feel his belly tightening as my mouth neared his prick.
"I was licking through his patch of pubic hair, the smell of his cock reaching my nose, exciting my senses. I heard him moan as my tongue came in contact with the shaft of his prick. His ass ground against the softness of the mattress.
"'Oh, shit Sally, lick it. Lick my cock for me. God, it feels so good!'
"I smiled up at him. 'Don't worry,' I said, 'I'll do more than lick your dick. I'm going to suck every fucking inch of it into my mouth until your -nuts feel like exploding.'
"I continued licking up and down the shaft of his cock, swirling my tongue around the head every time I went up, until he was almost… no, he was begging me to suck it inside. It was then that I opened my mouth and sucked the head of his cock inside. Bill groaned, deep in his throat. I could imagine the pleasure he was feeling at the moment.
"'Deeper, baby, take it deeper. Suck my cock all the way in. Fill your mouth with my cock baby. Ohhhhh, baaaaaba, yeah, suck me Sally, suck my prick. Mmmmmmm.'
"Bill was really squirming on the bed now. I had managed, somehow, to take most all of his cock inside my mouth, his pubic hairs tickling my lips and chin. I sucked him for a few more minutes-and then it was time to fuck.