Odin tried to lift his head, but he couldn’t do it on his own. With effort, I pulled him up against my chest and looked down into his soft, brown eyes. He reached out with his tongue and lapped at the side of my face.
“That’s disgusting,” I whispered as my voice cracked.
Odin snuffed at my neck, let out a long sigh, and was still.
“No…no, Odin! No! Don’t…don’t…”
I squeezed my eyes shut and held his head against my body as I shook and tried to hold in the scream I wanted to let out.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t part of the plan—the vision. Odin was a part of all of it. He was supposed to come away with us.
Us.
“Lia!” I screamed again, but I knew there wasn’t going to be an answer. I lowered Odin’s head gently to the floor and checked the rest of the apartment, but there was no sign of her. I did find the assault rifle Gavino had given me months ago, so whoever it was obviously was not looking for weapons. I went back to Odin’s side and pulled his head into my lap again.
I was frozen, shaking, and completely unable to think or move or act.
I had no idea how long I sat there and just held him. Nothing else around me even registered as his body cooled beside me. I knew I needed to move—I had to find Lia—but I couldn’t.
All of this was my fault.
Odin had been the only constant in my life since I left the convent. He was with me through sniper school and every assignment I was given all over the country. Even when I was deployed, he was cared for by volunteers at the base in Virginia, waiting for me to return.
Without him, I would have been completely alone.
No matter what I might have done, he was always there waiting for me when I got home. He didn’t judge, and he was never afraid of me. When I was too lost in thought, he would always be there to bring me out of it. He was always, always there when I needed him. He was my companion and my friend.
“He’s gone.” My voice echoed around the empty room.
With my eyes closed, I leaned over to place my forehead against his. For a moment, I thought he moved, but I realized it was just my own body shaking. I tried to tighten my muscles to make the trembling stop, but it didn’t work. I took a long breath, and when I glanced up, someone was standing in front of me.
The kid with the bombs strapped to him.
He was closer to me now than I had ever seen him in the past. On his face, I could clearly see the path of every tear, and on his clothing, every grain of sand. There were wires sticking out from under his shirt and leading up to his hand, which was wrapped firmly around a detonator.
“What do you want?” I cried at him. “I can’t take it back! I can’t fix it! You’re dead, and now he’s dead, and I can’t fix any of that shit! What the fuck do you want from me?”
He continued to stare at me with dark, sorrowful eyes. I couldn’t look away from him—all I could do was stare back and ask inane questions of a ghost from my past. His eyes drifted to Odin and then back to mine.
“Is…is she gone, too? Did you see her here? Did he kill her?”
He didn’t respond.
“She’s…she’s all I have left. If something happened to her…if that guy killed her…nothing else will fucking matter anymore!”
His head slowly shook from side to side.
“Why are you here?” I screamed at him.
He blinked several times, and his mouth opened.
“Don’t you see it?” I knew the voice was my own. Even though it appeared as if the kid was talking, I still knew it was me. As soon as I heard the words, I knew what he meant.
“Lia’s like you,” I whispered.
“I didn’t want to be there,” the kid said in my voice. “Forced into a war I didn’t want any part of and didn’t understand. I followed because I was told to follow. I didn’t understand what was happening.”
One of his hands moved down and rested against the shape of the explosives wrapped around his waist.
“I killed you.” My hands were still shaking, and I tried to hang onto Odin’s body to make them stop, but it didn’t help. The rest of me was shaking hard enough to shake his body as well.
“She’s the same.”
“I didn’t make her come here,” I said as I rapidly shook my head. “She…she wanted to…to be here…”
“She wanted you. She didn’t understand the consequences. How could she?”
“But I told her everything!”
He didn’t have anything to say about that, only looked at me pointedly.
“Did I kill her, too?”
He didn’t answer.
I stood up and pointed the Beretta in his face.
“Did she fucking die here because of me?” I screamed at him.
He didn’t have any more words, so I shot him.
The noise echoed through the apartment, and the bullet blasted a hole in the wall of the bedroom. I shot three more times, and the kid slowly faded away into nothingness.
Dropping to my knees, I took Odin’s head in my hands one more time.
“I’m sorry, buddy…so fucking sorry…”
I squeezed my eyes shut, told myself to get a fucking grip, and pushed away from him. I stumbled out of the bedroom, holstered my Beretta, grabbed my SIG and the assault rifle, and ran back outside to Rinaldo’s car. I broke every traffic rule in existence to get to Rinaldo’s office in just a few minutes.
“She’s gone,” I said as soon as I walked in. “I went to the apartment, and she’s not there.”
Rinaldo’s eyes tightened, and he glanced around at the other men in the room before looking back to me.
“I was afraid of that,” Rinaldo said with a nod. “He’s not answering my calls, either. I sent him a message that the hit was called off, but he didn’t reply. Where the hell is your shirt?”
I glanced down at my bare chest for a second before I looked back to Rinaldo. I should have been cold, but I didn’t feel anything.
“Soaked in my dog’s blood,” I replied. “He killed Odin.”
Rinaldo’s eyes closed briefly, and he shook his head. His throat bobbed before he spoke again.
“I’m sorry about that.”
“Davies knew where we were living.”
“That’s what I was trying to tell you before all hell broke loose,” Rinaldo said. “Davies went to get her—said he knew right where she was but didn’t tell me how. He’s a new guy, and I honestly thought he was bluffing, but if she’s gone, he almost certainly has her.”
“Is she already dead?” I didn’t want the answer to the question, but I had to ask.
“I don’t know,” he responded. “I would think if she was, he’d tell me so I could pay him for the job. I don’t know if that counts as hope or anything, but it’s a start.”
I flinched.
“Where would he be?”
“At the warehouse, mostly likely. That’s where he’s been staying.”
The warehouse. The combination drop-off site and living quarters near the school bus yard where I’d killed Lenny Yates and his companion some months back. It was a good twenty-minute drive from Rinaldo’s office. I turned and started out.
“Hold up,” Rinaldo said.
I turned to glare at him.
“Here you go.” Rinaldo reached down behind his desk and pulled out the bipod and silencer for my Barrett. “Found these in a truck near the rail yard. I figured they were yours.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled as I reached for them.
“Anything you need?”
“Depends on what I find,” I told him. “If she’s gone, I’ll have to call in that favor you once promised me.”