I looked down, the scolding leaving me feeling genuinely contrite for once.
“If you get yourself in a bind, you fucking talk to me about it. We could have figured this one out together, and maybe we wouldn’t have the fucking disaster we have now.”
“I know, sir.”
“That said, I’m not holding you accountable. I know what you’ve been through, and I appreciate that. You’ve always been of great service to me and my family. I can’t discount that, even if you did demonstrate shit judgment on your part.”
“Yes, sir.” I took a breath and looked up at him. His expression softened.
“If you ever need anything from me in the future, you just let me know.” Rinaldo leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms as I nodded. “And let’s not make it putting you down, all right?”
I smiled.
“Yes, sir.”
“You and Lia going to leave right away?”
“As soon as I’m done with a few errands, yes.”
“Do you know where you’re going?”
I shrugged noncommittally.
“Not saying?”
“I’d prefer to keep it to myself, sir. If someone decides to look for me, I’d rather no one in your org know my location.”
Rinaldo nodded.
“We’re going to be busy with all of this. Even with the Russians mostly out of the picture, we’ve still got Greco to deal with. Once we’re reorganized, he’s going to have to pay for everything he’s done to this outfit and my family.”
“I’m sure he will, sir.”
“If I get wind that he’s looking for you out of town, I’ll let you know through your email.”
“I’ll keep an eye on it,” I promised.
Rinaldo stood, and I copied his movement. I thought he would reach out and shake my hand, but he came around the desk and hugged me instead. I returned the gesture a little awkwardly at first but then with tightened arms around his shoulders. We parted, and I took a slight step back.
“I’ve got your back,” Rinaldo said. “I hope you decide to stay in touch.”
“Maybe eventually,” I said. “I’ve got to try and figure out this whole real life thing, you know?”
“All of this hasn’t been real enough for you?” He waved his hands around the office and smiled.
“Nah.” I shook my head. “I think I slept through most of it.”
Rinaldo laughed.
“I hope you will rest easy now.”
“With Lia, yeah,” I said, “I think I will, sir.”
“Take care, son.”
My heart raced as I looked at him, nodded slowly, and turned to leave before I decided to change my mind. I made my way down the back steps without looking back.
It felt strange to walk out of his office with no intention of returning. I knew there would always be the possibility of him calling in a favor—and I would probably do whatever he asked—but for now, he would leave me in peace.
I looked out at the Chicago skyline as I boarded the bus and found two seats together so I had a place for my packages. It was equally strange to know I wouldn’t be riding around on the same CTA buses, looking up at the same buildings, or walking along the lake with Odin chasing seagulls and pigeons.
There were so many memories, so many things I had done here, but more often than not, they weren’t pleasant things. I rode the bus to where my car was parked and then found myself driving around Lake Shore East Park. Someone had fixed the warning sound for the parking garage. It wasn’t as loud as it used to be, but it still made me cringe. There was a spot open, so I parked the car and looked up to the balcony of my old apartment as I walked around the park.
Without actually meaning to, I went inside the dog run.
There were a few people hanging out there, and I sat down on a bench for a minute to watch the dogs sniff and bark at each other. A golden retriever mix came up to me, and I rubbed his head before his owner called him back. Memories of Odin flooded through my mind, but they were all good ones.
I left the park, drove to Giordano’s, and ordered a pizza.
After I had stuffed myself, I walked by the 676 Bar and Grill, but I didn’t go in. It was too early for Michele with one “L” to be working, and besides, the last memories I had there were of Davies. I’d known then he was hiding something, but I thought he was just planning to turn me in along with the rest of Greco’s group, not kidnap and try to rape my girlfriend.
My hands clenched into fists. Lia hadn’t said anything else about it, but I knew she thought about it. She’d woken up last night in a cold sweat, crying. I held her against my chest until she fell back to sleep.
I supposed I owed her a few nights of that.
I was pretty sure she and Luisa had talked about it more, and I was glad she had another woman to go to because I couldn’t even deal with my own traumas, let alone help with hers. I could be there for her, but I didn’t have any words to take away what had happened to her.
After all of that, she still felt guilty about taking his life.
I only regretted not doing it myself.
Shoving my hands in my pockets, I turned away from the lake wind and made the trek back to the car. I drove slowly through downtown traffic and watched the tourists with their shopping bags and Chicago-themed sweatshirts walk up and down the street, looking at maps and smartphones as they tried to figure out where they were.
I drove by the corner where Bridgett used to hang out and wait for tricks.
“You need to stop this shit,” I told myself. “Too many fucking memories.”
With a quick twist of the wheel, I got myself onto Lakeshore Drive and headed toward the less damaged of Rinaldo’s homes. When I arrived, all of Lia’s things were in a pile on the porch next to mine. As I pulled up, she came outside with Luisa and Jonathan behind her.
“Ready now?” she asked.
“Definitely,” I replied.
Luisa and Lia shared an awkward one-armed hug, carefully avoiding bumping the bright pink cast over Luisa’s arm and elbow. They spoke a few soft words as I threw the last of our things into the car and shut the lid to the trunk. Jonathan came over and clasped his hand on my back.
“You take care of yourself, brotha,” Jonathan said as he shook my hand vigorously. He was wearing his Save Ferris T-shirt, which made me smile. “You ever need anything, you know how to find me.”
“Thanks, dude,” I replied. “You sure you’re okay with taking care of…of Odin?”
“It’s my next stop,” Jonathan said. “He’s getting the biggest fucking stone in the pet graveyard, so if you ever come back, it’ll be easy enough to find.”
We looked at each other for a long moment, but there wasn’t anything else to be said. As strange as it was, given how many bodies I had disposed of during my tenure with Rinaldo’s organization, I couldn’t bring myself to take care of Odin’s. The very thought of it brought me to the point of vomiting. It could have been left over from the concussion, but I didn’t think so. When Jonathan had volunteered, I knew my dog would get the best final services he could. Thanks wouldn’t have been anywhere near enough, and Jonathan already knew how I felt about it anyway.
“Don’t put up with any shit from this guy!” Jonathan said to Lia as he gave her a quick hug and opened the car door for her.
She laughed.
“He wouldn’t dare,” she said with a wink to me.
I rolled my eyes, waved goodbye to Luisa, and got behind the wheel. Lia settled in beside me, and I pulled around the circular driveway and off into the street.
“We need to make one last stop,” I said.
“Where?” Lia asked.
“The old apartment over on Kingsbury. I’ve got to grab a couple things from there.”