“You don’t think the longer we hang out behind her back the worse it will be?”
“I can’t imagine spending time with you could ever be a bad thing.”
He smiles and brushes my cheek with his thumb. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
The only way I could see Tori accepting me and Toby was if we were in love, but it’s way too soon for that. I’m in “great like,” but that won’t be enough for Tori. She’ll assume I’m just like every other girl who falls all over herself for Toby.
“This could buy us some time to figure things out.”
“And you’re okay with me pretending to be Meredith’s boyfriend?” The word boyfriend is like a curse coming off his lips.
“No, but I’ll deal with it.”
He lets out a long breath. “I don’t know if I can deal with it.”
“I know it sucks, but it’s only for a few weeks.”
“That’s longer than most of my relationships.” He forces a laugh.
“You don’t get in relationships, remember?” It’s stupid to push him at a time like this, but I can’t help it. I need to know all this is worth it.
“I was hoping to change that.” His face reddens a little. I’ve never seen him look so nervous.
The pain in my gut is overwhelming, but I force a smile and say, “Good. That should make it easier to get through the next few weeks then.”
“If you say so, but you’re not the one pretending to date Meredith.”
I laugh. “I would have if she asked.”
He cracks a smile. “You’d pretend to be a lesbian just to avoid telling my sister we’re dating?”
I shrug. “What can I say? I’m desperate.”
“We both must be.” He pulls me in for a hug. “This is all so crazy. Why does my sister have to be a possessive control freak?”
“That’s your twin and my best friend you’re talking about.”
“Okay, why does my twin and your best friend have to be a possessive control freak?”
He knows that’s not what I meant, but I laugh anyway. We’re both screwed and we know it. We have to take whatever little humor there is in the situation and milk it for all it’s worth.
“So I guess we’ll have to stick to our tutoring sessions and not plan any other get-togethers until this is over, huh?”
“Looks like it.” He lets go of me. “One last kiss before I go make a deal with the devil?”
I reach up on my toes, and he meets me halfway. The kiss is soft at first, but neither of us can control ourselves for long, and we soon end up a tangle of limbs. We don’t pull apart until we hear the front door slam shut.
“Do you think she left?” I ask, licking my lips and tasting Toby’s minty gum.
“I don’t know. Only one way to find out.”
But before we can even leave the dining room, we hear Tori’s voice. “What the hell are you doing in my house?”
Oh God! Why is she home? She’s supposed to be on her date with Ryder.
“What do we do?” I ask Toby.
He shrugs.
“We can’t stay here. Meredith might rat us out.” I wave him on and head to the living room. “Hey, Tor.” I try to act normally, but my insides are on fire. Ryder is with her. “Cutting the date short?”
She looks back and forth between me, Meredith, and Toby, who’s standing behind me. “What the hell is going on? You three are the last people I’d expect to find in my house together.”
Meredith turns toward Toby and me and smiles. “Toby, care to tell your sister what’s going on here?”
Chapter Seventeen
I swallow hard and wait for Toby to explain, but he looks between Meredith and me like he’s trying to decide what to do. He can’t possibly be thinking about telling Tori the truth. Not now. Not with Meredith and Ryder here. Tori will flip out and they’ll be witnesses.
“What’s up, man? You lose your voice or something?” Ryder walks over and claps Toby on the back.
Toby shakes his head and clears his throat. “No, I’m fine.” He meets Tori’s eyes. “Becca and I were studying, and then Meredith came over.”
“Why?” Tori narrows her eyes at him.
“Yeah, Toby.” Meredith gives him a great big smile. “Tell her why I’m here.” Her voice is sickeningly sweet.
Toby takes a deep breath. “I asked Meredith to come over because I realized I made a mistake breaking up with her. She agreed to give me another chance.”
Tori pushes Toby into the dining room for privacy, but she’s practically screaming, so it’s pointless. “What the hell? Meredith is a mega bitch! Why would you get back together with her? My God, you have the worst taste in girls!” She storms out of the dining room, not even giving him a chance to explain, and takes Ryder’s hand, pulling him upstairs.
“That went well,” Meredith says.
“Get out.” I’ve had enough. I’m having a hard enough time dealing with my feelings for Toby and what that will mean for my friendship with Tori. I don’t need Meredith’s crap right now.
Toby steps out of the dining room and shrugs at me.
“I don’t think so, Becca. Toby and I have a date tonight. Isn’t that right, Toby?”
He shakes his head. “I’ll keep up appearances at school, but I’m not hanging out with you on weekends.”
“And how would that look? Weekends are for dating. So. Let’s. Go.” She says the words slowly, making sure Toby hears them loud and clear.
I look at Toby. I get that he wants to take a stand against Meredith¸ but I can’t lose him like this—even if it’s going to tear me apart inside to watch him pretend to be Meredith’s boyfriend. “Go to a movie. You won’t even have to talk to her.”
“What about—?”
I hold my hand up to stop him. Our date today is already ruined. “The sooner you start dating her again, the sooner this can all end.” I grab my jacket and walk to the door because my heart can’t handle any more today.
“Becca,” Toby calls after me.
I open the door and turn back to him, which is a huge mistake because the look in his eyes makes my insides ache.
“I know this is all Hollywood movie cliché, but will you wait for me?”
I manage a small smile and nod. I’ve waited for him for three years. What’s a few more weeks?
***
I don’t get out of bed for the rest of the weekend. Mom asks if I’m sick again. Yeah, sick of lying, sick of sneaking around, sick of not being able to tell the world that I like Toby Michaels. I’m not looking forward to school on Monday and the big reunion between Toby and Meredith. Even though I know it’s not real, it’s still going to be painful to watch. With how popular they are, it will be all anyone is talking about. It’s not fair that a bitch like Meredith is getting exactly what she wants.
Monday morning my alarm goes off for the third time and Mom walks in.
“What’s going on? You never hit the snooze button.” She sits down on my bed and puts her hand on my forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”
“I’m fine. Just tired.”
“Didn’t sleep well?”
“Not really.” It’s hard to sleep when I picture Meredith draped over Toby every time I close my eyes.
“You want to stay home today?”
So tempting, but I can’t stay home for weeks, and that’s how long Toby is going to have to pretend to date Meredith. I might as well get used to it now. Drive the knife straight through my heart rather than ease it in inch by inch. “No. I’m getting up.” I take a quick shower because it’s all I have time for and grab a granola bar to eat on the way to school. Tori isn’t at my locker waiting for me. Guess she’s at Ryder’s locker, or he’s at hers. She finally got the guy she was pining over. I guess things do work out for some people. Apparently I’m just not one of them.
The crowd is gathering at the other end of the hall, and Meredith’s shrieky voice carries to me. I slam my locker shut and turn away before I have to witness the reunion. I hope Toby can get through this, but I also hope he’s miserable doing it. I don’t want him to enjoy any part of being with Meredith. I know it’s selfish and I should want these next few weeks to be as painless as possible for him, but he’s supposed to be with me. I don’t want him to forget that.
I barely see Tori all day, and that sucks because we really need to talk about the crappy way she cut Allison out of my life. She and Ryder even sit together at lunch, which is weird since Ryder sits with Toby—and Meredith. They’re an awkward foursome, but I can’t help thinking that Tori is enjoying being in the popular crowd for once. Maybe she and Toby will actually start getting along and sharing friends. That might make her more open to Toby and me dating…when this is all over.