“You did it for seventeen years.”
“Not true at all. I knew. I was just too shy to tell you.”
“And my sister forbid you from liking me.”
I try to remember a time when we all used to hang out. A time before Tori kept Toby and me separated. “Didn’t we go to some birthday party together in, like, third grade?”
“Yeah, at an arcade downtown.” He scrapes his spoon against the side of the bag, scooping up some icing.
“And didn’t you win a stuffed pink bear for Tori?”
“And a goldfish for you.”
“Oh my God, Mr. Gills! I totally forgot about him.” He was the only pet I’ve ever had because Dad’s allergic to pet hair.
“Tori got upset because she wanted a goldfish too, and I couldn’t win another one.”
“You used all your tokens trying, too.” The memory comes rushing back. “And then Mr. Gills died about a week later, and she still had her stuffed bear.”
He nods. “Open up.” He holds the spoon of icing out to me.
“I told you, birthday boy first.”
“Don’t argue with me on my birthday.”
I open my mouth, and he feeds me the spoonful. Even demolished, the cupcake tastes delicious. “Wow. That’s really good.”
“And you’re still alive, so I guess it’s safe for me to try some.”
I smack his arm. “You were making me test it?”
He smiles and pulls me in for a kiss. “Tastes good to me.”
“What the hell?” I turn to see Tori standing in the doorway, glaring at us.
Chapter Twenty-Four
My heart stops. My lungs shrivel to the size of peas. I’m dying. I must be. The cupcake was poisoned, and I’m slipping away with the agony of death. That must be it.
“I said, what the hell?” Tori walks into the room, slamming the door shut behind her.
“Oh God, Tori,” I say, pulling away from Toby. “You weren’t supposed to find out like this.”
“What is this?” She can’t focus on either one of us. Her eyes dart back and forth. “Please tell me this is a prank. Some sick joke that you two orchestrated while you were planning my party. Tell me someone is going to jump out and yell surprise and hand me the keys to a new car, because nothing short of that is going to make me be okay with my brother and my best friend making out in his room!”
“Okay, let’s calm down and talk about this,” Toby says.
“Calm down? Are you shitting me?” Tori screams. I’m grateful the music downstairs is so loud. I don’t want an audience of the entire junior class. “You don’t get to tell me to calm down, Toby. You were just kissing my best friend. My best friend!”
“I know it looks bad. I get it, but you have to listen to us.” Toby has to stop telling Tori what she needs to do or she’ll never let up.
“Tori.” I stand up, but I’m too afraid to step any closer to her. “We were going to tell you. I swear.”
“When?”
“Today. I promise. We were going to tell you everything. We didn’t want to keep this a secret from you.”
“Oh, so you were going to tell me today? On my birthday?” She forces a laugh. “Happy birthday, Tori, I’ve been sneaking around with your twin brother!”
“No.” Oh God. She’s right. What the hell made me think today was a good day to come clean? We’re ruining her birthday. This is the worst time for this. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“No, you weren’t. You weren’t thinking about anyone but yourselves.” She shakes her head in disgust. “My God, Becca, how could you do this to me?”
“I don’t know. You’re right. I should’ve told you some other time.”
“No.” She cuts me off. “I mean how could you go behind my back like this? You’re like my freakin’ sister, and you’re doing…this?” She gestures to Toby.
“It’s not like that. This is still pretty new.”
“How new? Right-after-Meredith-dumped-Toby new?”
“Before that,” Toby says.
“Holy crap! You two were together while Toby was dating Meredith? That’s sick!”
“You don’t understand. Meredith caught us together and threatened to tell you if I didn’t pretend to date her and get her back on top at school.” I don’t know how Toby is managing to find the courage to talk because my throat is closing on me.
“Meredith knew?” Tori’s eyes widen. “She knew before me? You confessed to her but not me?”
“It wasn’t like that,” I say.
“Who else knows?” She looks at Toby. “Mom and Dad? The neighbors? Who?”
“Apparently, Mr. Kwan.”
I shoot Toby a look. That is so not helping.
Tori laughs. “Of course. Mr. Kwan. How silly of me?”
I’ve never seen Tori like this. She’s lost it. “Tor, we didn’t mean for any of this to happen this way. I’ve had feelings for Toby for a while, but I knew you wouldn’t like it so I never said anything.”
“That’s right. You knew. You knew I wouldn’t allow this, and you went ahead and did it anyway. You suck, Becca. You know that? You’re a backstabbing bitch, just like—”
“That’s enough, Tori.” Toby steps toward her, as if blocking me will protect me from her words. “Becca didn’t want to hurt you. I’m the one who initiated this. I had feelings for her, and I kissed her. If you want to blame someone, then blame me.”
“Believe me I do, but you didn’t do this alone. Becca is every bit as guilty. No, you know what? She’s guiltier. I trusted her.” She steps around Toby and faces me. “I trusted you as my best friend. How could you do this to me? You knew how I felt about all those girls throwing themselves at him. You knew! How could you let yourself become one of them?”
“She’s not one of them.” Toby steps next to me. “She never came after me.”
“Oh, good for her. She just let you seduce her. Poor, poor, Becca, she wasn’t strong enough to stand up to your—” she gestures the length of Toby’s body “—whatever this is.”
“Tori.” I keep my voice small and try not to sound defensive. “Can you please explain why it’s such a big deal if Toby and I like each other? Why have you never wanted people to hang out with the both of you?”
“Because then everyone will see he’s the better twin!” Her face is bright red, and she’s starting to shake.
The better twin? Where would she get an idea like that? “That’s crazy.”
“No, it’s not.” Her arms flail at her sides. “He’s perfect. He’s smart, popular, and good at sports. What am I good at? Making out. That doesn’t get me much.”
“It got you Ryder,” I say, trying to break the tension.
“That’s not funny.”
“But what about Ryder?” Toby asks. “You’re dating him now. Doesn’t that show you that this no sharing friends rule is absurd?”
She glares at Toby. “Is that why you set me up with him? So you could get your hands on my best friend?”
Sort of. “Tori, he knew how much you liked Ryder.”
“That’s not exactly a denial, Becca.”
I sigh. “Look, I don’t want to lie to you.”
“Funny because that’s all you’ve been doing. Lying and sneaking around with my brother. My brother!”
“I know. I feel awful, but you didn’t exactly make this easy for me. I wanted to tell you how I feel about him, but you were so insistent that I couldn’t be his friend. I knew you’d freak out if I told you we wanted to date each other.”
“You know Toby doesn’t date people. He’s not the boyfriend type.” She eyes him again, anger flooding her face.
I nod, and I can see the disappointment on Toby’s face. “He was like that, but this is different.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t be a Meredith. Don’t be stupid enough to think you’re the one who will change him, make him a better guy. You can’t.”
“She’s nothing like Meredith,” Toby says. I can’t help noticing that he’s willing to defend me, but not himself.
Tori ignores him, choosing to focus on me. “The only thing I have over Toby is that I can commit to someone. You may think I only like Ryder because he’s hot, but that’s not the only reason I’m with him. He gets me. He doesn’t try to change me, and he doesn’t care when I fly off the handle about things. He lets me be myself, and he likes me anyway.”