“All right, before we get into your trig work, you have to tell me what’s got you so jumpy.” He closes the door and sits down on the bed, motioning for me to join him. His room is neater today. The bed is fully made, his closet is closed, and the bookshelf is dusted.
I sit down, letting my bag fall to the floor. “What was up with detention? First you show up and tell me you got in trouble for cutting class. Then you leave and say you never had detention.”
He laughs. “I did get caught in the hall without a pass, but I was sent on an errand for Mrs. Engleberg, so I didn’t get busted for it.”
“Then why did you make me think you had?”
“I didn’t want you to feel bad about getting detention. It really isn’t a big deal.”
“So you keep telling me.”
“Look, I thought if I was there too, you wouldn’t feel so bad about it.”
“But you didn’t have detention.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“And why did you leave so suddenly?”
“I remembered I was supposed to meet Meredith.”
“Oh.” I can’t keep up with those two. Are they together or are they not? And if he’s into her then why go to detention to see me? I couldn’t be more confused right now.
“It’s not like that. Remember how she called yesterday?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, she asked me to help her with her lab. She couldn’t figure it out, and she was absent the day the rest of the class did it.”
“So you were tutoring her?” He said he never tutored anyone else.
“No. We’re lab partners. I already did that lab the day she was absent. I told her I’d meet her in the lab and help her after school.” He shrugs one shoulder. “Only I sort of forgot until detention was halfway over.”
“I’m sure she wasn’t happy.”
His eyes widen, and he smiles. “No, she wasn’t. But it made it easier to tell her what I needed to.”
Did he set her straight? Tell her he’s not interested in her? “Well, I’m glad things worked out then.”
“You’re not going to ask me, are you?”
“Ask you what?”
“What I had to tell Meredith.”
“No. Why would I?”
“Because you want to know. I can see it in your eyes.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “It’s none of my business.”
“Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.” He fidgets with his hands in his lap. “I told Meredith that I’m not interested in her like that. And that I like someone else.”
I can’t help wondering if he’s telling me this so I know he likes someone else. Kill two birds with one stone and all that. “I feel sorry for the girl. Meredith is going to be gunning for her.”
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t.” He smiles, but I’m in no mood to return it. My stupid heart is crushed. I shouldn’t have let my feelings get this intense. It’s my own fault. Toby liking someone else is for the best. I couldn’t ever date him anyway. Tori wouldn’t allow it. But I still want to curl into a ball and cry my eyes out.
“So, maybe I should do a few problems and you can check them for me.” I pull my trig book from my bag and open it to the homework.
“Okay.” He takes the book and slides closer so I can see it while figuring out the problem in my notebook.
I work quickly, hoping to end this disaster of a tutoring session as soon as possible. “How’s that?” I hand him my notebook without meeting his eyes.
He looks it over. “You were good until here. Watch.” He takes the pencil from my hand, brushing his fingers across mine, and erases some of my work. I have to keep the physical contact to a minimum if I’m ever going to get over him. He explains what I did wrong, and I try the next problem, following his example. “Much better. Keep going.”
I finish the page, and he checks my answers. I only have to fix two of them, and considering my brain and heart are both piles of mush right now, I think that’s pretty good. “Great. Thanks.” I shove my books in my bag and stand up.
“Is there a fire I don’t know about?” He stands.
“I promised my parents I’d be home early. They want to spend some quality family time together.”
“Oh.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “Well, have fun.”
I nod and walk out. I don’t want to stop in Tori’s room. She’ll spot the disappointment on my face in seconds, so I run downstairs and text her from the car.
Becca: Had to run. Call you later.
Tori: Couldn’t even say good-bye. I see how it is.
Becca: Sorry.
I put the phone away and drive home, wanting to get as far from Toby as possible. I’d say my crush is officially done now.
***
I don’t want to be a liar, so I watch TV with Mom and Dad before going up to my room for the night. I slip into my fleece pajamas and get into bed. I promised Tori I’d call her, and if I don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it. Forget that I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. I pick up my cell, but before I can dial, I get a text.
Unknown: Everything ok? You seemed weird 2night.
I don’t recognize the number.
Becca: Who is this?
Unknown: It’s Toby. Got ur number from Tori’s phone. Hope you don’t mind.
Toby is texting me? Why? He just told me he likes another girl.
Becca: I’m fine.
I don’t hear anything for a minute. Maybe that’s the end of it. He just wanted to make sure I’m okay. He must know I have a crush on him and the guilt of letting me down, even if it was gently, is too much for him so he checked up on me.
Toby: Don’t worry about trig. You’ll do great.
Becca: Thanks.
It’s probably best to keep my responses short. Don’t let him know my heart is in a million pieces.
Toby: I’m glad you didn’t let Tori make you over.
What made him think about that?
Becca: Thanks for being honest.
He can take that however he likes. I can’t blame him for how I feel. He’s been upfront with me—other than the detention lie—but he was only trying to make me feel better, so I can’t be too mad at him for that.
Toby: I meant it.
God, I want this conversation to end! I don’t want to hear about his new girl, whoever she is. I don’t reply, hoping he’ll get the hint.
Toby: I really do like the way you dress.
What? I thought he was talking about what he said in his room.