He held still, his blue eyes searching hers. “I love you,” he said, his voice sounding choked. “Even if I’d never found you again I would have loved you so hard it hurt until the day I died. I never would have given up hope. I never would have given up faith. And I never would have loved any other woman but you.”
She pulled his head down and kissed him as he slowly thrust, trying to savor it, but she wrapped her legs around his hips and held on. “Harder,” she whispered in his ear. “As hard as you want.”
He dropped his head to her shoulder and thrust, moaning when his release took him as he buried himself inside her one final time, holding still and relishing the feel of their flesh joined together.
“I love you,” she said. She knew as she spoke the words that they were branded on her soul. She did love him, and the other two men.
He burst into tears. With his face pressed against the side of her neck and his body wracked with sobs, he cried out his grief and fear as the truth of their reunion soothed the deep pain in his soul. She stroked his back, gently whispering his name in his ear. That, and, “I love you.”
Aaroncaphford. The one encompassing fact she did not forget, even if she couldn’t remember.
Her men.
She drifted to sleep in his arms.
Chapter Nineteen
She awoke with a start in the dim cabin. The lights had automatically turned down at their usual time. She inhaled and smelled Ford, his arms still protectively wrapped around her. His scent wafted familiar to her soul and body, comforting her, even if she couldn’t remember it before that night.
Even in sleep his emotions boiled over. Was he always like this or had joy overwhelmed him?
He awoke and nuzzled his chin in her hair. “You awake?”
“Yeah.” Now she realized she had to think to speak English. She’d never considered it before. Her thoughts naturally flowed in Beyant, because in the course of a normal day, that’s all she spoke with rare exceptions.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
He brushed his fingers along her arm, gently stroking. “Do you remember anything? From before they found you?”
“Not really. Just feelings. Emotions. Skills. The occasional tiny thing.”
“Nothing?”
She looked up at him. “Not really. Only things like that I love you and them, even though I can’t remember them.”
He smiled. “Aaron and Caph are going to kick my ass when we get to Mars and I get in touch with them. But it’ll be worth it to see their faces when they get a gander at you. Cap’s blamed himself all this time. The big guy, he’d just about given up on living. I was really worried about him.”
“Cap? Big guy?”
“Aar. He’s our captain. We also call him Cap. And Caph’s nickname is ‘big guy.’” He stroked her cheek. “Why is your skin that color?”
She’d noticed, compared to Ford and the other humans on the space station, how orange her flesh looked although she was pale compared to the Beyants. “I think it’s compounds in the water and the food.”
“The hair, too?”
She nodded.
“I don’t care,” he said as if anticipating her next question. “I wouldn’t care if you were bald and blue-skinned, just that you’re back.” He kissed her. “Four months alone with you. I wish I could talk to Aaron and Caph and tell them, but man, I’m going to remember every second of this time.”
“I just wish I could remember my time with you before.” At that he looked sad. She wished she hadn’t said it.
“Me, too, babe. Me, too.”
“Will my memory come back?”
“I don’t know.” He reached over the edge of the bunk to the floor, where his pants had ended up. He showed her the handheld again. “I copied everything so I’d have it in case I needed it. Thank the gods!” He scrolled through the device and handed it to her. “Can you synthesize that on board?”
She frowned as she studied the list. “I’m not sure what some of these are.”
“You don’t know what they are, you don’t remember what they are, or you don’t know how to translate them into Beyant equivalents?”
When she looked at him, surprised he sensed her thoughts, he arched an eyebrow at her. “You and me, we always had a special little thing like that. You have something different with each of us. You and me, we were always attached at the brain.”
She laughed. “What about the other two?”
“Caph’s your big buddy. He’s a really big guy, almost as big as Yanna, but he’s got this heart that’s really sensitive and fragile. He’d kill anyone who tried to hurt you. If that asshole hadn’t killed himself first, me and Cap would have had to hold Caph back.” He frowned. “Well, we’d all have been fighting for the right to kill the guy, but same thing.” He sighed. “Caph and you, he’s a big guy, but he’s a little puppy dog around you.”
“And Aaron?”
“He’s your rock. All of us, but especially you. You healed his heart when we met you. I never thought I’d see him happy again, then we met you and after that first sim session, it was like he was a changed man. He loves me and Caph, but since you came into our lives, he lives for you.”
The com in her cabin whistled. She reached over and pushed a button and answered in Beyant. They spoke for a moment. Then she smiled and ended the conversation.
Ford wondered if she’d felt like this in her first days and weeks with the Beyants. Alone, in an alien culture, unable to understand them.
“They were reminding me it’s dinnertime,” she said. His stomach growled in response and she laughed again. “Exactly.”
“How did you learn to speak their language so well?”
She shrugged. “Yanna could speak fairly good standard. They worked with me, and I worked with them. After a while, it became second nature. I’ve taught most of the crew basic standard since I’ve been with them.”
“Can you read it, too?”
“Mostly.” She sat up and kissed him. “I’ll teach you.” She stood and took his hand, coaxing him from the bunk and leading him to the head. “They call it a facility,” she said, then pointed out the various features and how to use them. It wasn’t too different than a conventional head. She explained the placards and translated for him. Then she pulled him into the shower with her and he jumped, startled to find it wasn’t a sonic shower when the warm spray hit his skin.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
He laughed, holding his hands under the water and watching the drops bead against his flesh. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a water shower?”
“The engines produce water as a by-product of their cycle. It’s condensation. It’s reclaimed for sanitation use and maintenance. Drinking water is different and purified through filters.”
He pulled her to him, holding her under the water, kissing her. In a few minutes he’d pressed her against the wall and was entering her again, taking her there in the shower and using his fingers on her clit to make her come before he finished inside her with a hard thrust.
Shaky, she held on tightly, her head resting against his chest. “Is making love with you always that good?”
He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “With us? Babe, this is the tame end of the scale. It’s usually far better.”
They finished and dressed. He was happy to see she wouldn’t let go of his hand as she led him out of the cabin. Two guards, Pabo and another she introduced as Gwan, fell into step behind them.
“They’re jealous,” Ford whispered in her ear as he draped his arm around her shoulder and snugged her close to him.
She smiled. “No. They’re protective. They treat me like a little sister.” Her smile faded. “They saved my life. If they hadn’t found me…”