The next morning, my temper had cooled quite a bit, even if my feelings for Carrie hadn’t. One thing I knew I had to do? I had to tell her I loved her before I left. I had to give it one last shot. If she told me she didn’t give a damn about my feelings, then I’d leave. At least I would know I gave it all I had. I wouldn’t spend my life wondering what would have happened if I’d gotten the balls to tell her I loved her.
I hadn’t been lying when I told her yesterday she deserved better than me. She did. But no one else would love her as much as I could. No one else could make her feel as good, either. My phone rang and I glanced down. When I saw it was the senator, I sighed and picked it up. “Good morning, sir.”
“What’s this I hear about you punching Cory Pinkerton? What happened?”
I rubbed my temples. “Who told you?”
“The police called the campus, and the campus called me.” The senator sighed. “I’ll get it taken care of, but you better have a damned good reason for punching someone who could very well be a huge contributor to my campaign in the future.”
I swallowed the curses wanting to escape. “Yeah. Because your campaign is the most important thing here.”
“Are you insulting me, son?” His tone dropped, and I clenched the phone. “I can just as easily let the cops get their hands on your sorry ass. I’m sure your father would be displeased.”
Minus a huge pension, no doubt.
“No, sir.” I cleared my throat. “No disrespect.”
“Good.” I could practically hear the smug grin the senator wore. “Now tell me what happened.”
I filled him in, but in my version of the story, Carrie had already left and my cover hadn’t been blown. “So, I told him I was a jealous ex, punched him, and told him never to come near her again.”
“I’ll kill the little brat,” the senator said. “How dare he act that way toward my girl?”
I clenched my jaw. “I felt the same way, sir.”
“Good work, son. Keep in the shadows, and don’t be seen.”
This was the time to tell him I quit. Tell him I couldn’t stay here anymore, but I hung up on him without another word and tossed my phone across the bed. I’d had to make up a story, so now I had to fill Carrie in on the tale I’d told. Time to track her down and fill her in. And while I was at it, I’d tell her I was in love with her too.
I’d leave after she laughed in my face.
I lifted my hand to knock on Finn’s door, but it swung open before I could. There he stood, looking breathtakingly gorgeous as always. I had spent an hour out on the water, enjoying the solitude of the ocean. Everyone out there seemed to be trying to escape something. I wanted to escape it all. My life. Cory. My father.
And most of all…Finn. He was leaving me.
I didn’t even know how I felt about him anymore. I knew when Finn was around, my heart begged for me to forgive him. To give him another chance. But my head screamed just as loudly, and it called my heart a fool. How could I trust him after everything he’d done? After everything we’d been through?
I couldn’t. That’s how.
“Carrie? What are you doing here?”
I licked my lips and focused on him. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say yet. I probably should have thought that through. “I’m checking in to see if you heard from my dad yet.”
“He called. He was informed that Cory pressed charges against me.”
I closed my eyes. I’d been up all night worrying about that. “I told you he would do that. We’ll fix this. I’m sure if I speak to him, tell him who I really am, he’ll—”
“No.”
I stiffened. “Why not?”
“Because you’re not blowing your cover for me.”
“What if I want to?”
“I don’t care.” He lifted a brow. “Besides, your father’s taking care of it. I had to fabricate a story so that he wouldn’t know I was outed to you, but he bought it.”
Wait, if he lied and didn’t tell him about me knowing his identity, did that mean he was staying? Please God, yes. “What did you tell him?”
Finn quickly relayed the fabricated story, and I nodded. “That was quick thinking.”
“No, it wasn’t. I was up all night, waiting.” He shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep, anyway.”
I looked up at him. “Me either.”
Our gazes latched, and he turned a little bit red. “Look, Carrie, I—”
“Are you still leaving?” I asked at the same time.
He broke off. “Do you want me to?”
“I don’t want you to,” I said slowly, not dropping my gaze. “I want you to stay, but I get it if you can’t.”
“Can you ever forgive me? For lying?”
“I do forgive you.” I took a deep breath. All night long, I’d been asking myself this very question. Asking myself if I could ever understand his motivation. It wasn’t until I answered just now that I realized I already had. “I forgive you for it all. I understand why you did what you did.”
His eyes lit up. “Do you think you can ever… Can we ever…?”
I wished I could say yes, but he’d hit me where I was weakest. All my life, Dad had been paying people to get close to me. And the first man I fell in love with was one of them. It hurt too much. Brought back too many memories—none of them good.
He made a choking sound. “You don’t have to answer. I can see it in your eyes.”
“I’m so sorry,” my voice a mere whisper. It’s all I could manage past my aching throat.
He swallowed hard. “I love you, will always love you. I’m sorry I killed us before we even had a chance.”
And with that bombshell, he shut the door in my face.
Well, there you had it. I’d told her I loved her. Had asked for another chance. She’d said no. Chapter over. End of our story. I’d always known she was smart, and she’d proved it even more by rejecting me. She deserved more than I could give her. Security. Diamonds. A fucking mansion.
With another man, she could get all those things and more.
I slammed my fist into the wall, trembling from the force of the frustration and anger and pain storming through me. What had I been thinking, falling for her? What made me think I could find a way to make her forgive me, when I had so clearly fucked up? She didn’t love me. She never would.
A knock sounded on the door, and I yanked it open. Carrie still stood there. “How dare you?”
I closed my fist around the knob, ignoring the way my heart leapt at the sight of her. “How dare I what?”
She shoved my shoulders, and I backed up. “You don’t tell someone you love them and then just leave. What the hell is wrong with you?”
I rubbed where her hand had impacted with my shoulder and raised a brow. “You might as well sit if you want me to list everything. It could take all day.”
“Shut up, you idiot. God, you make me so…so…” She made a frustrated sound and covered her face. “Mad.”
I dropped my hand and held my breath. “Carrie?”
“Did you mean it?” She lifted her head, her eyes shooting a challenge at me I would gladly accept. Any day. Any time. Anywhere. “Do you really love me? Or are you just trying to trick me into thinking you do?”
I frowned at her. I wouldn’t dignify that with a response. “What do you think?”
“Finn.” She advanced on me. “I need to know. I need to hear it.”
I growled. With one quick step, I had her in my arms and I was kissing her. Kissing her so she would shut the hell up and stop shooting questions at me. Kissing her because if I didn’t, I might die. When she stopped squirming in my arms, and instead clung to me, I broke off the kiss.
Cupping her cheeks, I met her eyes and said, “I want to be your man. To show you how happy I can make you. I promise you, with all my heart and soul, that I’m not lying about this. I’m not making anything up. Not anymore.”