“I found Will’s last notebook,” he said.
“In the state cabin?”
He nodded.
“I looked for it afterward,” she said wistfully, breaking their gaze. “I’d hoped he brought it down with him. Where was it—under the mattress?”
“Yes. I saw your initial in the guest book. I recognized it from the invitation you sent.”
She smiled, and her eyes filmed over, as if remembering something that touched her. It wasn’t guilt, he thought.
“I wanted to leave some kind of record,” she said. “In case something happened to me. Or to both of us. You know that outfitter Smoke Van Horn? The one you shot? He saw us together up there. He didn’t approve.”
“I know.”
“He was the least of our worries, though. He didn’t realize I was trying to save Will.”
“Were you?”
“Obviously I didn’t do a very good job of it.”
Joe started to speak when Ed slid a big platter in front of him and handed Stella her bagel on a plate.
“These are on the house,” Ed said. “Enjoy!”
Joe looked up. “What’s the occasion?”
“This is my last day of business here,” Ed said, his eyes betraying his beaming mouthonly smile. “Jackson has plumb outgrown me.”
“Damn,” Joe said.
“I’d have done the same for Smoke,” Ed said. “He was a good customer too.
“See that up there on the shelf ?” Ed gestured to a garishly painted ceramic lion’s head. “That was in honor of Smoke, the Lion of the Tetons. Some of his hunters presented it to him at breakfast once, and he forgot it when he left. I put it up there and it’s been there ever since. He always said he wanted it back, but he never took it with him.”
Joe could feel Stella’s eyes on him, watching his reaction.
“It’s a shame,” Ed said.
“You mean Smoke? Or your last day of business?” Joe asked.
Ed turned back toward the kitchen. “Both, I guess,” he said over his shoulder.
Joe and Stella talked long after the dishes were cleared. He had drunk so much coffee he felt jittery. She asked him about what had happened at the cabin, and he recounted it all. She seemed fascinated by the story, but focused in on what he was thinking at the time, and how he felt after, not the details of the shooting. He was again taken by how comfortable he was with her, how easy she was to talk with. He wondered if Will had felt the same way. Then he answered his own question: of course he did. He’d said as much in his notebook.
“I don’t know what to say,” Joe said. “I’m talked out.”
“I think you do,” she said. “You’re just scared of the words.”
He looked up at her.
“Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you can’t care for another just as much. It’s about context. It doesn’t have to be an either/or situation. You can have both.”
Joe felt his eyes grow wide, and squinted them back. He felt the ZING.
“I don’t know,” he stammered.
“I’m safe,” she said, leaning across the table toward him.
“You will never meet a woman as safe as I am. I have no agenda, and I don’t want either of us to get hurt. But I want to be with you, Joe, if only for a little while. As long as it’s real, and as honest as we can make it.”
“What about Don?” Joe asked, not even believing he had asked.
“Don’t ruin the mood,” she said abruptly. “Don thinks of me as part of him. And since Don is obsessed with the very idea and concept of Don Ennis, well . . .”
Ed appeared with the pot of coffee. Joe didn’t know whether to embrace him or send him away.
“What is it you’re trying to find out here?” he asked, looking out the window.
She was quiet for a few moments. Then: “I told you. I’m looking for authenticity. Genteel authenticity. All my life I’ve been surrounded by people who pose, who play a role. For the first twentyfive years of my life, I didn’t know the difference between actors and the real people they based their performances on. I’m sick of the interpretation. I want to go to the source.”
“And you think you’ll find it here?”
She laughed, tossed her head back. “Not in Jackson, no.
But yes, I think I’ll find it out here. I think I’m getting real close right now.”
Joe felt his face get hot. He wondered what kind of authenticity Stella thought she could find in a married man.
How could it be authentic if lying was integral to the relationship? But he couldn’t say it.
“We’re the last people left in here,” Joe said, looking around. “I should get going.”
“And do what?”
He thought about it. “I’ve got some things I need to check out.”
She narrowed her eyes, trying to read him.
“Look,” he said, “I’m not sure why I trust you, but I do.
Maybe it’s because Will did. You’ve got to answer a question.”
He saw a flash of fear in her dark eyes. What did she think he was going to ask?
“When you went up to the state cabin with Will, did he seem to get better? His mental state, I mean?”
“At first, yes,” she said. Was that relief he noticed in her face? “The first day up there he said he felt like himself again. He loved Two Ocean Pass, and said he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his days there.”
“He is,” Joe said, “but go on.”
She hesitated a moment before continuing. “By the second day, though, he was in bad shape again. He’d have terrible headaches, and he couldn’t eat. His hands shook. I tried to help him, you know, keep him distracted. But he was too far gone. He was really depressed when we rode back down. That was a week before, you know . . .”
Joe nodded, thinking.
“What?” she asked.
“This morning Dr. Thompson gave me a little lecture about taking care of myself. He said I had drugs in my system.”
Stella looked at Joe, puzzled.
“He said it was barbiturates. He said even though I’d taken the stuff days before, there were still traces in my blood. He asked me about Valium and Xanax, and warned me that both have some serious side effects.”
She listened intently, watching him, something going on behind her eyes.
“Stella, I’ve never taken drugs in my life. Somehow, they were introduced. It must have happened before I went up into the Thorofare. I haven’t really felt normal since I got here, so now I’m guessing this has been going on for a while.”
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“I think the same thing happened to Will. Maybe somebody got to him, figured out a way to drug him. He was under a lot of pressure, and if he didn’t know he was being drugged it would have made it worse for him, made him think he was going crazy. It was just a matter of time before he did something horrible.”
She looked stricken, her face drained of color. She knew something, but he didn’t know what.
“You’re coming to our party tonight, aren’t you?” she asked suddenly.
Joe sat back. “I hadn’t thought of it. I forgot about it, to be honest with you. I never RSVP’d.”
“You need to come,” she said, reaching across the table and grasping his hand.
“Why? It doesn’t seem like the kind of thing I’m good at.”
“It’s important to me that you come,” she said, her eyes burning into his. “It’s essential. I’ll make sure you’re on the guest list. The Secret Service wants a guest list by noon.”
“Stella . . .”
“What you just told me opens everything up,” she said.
“It’s like a light just went on. But I need to think about it, and make sure I’m on the right track.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked.
“Come tonight,” she said, grabbing her jacket and sliding out of the booth. “Everything will come together tonight. We’ll have everybody we need in one room.”
He didn’t know what to make of that. He wanted to believe she was on his side, on Will’s side. That she was going to help solve the puzzle of Will’s death, but in her own way.