“Yes,” I said. “It was just so final.”
“Maybe that’s for the best,” Beck said tightly.
Claudia punched the top of his arm. “No, it’s not,” she argued.
“It is for Jake.” Beck refused to be cowed. He shot me a look. “I’m sorry, Charley, but he’s been waiting around for you for a whole fucking year now. He needs to let go and you need to let him go.”
“She loves him, you jackass.”
“Babe,” Beck tried to placate her, “I think you need to let go of this particular hope.”
“I do love him,” I cut off whatever scathing reply Claudia was about to shoot back. “But I finally feel like I can breathe for the first time in a year and I’m scared that everything will get crazy again if Jake and I got back together.”
That shut them both up.
Beck’s gaze softened and he leaned across the counter. “It’s always going to be a little crazy. You can’t control this shit.” He shot Claudia a sardonic look and said, “Believe me.”
She rolled her eyes at him before turning back to me. “Charley… you’re going to lose him for real if you don’t make a move. And what happens if you bump into each other at U of C next fall? What if you have to endure watching him with another Melissa? Can you handle that?”
“Wait.” Beck shot up from the counter in surprise. “You’re going to Chicago for law?”
I nodded, feeling a little sheepish that I hadn’t told Jake or the guys.
“And you knew?” Beck asked Claudia. “This will kill Jake. You can’t go to the same school unless you’re together. It’ll majorly fuck with his head.” He slumped down onto a nearby stool looking suddenly exhausted. “Okay, we have to fix this.”
“How?” I said, feeling a little frantic.
Beck studied me a moment. “Do you really love him?”
“Yes.”
“Are you willing to lose him?”
I bit my lip, knowing that despite the fear inside me, there really was only one answer to that question. “No.”
Beck grinned. “You got any money?”
“For what?”
“As we speak, Jake is on a plane to Europe for spring break with Luke and a couple of Luke’s friends. Luke thought he needed to get away for a bit.”
Immediately catching on, I felt adrenaline shoot through me. I felt jittery, impatient, anxious, and scared shitless. “Europe.” It couldn’t be Las Vegas, huh? Then again, flying clear across an ocean was a pretty big statement. “Do you have his itinerary?”
I had to make a decision and I didn’t have the luxury of time. Jake’s heart couldn’t take much more, and mine needed to learn how to cope with all the craziness that came with loving someone as much as I loved Jacob Caplin.
I was fearful. But I was also excited and ready to do this, no matter if I was walking into a lifetime of drama, or a moment of rejection that would live with me forever.
I was going to do this, unknown be damned.
21
Amsterdam April 2014
The hotel reception was clean and tidy but basic. The polished beech floor shone beneath my feet, the walls brightly finished in an off-white paint. However, it looked somewhat sterile with so few paintings. I sat in an uncomfortable lobby chair beside three other empty lobby chairs, avoiding the smiling receptionist whose grin seemed to wilt with more and more concern every time our eyes met. I’d been waiting in the hotel since nine o’clock in the morning. I told the receptionist I was waiting on a friend who was staying here, but it’d been a couple of hours and I was still sitting there.
I began to worry that Beck had gotten the itinerary wrong.
Until the elevator doors pinged open.
My eyes flew to it and my heart leapt into my throat at the sight of Jake. He’d cut his hair short again but his cheeks and jaw were scruffy with sexy stubble. He looked a little tired and his mouth was turned down in that unhappy way I hated seeing on him.
My eyes hungrily took in his broad-shouldered, tall frame. He was wearing a T-shirt and jeans and he had a small backpack thrown over his shoulder, but to me, he looked amazing.
Being so close to him for the first time in so long… Man, my whole body felt alive. I’d told Beck I was breathing again for the first time in a long time, and I was. But I’d forgotten there was so much more to living than breathing. The evidence was standing only a few feet from me, making my every nerve spark and every sense open up as if they hadn’t been used at full capacity since last December.
Realizing Jake was going to walk out of the hotel, I called out, “You’re from Chicago. I can tell.”
His head jerked at my voice and as soon as his eyes lit upon me, he froze. His gaze roamed over me, taking in every inch of me as if he were trying to process if I was real.
Finally, I guess he decided I was because he walked slowly over to me, stopping to tower above me. I craned my neck to keep my eyes on his gorgeous face.
I love you so much.
His eyes flared at the unspoken sentiment. “What are you doing here?” he asked breathlessly.
I shrugged, a small smile playing on my lips as I used nonchalance to cover my nerves. “Looking for a boy.”
Jake’s mouth twitched at that and I felt hope bubble inside me. “That so?”
“Yes. Chased him clear across an ocean. Luckily, I sleep like a baby on a plane.”
Jake scratched his chin in thought. “That’s a long way to come for a guy.”
I shrugged again. “He’s worth the air miles.”
This time Jake gave a huff of laughter before his expression turned searing with gravity. “I guess this means you came to find me?”
“Yes,” I answered, remembering his words from months before.
“Go home and find yourself. Take all the time you need. And when you’re done and if you still want me, come and find me.”
Tears filled my eyes.
He saw. “What are you going to do now that you found me?”
“Keep you.”
He sucked in his breath, like I’d knocked the wind out of him. After a moment of staring at me with his chocolaty-brown, soulful eyes, Jake looked over his shoulder at the elevator. When he turned back to me, I saw all the love in the world on his face. “I was on my way out, but now I’m thinking I really need to take you up to my room.”
My pulse raced so hard. “That sounds great.”
“I take you up there, though, you’ve got to promise me it’s forever. And mean it this time.”
I crossed my heart. “Forever.”
We stared at each other a long moment. The blood whooshed in my ears as everything stopped….
Until Jake held his hand out for mine.
Epilogue
Chicago September 2014
The Tent was packed with people who’d come out to hear The Stolen. I glanced curiously at all those faces, knowing somewhere in the crowd was an A & R executive from a major record label.
The Tent was a rock club in Chicago’s South Side and to just be playing it was a huge deal for the guys. To have a talent scout in the audience, an even bigger deal.
A rumble of husky laughter met my ears before warm lips brushed my neck and a strong arm slid around my waist. I turned to look up into Jake’s handsome face.
“Claudia’s a wreck,” he said loudly. “I left her with Beck backstage.”
“She wants this for him.” I hugged him close. “And you know how concerned he is.”
Jake didn’t look concerned at all. “I told him if the band gets signed and it starts taking its toll on his and Claudia’s relationship, he walks away from the band. Easy solution.”
I frowned. “And you’re sure the guys are all okay with that?”