“Then what was it?”
“I wanted to kiss you, so I did.” I shrugged, trying to play it off as if I wasn’t going completely crazy right now. Because I abso-fuck-ing-lutely was. “Why were you late, anyway?”
“I was chatting with Marie.” She glanced up at me. “We’ve been talking, and we have a lot more in common than I thought. We’re getting coffee later this week.”
I’d told her she should try talking to Marie some more. My Ginger wasn’t the most open when it came to making friends—with reason. But Marie seemed a pretty safe bet. “That sounds fun.”
“Yeah.” She bit down on her lip. “I think she’s homesick, and sometimes I get that way too, even with my crazy parents. She doesn’t seem to have many people here, besides me. I’m lucky I have you.”
She had a knack for finding the loneliest sucker and making her feel welcome with nothing more than a smile. It was one of the things I loved most about her. “She can have me too if you want.”
She slapped my arm. “Haha, really funny.”
“What? I was just trying to be supportive.” I threw my arm around her. “But you know I’m kidding. I only have room for one college student in my life.”
“I might take her to the soup kitchen with me this weekend while you’re gone.” She stole a quick peek at me. “If you don’t mind, of course.”
“Of course not,” I said through the nervousness trying to strangle me. “But you have to leave with her, and not walk down any dark alleys.”
“I’ll leave before it’s dark, I promise.” She grabbed her helmet and tugged it on. When she was finished, I held out my hand for her bag. She handed it over and I slid it over my head, watching her the whole time.
I slipped my own helmet over my head and revved the engine, disgusted with myself. “You ready, Ginger?”
She glided on behind me and wrapped her body around mine. I’d never get sick of this feeling with her. This utter shiny happiness at her arms wrapped around me, her head on my shoulder. It never got old and I hoped it never would.
“Ready,” she called out.
When we pulled up to my apartment building, I stopped the bike and took a deep breath. I’d made a move that she may or may not appreciate, and I was about to find out.
“I’m exhausted.” She took off her helmet and started up the pathway toward the stairs. After yawning loudly, she added, “I need to do some more homework, then we’re going to bed early. I didn’t sleep well after you left last night.”
I hadn’t asked her to come home with me, and she hadn’t suggested it. It still stung that after our first fight as a couple, we’d spent the night apart. “Yeah, me either.”
“Next time, no matter the fight, we sleep together. Deal?”
“It’s a promise,” I said, leaning down to kiss her.
When she broke off the kiss, we walked hand in hand to the door. Halfway there, she looked over her shoulder, her brow furrowed. “Did you hear that?”
“Hear what?” I immediately stopped walking and pushed her behind me. I scanned the shadows for any sign of movement. “What did it sound like?”
“A footstep.” She bit down on her lip. “Is someone watching us?”
I closed my eyes and listened. There wasn’t a sound, not even a breath or a footstep. She was getting as paranoid as I was, because as far as I could tell, no one was there.
“I don’t think anyone is there,” I said, reaching behind me to squeeze her hand. “Maybe it was a raccoon or something.”
“Yeah. Probably.” She laughed uneasily. “I’m imagining things.”
“Hey, better safe than sorry,” I said, smiling at her. “If you ever think you see or hear something, definitely let me know. You might notice something I don’t.”
“I will.” We reached the door and she waited for me to open it. When I didn’t, she shot me a look. “Uh, are you going to open the door?”
My heart skipped a beat or two, and my palms grew sweaty. Was this a good idea? It was too late to go back now. I’d already made the steps toward this, and I wasn’t one to back down. “You open it.”
She looked at my empty hands first, then up at my face, her brow crinkled. “Okay? Give me your key.”
I crossed my arms. “Why don’t you use your own?”
“Maybe because I don’t have one?”
“Check your back pocket,” I said, my voice low. I really hoped she didn’t freak out or throw the key back at me or tell me I was moving too fucking fast. When she just stared at me, her cheeks flushed, I tapped my foot. “Well? Go on. Check.”
She slid her hand into the wrong pocket, then moved on to the right one. Hopefully it hadn’t slipped out on the ride, or all this show was for nothing. When she pulled her hand out, the little gold key in her fingers, I held my breath and waited to see her reaction.
Slowly, her wide eyes rose from the key until her gaze collided with mine. “You gave me a key? To your place?”
“I did.” I tugged on my hair and shifted on my feet. “If you don’t want it, it’s cool. I just thought it would be nice for you to be able to come over here whenever you wanted, even if I’m not here. You could come here and study, or sleep, or eat, or whatever you wanted even if I’m…”
…not here.
Yeah, I already said that.
I stopped talking and stared at my feet, because I was babbling like a fucking idiot. I didn’t like acting like an idiot, although I’d been doing it way too much lately. Apparently, love and idiocy went hand in hand.
“Finn?”
I lifted my head and dropped my hand. “Yeah?”
“This is so…wow,” she said softly. “Thank you.”
I nodded, not sure what else to say. I wanted her in my home all the time, so I gave her a key. It was simple. “Go ahead and see if it works.”
It did. I already tested it.
But at least it gave her something to do besides stare at me looking all happy and yet somehow sad. It’s like she knew why I was really doing this. Even if I was gone, it would be like she was with me whenever she came here, and that meant something.
She slid the key into the lock and turned it, giving me a shaky smile when it opened. “It works.”
“Good,” I said, my voice gruff. “Go in, then.”
She went inside and flipped on the light, stopping a few steps in. She stood in the middle of the living room area, her eyes on my closet. Not a big shocker there. After all, it became clear, quite quickly, that I’d cleared some space in my closet for her—complete with pink fucking hangers waiting for her shit.
Yeah. Pink.
“Did you…is that…?”
“For you?” I leaned against the door and crossed my ankles, trying to go for casual and unconcerned. “Yeah. Last time I checked, I didn’t use pink. I know it doesn’t go with your hair, but…” I shrugged, even though she wasn’t looking at me. She was still staring at the closet. “I figured that would make the clothes stand out more, since you never wear it. Ya know?”
She walked up to the closet and ran her hands over the pink hangers, then touched my cammies before letting her hand drop to her side. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I crossed the room and came up behind her, resting my hands on her shoulders. I leaned down and kissed the top of her ginger head, breathing in the scent of the shampoo that I’d bought for her. “But are you?” I asked softly. “It’s not like you’re moving in or anything. It’s just an open-door policy.”
She nodded. “You know I’m not going anywhere, right?”
“I know you think that, and I know you want to believe it. And so do I.” I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her close, more so to hide my face from her than anything. And I really didn’t want to fight again. “But I’ve seen a lot more of the world than you have. Shit happens and life is hard. If I leave—”