But it really fucking was.
Even worse? Her father suspected I was hiding something.
I was, but I couldn’t say it yet. Not until my father retired. And the really shitty part about this plan? My silence would only make him hate me in the end.
I couldn’t betray my own father. Not even for my own chance at happiness.
Knowing I’d possibly lost the one chance I had to come clean with the man didn’t exactly sit well, but it was my dad. What was I supposed to do? Throw him under the tires to save myself? Over my dead body.
Still, it sucked ass.
My phone rang, and I crossed the room to pick it up off my bed. Once I saw the number, I relaxed a bit. I’d called my father the other day, after the cryptic lunch with Senator Wallington, but he hadn’t called me back. Dad always called me back right away. “Hey, Dad. It’s about time you returned my call.”
“Hello, son. I heard that you—” he cleared his throat and continued, “that you were getting company out there.”
“Yeah. I kind of expected you to come.” I reclined on my bed, Carrie’s sweater still in my hands. I absentmindedly ran my fingers over the bandage covering my chest. I’d gotten new ink today. “And don’t avoid the question. Why didn’t you call me back?”
I played with her sweater as I waited for Dad to answer. He sounded sluggish tonight. He made a weird moaning sound. “I wasn’t invited to come along, and I was busy.”
I cocked a brow. “Doing what? Guarding the dog? The rest of them are here.”
Dad laughed. “You know how much they love this stupid thing. He asked me to stay behind and take care of her.”
That was a lie. Dad never lied to me.
“You were invited. The senator told me,” I replied, sitting up straight. “He said you were going to come out, but something came up. Then I call, and it takes you two days to get back to me? Tell me the truth—what’s up, Dad?”
“Oh. Okay, then.” Dad sighed, sounding old and tired even through the phone. “I’m sick. I have a pretty nasty flu. It’s knocked me down pretty hard.”
Well, that explained the weak tone of his voice, at least, and the non-visit. I rolled to my feet and went back to packing, balancing the phone on my shoulder and tossing Carrie’s sweater on my pillow. “Oh, that sucks. Are you on the upswing yet?”
He laughed lightly. “I’m trying.”
“Do you want me to let you go to bed? You know rest is the best thing for a flu, right?” I ran a hand over my short hair. I’d gotten it cut earlier this morning. “That and the chicken noodle soup Mom used to make, of course.”
“I am. And I do.” He coughed lightly, then laughed. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. I feel fine most of the time. It just gets worse at night.”
He didn’t sound fucking fine to me. My heart picked up speed. The sound of his weak voice brought back bad memories of Mom lying in bed, slowly wasting away till nothing was there but death. “Are you s-sure? I could come home and check on you—”
“No,” he said, his voice perfectly strong that time. “I’m fine. You focus on your job and stop worrying about me and my stupid virus.”
Which reminded me about the call I’d gotten—and the possible deployment. I couldn’t tell him that shit when he was sick. It could be nothing. And if it was something, then I’d tell him about it after this weekend. I didn’t want him losing sleep when he needed the rest. “If you’re sure…”
“I am.” He cleared his throat again, sounding like he choked back a cough at the same time. “I’m going to go now. I love you.”
I swallowed hard. He sounded like shit. “I love you, Dad.”
I hung up the phone and started to set it down, but my phone vibrated in my hand. A text from Carrie. You home?
I sighed and tried to brush off the phone call with my father. He was sick, but he’d get better and be back to his happy self soon enough. Yeah. Packing for cheerleading camp. You?
I grinned as soon as I hit send. She’d get a kick about where I said I’d be going, and I couldn’t wait to see what her reply was. But it didn’t come.
A few minutes passed, making me grow twitchy and forget all about my dad’s cold. Lately, the texts had been shorter and fewer, making me wonder if she was already pulling away from me. Then I remembered she was with her parents, and I kicked myself in the nuts for being such a neurotic fucking mess all the time.
My phone buzzed and I looked down at it with a hunger that was laughable. Who the hell got so excited to get a fucking text? I’m home.
I pictured her lying in her dorm bed, all alone in a pair of skimpy shorts and a tank top. Was her hair down or in a ponytail? My heart squeezed tight. I shouldn’t miss her this much, damn it. It had only been a few days of no contact. We’d gone longer before, but that had been before we became a couple.
I guess that made a difference in my tolerance. I shook my head and focused on my phone. Going to bed now?
Barely a second passed. Maybe…
It’s either a yes or a no. What’s the hesitance?
Hold on.
The key sounded in the door, and I lurched to my feet. The only other person with a key was Carrie. And if Carrie was here…I didn’t know whether to kiss her or yell at her for being so damn reckless. With her parents in town, the last place she should be is with me.
Her father had said no one was watching us, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t lying. The man was more slippery than an eel in salt water. I didn’t trust him one bit. She walked in, closing the door behind her quickly, her eyes locking with mine. All that mattered was she was here.
A fist of emotion knocked the breath right out of me, making it hard to breathe. I took a stumbling step toward her, then another. Yeah. I wasn’t going to yell at her. I was going to kiss her and hold her and thank God she came to see me because I’d missed her way too much. My fingers itched with the need to touch her, to have her.
All I could manage to say, amidst all the feelings she brought to life with her reappearance, was one word. “Carrie.”
“Before you say anything, I know I’m not supposed to be here.” She leaned against the door and breathed heavily, her eyes on mine. Her gaze dipped lower, lingering on the bandage on my chest, but then she tore her eyes away. “But I have a car now. Dad bought it for me. I told Mom I wanted one and the next day it was there. It’s ridiculous how easy it was, but it got me here, and that’s all that matters.”
I blinked at her. She had a car now? I hadn’t even known she wanted one.
She continued on, obviously not needing a reply from me. “I parked at the store down the street. Then I went inside, left through the back, and walked here. I won’t stay long, so no one will guess where I am. Don’t yell at me.”
I opened and closed my fists. “Why would I yell at you when I could kiss you instead?”
“Then do it already,” she said, her eyes flashing at me.
I let out a broken sound I didn’t even recognize and closed the distance between us. I didn’t stop until I had her pinned against the door, my body glued to hers. I ran my hands all over her, starting at her shoulder, then dipping down her side and brushing against her breast. Her breath hitched in her throat, and I yanked her against my body, knowing I should be sending her away but unable to.
Because I was fucking lost.
“You’re really here,” I breathed. “It’s not another dream.”