It wasn’t hard to picture Kade as Mona described him. Sometimes it seemed, if I just looked hard enough, I could see that same scared little boy in his eyes.
“He kept us all at arm’s length for so long,” she continued. “If he didn’t care about us, then we couldn’t hurt him. Caring about someone left him vulnerable. And he’s never forgotten that.” Mona looked at me. “Now I see him with you, the way he looks at you, and I realize how in love he is, though he may not yet know it himself. And I cry inside, for him and Blane and you, because I don’t know how this can end well.”
I looked at her, stricken. Mona and Gerard had worked so hard for years to build a family with Blane and Kade, and now I was destroying it. What had I done? “I-I’m so sorry,” I stammered, dropping the beans I held back in the bag and clenching my fists to stop them from shaking. “I’ll go. Right now.” I made to stand up, but she grabbed my wrist, holding me firmly.
“No, Kathleen,” she said kindly. “I didn’t say those things to make you leave. You’re a part of this family, I’m just not sure yet what path you’ll take. My heart hurts for you, too. I know you didn’t intend for any of this to happen.” She shrugged. “Who can say when or where love will grow? It’s no more your fault than Blane’s or Kade’s. I don’t blame you.”
The ache in my chest eased a little. I’d been afraid of what Mona had been thinking all this time, seeing me with Blane one moment and Kade the next. But she was right. The future terrified me.
Her hand reached down to grasp mine. “I just want you to know that I’ve grown to love you like I would a daughter, so I’m going to give you some advice, if that’s all right.”
I cleared the lump out of my throat. “Yes, ma’am,” I said softly, reminded strongly of how my own mother would have talked to me.
“It sounds trite, like a cliché, but follow your heart. Don’t let anything else—the past, the future, the what-ifs or ramifications, mistakes made or past hurts—don’t let any of it stop you from going where love leads you. Love is the only thing worth living for, and you’d be surprised at how love can heal all wounds, if given some time.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that love wasn’t in the cards, at least not for me. Fear made me shy away from Blane, and Kade had already made his decision. If I was less selfish, I’d go stay with Alisha rather than soaking up being here with both of them for as long as I could.
“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?”
I turned. Charlotte stood at the edge of the patio.
“No one answered the front door,” she said, her gaze falling to Mona’s and my clasped hands. She looked back up to Mona. “Is Blane around?”
“He should be,” I said, getting to my feet. “I’ll take you to him.”
Charlotte’s smile was stiff.
I felt her eyes boring into my back as I led her inside through the kitchen. “Would you like a cup of coffee or something?” I asked to be polite.
“You don’t have to play the fiancée for me,” she replied. “I know the truth.”
The curt words took me aback. “I wasn’t trying to ‘play the fiancée,’ ” I snapped. “I just have manners. Something you obviously lack.”
Charlotte stood right in front of me. “I saw what you did to Blane,” she hissed. “You broke his heart, and it doesn’t matter if you weren’t sleeping with Kade. There was obviously enough going on that he didn’t consider the possibility that it wasn’t true.” She paused, raising one perfectly arched brow. “That tells me all I need to know about you. Why he’d ever want you back is beyond me.”
Now that we were alone, Charlotte didn’t bother to hide her venom and contempt. All my roiling emotions boiled over into fury at this provocation, and I lashed out.
“You’ve tried everything, and he still won’t sleep with you, will he?” I sneered. I moved closer, my next words low and said with a cold smile, “It takes more than a fancy law degree.”
Her dark skin flushed and her eyes flashed. I stood my ground. If this was going to descend into a catfight, I could hold my own.
“Should I get some popcorn?”
We both turned to see Kade leaning against the doorjamb, a crooked smirk on his face. Blane stood behind him, his face unreadable. I really hoped he hadn’t heard what I’d just said to Charlotte, but there was no way to tell.
Kade cocked his head, saying in an aside to Blane, “I got twenty on the redhead.”
“Blane,” Charlotte said, taking a step away from me, “I was looking for you. Is there somewhere we can talk?”
“In the den,” Blane replied evenly.
Charlotte nodded, preceding him out of the kitchen. Blane glanced back at me before following her but said nothing.
I released a pent-up breath when they were both gone. “I really don’t like her,” I said. “I know she’s supposed to be helping Blane, but I don’t trust her.”
“You don’t trust her because you know she wants to fuck him,” Kade said, pushing himself away from the door and grabbing a can of Coke from the refrigerator.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I snorted, taking a loaf of bread from a cabinet. “Blane can have sex with whoever he wants. I don’t care.”
“Sure you don’t.”
“I’m not talking about this anymore,” I said, getting some deli meat from the fridge. “You want a sandwich?”
“Sure.” He popped the top on the Coke and took a long gulp. “So where are we going to watch fireworks tonight?”
I looked at him strangely. “I have to work.”
“After that.”
“There won’t be any fireworks that late.”
“Then I’ll go buy some,” he said.
I set two plates on the table, grabbing my own Coke before I sat down, a little disappointed there was no Pepsi in the fridge. “Don’t,” I said. “It’s a total waste of money.”
“But you like them.”
I took a bite, shrugging. “So?”
Kade wolfed down his sandwich, while I cut mine and ate half of it. He eyed my other half until I pushed it toward him.
“You don’t want it?” he asked, already picking it up.
I shook my head, smiling as he ate the rest of it in a few big bites. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I said, “I’d better go study. Finals are next week.”
“I could help you study,” Kade said, leaning back in his chair. He wore a white T-shirt and it clung to him in a way that made my mouth water. His hand rested on his stomach as he sprawled, drawing my eye. My gaze fell lower, lingering, until I realized it and hurriedly looked back up.
His blue eyes were staring into mine, the tilt of his lips saying he knew exactly where I’d been looking and exactly what I’d been thinking.
But he was wrong. I hadn’t been imagining… I’d been remembering.
I jumped to my feet. “That’s okay. I’ll be fine on my own.” Which felt patently untrue, but Kade probably thought I meant studying, because he just shrugged and took another drink of his Coke. I watched his throat move as he swallowed before I caught myself staring, then turned and hurried upstairs.
I went downstairs when it was time to go to The Drop, but sneaking by the den didn’t work this time. The door was open and I heard Kade call my name. With a sigh, I walked into the room, straightening my spine, anticipating the disapproval I was bound to get from Blane.
“Seriously. That outfit never gets old.” Kade’s appreciative once-over had me glaring at him, even though a dozen or more men would probably do the same thing to me tonight as they checked out my “holiday” uniform.
Blane’s expression wasn’t disapproving. I couldn’t read what it was, exactly, but his gaze lingered on my thighs, bare midriff, and breasts before our eyes met.