‘Hello, Mr Duke,’ replies Luc. ‘I want to try to reach Southampton before nightfall, so I’m leaving earlier than scheduled.’
‘No problem. I just wanted to warn you there was a bit of rioting outside Ringwood last night. Maybe you should postpone your trip for a couple of days till it blows over. I don’t think your parents would be too happy with you travelling into that sort of hazard. I’m surprised they haven’t assigned a guard to go with you anyway. No offence, I know you’re quite capable, but it’s always better to travel outside with at least two people in case…’
Luc interrupts, ‘I’ll be fine, Mr Duke. I’ll stay clear of Ringwood.’ He clears his throat. ‘This AV’s fully modernised; I’ll be quite safe and I‘m armed. They wouldn’t have let me do the journey if they were worried.’
‘Right you are, Lucas. Well, safe trip now. Send my best to your parents. I’ll get the gates.’
‘Thanks a lot, Mr Duke. See you, Liam.’
The engine starts and the window whirrs up. After some creaking that lasts about twenty seconds, followed by a loud thunk, we start moving and I feel the transition from smooth road surface to rough, uneven ground. The AV’s got good suspension, but crouched down here on the floor I wonder how we’ll be able to stand it – our bones being jolted and our teeth rattling in our heads. Hopefully it’ll be less bumpy once I can sit down properly. Luc said we’d only have to cross rough terrain until we reach the main road. I shift my position slightly.
‘Just stay hidden for a bit longer,’ says Luc. ‘I can still see them in my rear view and I don’t want to switch to blackout in case Duke gets suspicious.’
‘It’s okay, I wasn’t coming out yet,’ I mumble. ‘I’m just trying to get comfy. It’s really bumpy.’
‘I know. I’ll slow down a bit.’
‘No, it’s okay. I’m alright.’ I don’t want him to think I’m whingeing. ‘Maybe just move the bag off my head.’
‘Are you sure? I thought a bag-on-the-head was quite a good look for you.’
‘Yeah, great.’ I feel its weight disappear. ‘Ah, that’s better.’ He whips the blanket off next.
‘You don’t need that now either.’ He smiles down at me.
I can’t believe how sweaty I’ve become. My face must be bright red, my hair plastered all round it in unattractive clumps. My knees are clicking and my left foot’s got cramp. God, only several minutes into our journey and I’m already completely inadequate. What’s Luc going to think of me?
I’ve got more butterflies in my stomach thinking of him, than I do thinking of our mission ahead. Am I really so shallow? I even took special care with my hair and make-up this morning (a lot of good that’s done me, after sweating under an itchy blanket for fifteen minutes). Or is it simply that Luc is the here and now and our adventure still seems quite abstract and distant; not enough to make me feel afraid yet. I hope it’ll stay that way and I’ll face whatever’s out here with calm dignity and poise and not panic like an idiot.
I peer up at Luc while he concentrates on driving. He looks so calm and unfazed. No way on earth could I have done this without him. I don’t have the balls or the connections. I may have come up with the idea, but Luc’s making it happen.
I think of Skye and immediately feel guilty. Is this trip really for her, or is it just an elaborate ploy to get closer to Luc? Honestly… it’s a bit of both. I know the last thing I should be thinking of is my love life. My sister’s dead and she was in love with him. I feel like such a bad person. I imagine her looking down at me thinking how selfish I am to want her own darling Luc, while she’s gone and unable to have him.
But for all my guilt, I’m not really trying that hard to suppress my emotions like I know I should. The feelings run too deep and even if nothing ever happens with him, I’ll still have my daydreams.
Chapter Nine
I met Connor through my brother Tom, a bit of a peace-and-lentils hippy. Always on a march or a sit-in, Tom was the youngest of my three elder brothers and we were really close. He was a long-haired, unshaven darling and I loved him to bits. He always brought waifs and strays home, to the secret delight of Mum, who loved having a houseful of interesting people and the annoyance of Dad, who preferred the quiet life.
But even Dad liked Connor, who was unobtrusive, polite and infinitely helpful. Mum always joked she’d like to trade one of her lazy sons for hard-working Connor.
I’d been seeing Johnny for about a month, when Tom brought Connor home to stay for a few weeks and it was love at first sight. I got crazy butterflies every time he came near. His lazy gentle voice with its soft northern inflection made me swoon and he smelt like heaven.
‘You know you’re always welcome to our guest bedroom, Connor,’ Mum said.
‘Thanks, Mrs Russell. But I’m really happy sleeping in my bus. I guess it’s like my home. If I could park up on your driveway though?’
‘Of course you can. That’s no trouble.’
He’d restored the two-tone red and cream VW camper van himself, and Dad thought it was a marvel. He kept hinting to Mum that he’d like to do a restoration job on a vintage car, but mum wasn’t having any of it.
‘I don’t think so.’ She spread out her hands in mock-horror. ‘We’ve got enough restoration jobs to do on this vintage house, before we progress on to cars.’
Dad reluctantly agreed, but could often be found outside in the driveway, mooning after the beautifully restored camper van.
It was a semi-warm late July Sunday afternoon. One of those days where it’s scorching hot until the sun goes behind a cloud and then you feel like you need your thermal underwear. Connor had been with us for a week now, and we’d just demolished one of Mum’s huge roast dinners. It was a rare occasion where we all happened to be home at the same time – Mum, Dad, Oliver, David, Tom and me – a big family affair with Connor as the guest of honour.
Tom was a strict vegetarian, but Connor had no problem helping us to devour the two huge roast chickens. I regretted the second helping of apple pie and custard I’d thought was such a good idea at the time and decided to get some air in the garden while everyone else watched boring Sunday afternoon sports on TV. I walked around for a bit and then flopped on the rug with my book. Moments later, Connor appeared and lay down beside me. My heart rate doubled at his close proximity.
‘What’ve you got planned for the rest of the day?’ he asked, rolling onto his back and staring up the sky.
‘Not a lot. Going out later for a drink at The Crown.’
‘Am I invited?’
‘I um, I can’t tonight,’ I stammered. I was supposed to be going there with Johnny to meet Abi and Sam, and how would it look if I showed up with Connor.
I had never dared to hope Connor would be interested in me. I had no option now, but to end things with Johnny. He just didn’t compare with this god lying next to me.
‘How about Monday?’ I said without thinking.
‘Great,’ he replied and got up. He went back into the house, leaving me lying there in a fizz of emotion.
That night, I got ready for my night out with Johnny. I was dreading it, knowing I’d have to finish things with him. I hoped I wouldn’t bottle out, but the image of Connor kept floating around in my brain, so I gritted my teeth and prepared myself for an awful evening. I didn’t want to make myself look too nice, but at the same time, I didn’t want Johnny to think I hadn’t even bothered. I ended up settling on a long summer dress that had never really suited me.