Does Golden State Power & Light provide you with satisfactory service? Please answer yes or no.
Further on, there was room for more expansive answers.
In what ways do you believe that Golden State Power & Light service could be improved?
And:
Do you have trouble understanding the details on your Golden State Power & Light bills? If so, please tell us your problem.
Finally:
Golden State Power & Light apologizes to its customers for inconeniences as a result of cowardly attacks on company installations by small-time, would-be terrorists who act in ignorance. If there are ways in which you think such attacks could be ended, please give us your views.
As Oscar O'Brien observed, "If that doesn't make Archambault hopping mad, and tempt him into replying, nothing will."
Law enforcement authorities-the city police, FBI, and the District Attorney's office-when informed of GSP&L's idea, had reacted favorably. The D.A.'s office offered help in examining the thousands of questionnaires when they began coming back.
Sharlett Underhill, executive vice president of finance, whose responsibilities included the Computer Center, met Nim and O'Brien after they were checked through Security. Mrs. Underhill, dressed smartly in a light blue tailored suit, told them, "We are running your Consumer Survey now.
All twelve thousand copies should be out of here and in the mail tonight."
"Eleven thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine of the damn things," O'Brien said, "we don't care about. There's just one we're hoping to get back."
"It would cost us a lot less money," the finance chief said tartly, "if you knew which it was."
"If we knew that, my dear Sharlett, we wouldn't be here."
The trio walked deeper into computer country, past rows of softly bumming metal and glass cabinets, stopping beside an IBM 3800 laser printer which was spitting out questionnaires, ready for mailing in window envelopes.
The top of the single page read:
Golden State Power& Light
CONSUMER SURVEY
We would appreciate your answers,
in confidence, to some important questions.
Our objective is to serve you better.
The name and address followed, then a perforation across the entire page. Below the perforation was the instruction:
TO PRESERVE YOUR ANONYMITY
TEAR OFF AND DISCARD THE TOP
PORTION OF THIS FORM.
NO SIGNATURE OR ANY OTHER
IDENTIFICATION IS REQUIRED.
THANK YOU!
A return business-reply envelope, requiring no stamp, would accompany each questionnaire.
Nim asked, "Where is the invisible ink?"
O'Brien chuckled. "You can't see it, meathead. It's invisible."
Sharlett Underhill went closer to the printer and opened the top. Leaning forward, she pointed to a bottle containing a clear, apparently oily liquid; the bottle was inverted and from it a plastic tube ran downward.
"This is a special assembly put on for this job. TI-ie tube feeds a numbering device linked with the computer. The bottom half of each page is being imprinted with the invisible number. At the same time, the computer is recording which number goes to what address."
Mrs. Underhill closed the cover. At the back of the machine she removed one of the completed questionnaires and carried it to a metal desk nearby.
There she switched on a portable light on a small stand. "This is a 'black' light." As she placed the paper under it, the number 3702 leaped out.
"Damned ingenious," O'Brien said. "Okay, so now we have a number. Then what?"
"When you give me the number which requires identifying," Mrs. Underhill informed him, "it will be entered into the computer along with a secret code, known only to two people-one of our trusted senior programmers and me. The computer will immediately tell us the address to which that particular questionnaire was mailed."
Nim pointed out, "We're gambling, of course, that we'll have a number to give you."
Sharlett Underhill fixed the two men with a steely glare. "Whether you do or not, I want you both to understand two things. I was not in favor of what is being done here because I do not like my department's equipment and records used for what is essentially a deceitful purpose. I protested to the chairman, but be seems to feel strongly about what is being done and I was overruled."
"Yes, we know that," O'Brien said. "But for God's sake, Sharlett, this is a special case!"
Mrs. Underhill remained unsmiling. "Please bear me out. When you have given me the number you hope to get-and I will accept one number only-the information you want will be drawn from the computer, using the secret code I mentioned. But, the moment that has happened, the computer will be instructed to forget all the other numbers and related addresses. I want that clearly understood."
"It's understood," the lawyer acknowledged. "And fair enough."
Nim said, "Changing the subject, Sharlett, did your people have trouble defining and separating that seven-square-mile area we specified?"
"None whatever. Our programming method makes it possible to divide and subdivide our customers into many categories and any geographic area." the executive vice president relaxed as she warmed to a subject she clearly enjoyed. "When properly used, a modern computer is a sensitive and flexible tool. It's also totally reliable." She hesitated. "Well, almost totally."
As she spoke the last words, Mrs. Underhill glanced toward another IBM printer, flanked by a table at which two men were seated. They appeared to be checking computer printouts, one by one, by hand.
O'Brien was curious. "What's happening over there?"
For the first time since they had come in, Sharlett Underhill smiled.
"That's our 'VIP anti-goof squad.' Many public utilities have one."
Nim shook his head. "I work here and I've never heard of it."
They strolled to where the work was being done.
"Those are bills," Mrs. Underhill said, "based on latest meter readings, and due to go out tomorrow. What the billing computer does is separate the bills of several hundred people who are on a special list the mayor, supervisors, councilmen in the various cities we serve, senior state officials, Congressmen, newspaper editors and columnists, broadcasters, judges, prominent lawyers-others like that. Then each bill is inspected, as you're seeing now, to make sure there's nothing unusual about it. If there is, it’s sent to another department and double-checked before mailing. That way, we avoid fuss and embarrassment if a computer, or a person who programmed it, does slip up."
They watched the inspection continue, an occasional bill being extracted and put aside, while Sharlett Underhill reminisced.
"We once had a computer print a monthly bill for a city councilman. The computer tripped and added a string of extra zeros. His bill should have been forty-five dollars. Instead, it went to him as four million, five hundred thousand dollars."
They all laughed. Nim asked, "What happened?"
"That's the point. If he'd brought the bill in, or phoned, everyone would have had a good laugh, after which we'd have torn it up and probably given him a credit for his trouble. Instead, he called a press conference. He showed the bill around to prove how incompetent we are at GSP & L, and said it proved we ought to be taken over by the city."
O'Brien shook his head. "I can hardly believe it."
"I assure you it happened," Mrs. Underhill said. "Politicians are the worst people to magnify a simple mistake, even though they make more than most of us. But there are others. Anyway, it was about then we started our own 'VIP anti-goof squad.' I'd heard about it from Con Edison in New York. They have one. Now, whenever we come across anyone important or pompous or both, we add his-or her-name. We even have a few people in this company on the list."