‘Not little things.’
‘So I forget big things, do I? Would you all say so? Would you, Luce?’
‘No, Mother dear, I should not.’
‘Would you, Daniel?’
‘No, it seems to me an unwarrantable assertion.’
‘Would you, Graham?’
‘No, I should have thought you would have them written on your heart.’
‘Would you, Isabel?’
‘No, I should have thought the opposite.’
‘Would you, Venice?’
‘No, I shouldn’t,’ said Venice, opening her eyes.
‘Would you, James?’
‘No, I should have thought you would remember them.’
‘Would you, Honor?’
‘No, I shouldn’t myself, but Gavin only means you forgot that you saw Father.’
‘He wouldn’t either,’ said Nevill, excitably. ‘He wouldn’t let them say it.’
‘My little boy,’ said Eleanor, lifting him to her knee.
‘He would kill them,’ said Nevill, sitting compliantly on it.
Gavin appeared to be paying no attention.
‘Are you all going to say your own word to me on my last day?’ said Eleanor.
‘You would not think Mother was a person in whom hope would die so hard,’ said Graham.
‘I should like to have one from each of you to carry with me.’
‘Surely we have all said one,’ said Daniel.
‘And they will be easy to remember, as they are all the same,’ said Isabel.
‘It isn’t our fault that it is her last day,’ said Gavin.
‘The boy is upset in some way,’ said Sir Jesse.
‘Yes, of course that is what it is,’ said Eleanor.
‘Come, let us all disperse,’ said Luce. ‘There is no need to make it a melancholy occasion. Mother has things to do before tomorrow. She and I are going to do them together.’
She left the room with her arm in her mother’s. Isabel and Venice and James took the chance to disappear. Sir Jesse withdrew with his grandsons, as was his habit since the loss of his son. Mullet came to fetch the children and led Nevill from the room. Gavin appeared to follow her, but in a moment fell behind and walked up to his grandmother.
‘I saw Father today,’ he said.
‘You are thinking of him, because Mother is leaving you. I am thinking of him too. So you and I are feeling the same.’
‘You are not thinking of him because of that, are you?’
Regan laughed, and Gavin’s face flushed and his eyes filled with angry tears, but he spoke in a simple, controlled manner.
‘Perhaps he will come to the house.’
‘It would seem quite natural, wouldn’t it?’
‘Are you saying what you think is not true?’ said Gavin, looking into her face.
‘No, I am not. I shall never get used to being without him.’
‘This house is his home, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, of course it is, or was.’
‘It is now,’ said Gavin. ‘He hasn’t any other. I could tell he hadn’t another one, like Mother.’
‘How could you tell?’ said Regan.
‘By the way he looked. And by the way he looked at Honor.’
‘Didn’t he look at you too?’
‘Not as much. He never does. That is how I first knew it was Father. And then I looked and saw that it was. And I called to Mother, and she went on. And when I looked back, he was gone.’
‘Where did you see him?’
‘In the dark street that goes from the big shops to the little ones. You know there are two inns there. Mother and Honor were in front of me, and Father came out of one of them. And he saw me first, because I was behind, and then he stood and looked at Honor.’
‘Did he know you saw him?’ said Regan, feeling it wise to draw out the child’s impression.
‘No, I don’t think so. If people who are back from the dead, are the same as other people, Mother ought not to marry Mr Ridley. It is against the’ law. But perhaps this is different.’
‘People can’t come back from the dead, my child.’
‘I think Father has. He looked like that. And he wouldn’t be the very first, would he?’
‘How did he look?’ said Regan, in a gentle tone.
‘Thin and pale, with a smaller face than he used to have. And his hands were small and pale, coming out of the sleeves of his coat. They looked like Mother’s or Luce’s. And he must be smaller himself, because his coat was so large. But I daresay he wouldn’t be quite the same. It must have been cold where he was, because the coat had fur on it; and he had worn it often, because it was mended down the front, and one of the fur cuffs was partly gone.’
Regan’s eyes were fixed on her grandson, and she kept them on his face as she slowly rose to her feet.
‘Where did you say you saw him?’
Gavin told her again, hardly varying his words, and she suddenly took his hand and hurried to the door. In the hall she snatched the first garment she saw, and almost ran out of the house. She was like a person who feels she must get something over, before she can settle to her life. As they drew near the stables, Gavin dragged at her hand and spoke in a weaker voice.
‘I don’t think I need go with you. Father doesn’t want to see me the most. Honor would be better, but one person is enough. It is best to be all together, when a person comes back from the dead.’
Regan threw a glance at his face and then at his house clothes, released his hand and pursued her way. He walked back to the house and mounted to the nursery.
‘Grandma has gone to fetch Father. So Mother will know that I saw him. Everyone will.’
‘What are you saying, Master Gavin?’ said Mullet.
‘Things will be like they used to be. Father will be here again, even if he isn’t the same. And we shall get used to his being different. And I don’t think he is so very. I don’t know if Mother will be here. She may go with Mr Ridley. But Grandma will love Father, whatever he is like. And one person who really loves him, is enough.’
‘I would rather have a father than a mother,’ said Honor. ‘I think all this family would.’
‘He would rather have Father,’ said Nevill. ‘But he would rather have poor Mother too. And she won’t come every day.’
The carriage was heard to pass the house on its way to the gates.
‘It is Grandma going to the town to find Father,’ said Gavin. ‘I told her where I saw him, and what he was like. And she knew it was him.’
‘You did not, Master Gavin!’ said Mullet. ‘It was a cruel thing to do. You don’t mean her ladyship believed you? That you have sent her by herself to find him? It is a dreadful thing to happen. Whatever can we do?’
‘I didn’t send her. She went of her own accord. Children don’t send grown-up people. You know that. She was glad that Father had come back. No one could have been more glad. She didn’t mind going by herself. She didn’t mind even if he was back from the dead.’
‘Grandma loves people, doesn’t she?’ said Nevill.
‘Well, you must play quietly this afternoon, if you really think what you say,’ said Mullet.
‘We ought to be glad he has come back,’ said Gavin.
‘Of course you would be. But it would be a solemn occasion.’
‘Why should it? Solemn things are sad. We were solemn when he was dead. We ought not to be the same when it is the opposite. And Nevill is not being quiet.’
‘He is a coachman,’ explained the latter, handling imaginary reins and also impersonating the horse. ‘He will drive Grandma to find Father. He will drive her fast.’
‘He is too young to understand,’ said Mullet.
‘But if it isn’t true, there isn’t anything to understand.’
‘And you pretended you thought it was true,’ said Mullet, with reproach.
‘He didn’t pretend,’ said Honor, in a tone that made Hatton turn and look into her face.
‘People only pretend ordinary things,’ said Gavin.