I was puzzled to know what to do! Would it be advisable straightway to respect her and give up any attempt to induce her to accord to me favours she had evidently come prepared to accord to a stranger? Or should I treat her as if she was of easy morality, and without circumlocution address to her proposals that I would have made to any other woman I met under similar circumstances, and which I was justified in assuming would not be unwelcome to her? But women are so odd, their ideas of morality so extraordinary! — and some who would in occasions submit themselves without hesitation to the grossest lubricity would on other occasions resent the least attempt at a liberty! At all events ladies that came to Mme. de Saint-Edme's chambers
Mme. de Saint-Edme at once saw that she had unwittingly created an awkward situation — that she had "put her foot" into it! She stood dumbfounded! I begged her to leave us to ourselves.
The situation was piquant! This cousin was the "petite cousine" of authors, the "petite cousine" of youthful amorous indiscretions and yearnings which had not come to anything owing to her early marriage and the subsequent impossibility of rendezvous, — and further, at such a time a woman does not lend herself to amorous adventures. I now found her grown into a beautiful woman, — and under surroundings that (to me, at least) afforded an opportunity of reviving our youthful mutual passion and of carrying it to a satisfactory denouement.
She dropped her eyes in confusion! I took her hands gently in mine, and while assuring her that she could absolutely rely on my discretion I added that if she would like to go away she was at perfect liberty to do so and that I would never breathe a single word as to this meeting. But as my noble and chivalrously virtuous declaration did not produce any response, the mere man in me began to assert itself — and imperiously too! — as I contemplated the tumultuous heaving of her breasts under her dainty corsage and the betrayal by them of her emotions!
"Speak, Gilberte!" No answer. "Would you like me to go away?" Still silence.
could hardly expect to be considered as strictly virtuous — and Gilberte must rank herself with them! But our cousinly relationship — which at an ordinary society function would have assisted me — here was a positive handicap to both of us: I represented to Gilbert her family, her respectability, her past life, her girlish days!
I must confess that the memories of these latter were such as afforded to both of us a pretext for reviving the past in the present. In our youthful amusements we had not troubled to respect our mutual modesty I Stolen kisses, caresses of tongue against tongue, indiscreet ramblings of inquisitive hands under clothes, — all had brought us to the very threshold of the supreme pleasure. One day, when hidden in a barn with her, my hand had found its way to her little girlish cunny which it strove to excite by an active finger — while her little hands were amusing themselves with my prick as it stood rampant and stiff in her honour! But nothing else had transpired, and we had not met again, until now.
I reminded her of this, — she smiled, and little by little let fall her constraint, whether real or simulated.
"Don't speak of it!" she said — "we were sillies!"
"We certainly were, because we did not take advantage of our opportunities! But now that we have so unexpectedly met?…"
"Tell me, — didn't you know who I was when you came in?"
"Honestly, I did not."
"Well, suppose that you had made me out, would you then have come in?"
"It is possible that I might have considered it better in your interests to disappear, — but I should have done so with great regret, for you were looking so lovely! And you? — if you had recognised me?"
"I should have run away!"
"But why? Do you think I cannot appreciate your charms as well as any one else?"
"Oh!.. But you and another man are two very different things! — you are a relative — and I had not come here for the purpose of meeting my family."
"I don't suppose you did!" I replied laughing. "But it is so easy for us to forget that we are relatives. I have only to think of you as a charming young lady I have for the first time met, — and you have only to allow me to make to this charming young lady declarations and proposals to which I am sure she would like to listen much more than to remonstrances she might fear!"
"It seems to me so strange that I should be here at all with you! — I feel my presence here is so extraordinary — so upsetting!"
"Then, if we were to go on with our last meeting in the old barn, the sin (if any) would seem to you to be less grave and less piquant, — in fact almost allowable, as in marriage?"
"You're talking nonsense!.. Of course not!.. But to be seen by you here makes me feel as if everybody I know is also looking at me!"
"Then you don't care about doing this sort of thing before the world?"
Gilberte laughed frankly. I saw at once to what extent I should have adopted a false policy and how weak I should have been had I treated with an excess of respect a girl who, although my cousin, had of her own accord come to a house resorted to only by those who wished for a gratification of their sexual passions and desires! In fact, with any one else but her, I would before now have put myself in possession of charms which would have been surrendered to me kindly, — while had she been with any one else but me, she would not have concealed them from the eyes and no doubt the kisses of her happy companion!
"Well," I continued, "I don't know who you are, — it is the first time I have seen you. Mme. de Saint-Edme told me that she would introduce me to a charming girl who was visiting her for the first time, who proves to be even prettier that I could have anticipated, and who will, I trust, prove not less unkind than the others to whom Madame has introduced me and who have been good enough to amuse themselves with me here. May I ask what is your Christian name?"
"Gilberte," she replied laughing.
"Gilberte! What a pretty name! Well now, Gilberte, let me help you to take off your hat and cloak."
When I had hung these up; I passed my arm round her waist and kissed her on her mouth clasping her to me as I did so.
"You come here very seldom, I understand?" I said, — "I have not had the good fortune to meet you before."
"This is my first visit, Monsieur," she replied, entering into the spirit of the game.
" Really! But I think it cannot be the first time that you have left your husband in the lurch-for you look to me like a young married woman?"
"You are indiscreet, Monsieur!"
"Weel — I won't press my curiosity any further! — at all events it is very sweet of you to allow others to share with him in enjoying your charms."
Seating myself on a sofa, I drew her gently on to my knees, — I repeated my kisses on her mouth while my hand wandered inquisitively over her corsage. She laughed, — then exclaimed "Oh! Monsieur!" in the most natural way.
Then my hand descended a little, and pressed against and between her thighs over her dress. Her hand tried to push mine away! I yielded, — but only to pull up her skirts, in order to touch the bare flesh of what I had been feeling over her clothes! Gently I groped her calves, knees and thighs.
"Oh I… what are you doing, Monsieur?"
"Only trying to learn if you wear your garters above or below your knees. "' Above, always!"
You have such sweet calves!" My hand climbed a little higher, — her skin was so soft and sweet!
"Oh!.. oh!.. you're tickling me!.. No!.. no!.."
"Why!.. your drawers are closed in front!.."
"Ha!.. ha!.. oh! take away your hand!.. you're tickling me!.."
"Oh!.. now I've got to it!.. Oh!.. what a lot of hair you have! Ever so much more than you had in the barn!"
"What barn?
"Ah!.. pardon me!.. I was forgetting!"
In spite of the re-appearance of the cousin under the lover, she did not stop or even hinder my delicious rovings among and over her most secret charms! This proceeding no doubt pleased her better than any sentimental modesty on my part, — it also pleased me better! Arranging her comfortably on my knees, my hand set to work to explore the delightfully rounded contours of her bottom — which I found plump, firm and springy.