"Yes sir. What're you getting at, sir?"
"You talked to Voss? Ask him if he told anybody?"
"Why, sir?"
"If you only told two people, one of them told somebody else. I'd guess Landtroop. You said he was under the same pressure. You should make sure." He's being intentionally dense. Doesn't want to involve his friends, doesn't want to risk his faith hi them. Maybe he figures he'll lose his best friend if he questions Vossbrink. A very insecure young man. "You need to isolate the leak. It could give you a handle. Get back to me after you talk to Voss. I'll think on it meantime."
"All right, sir." He isn't pleased. He wants miracles. He wants me to push a magic button and make everything right. It's a nasty little habit we humans have, wanting an easy way out. "Thanks for the coffee, sir."
"You're welcome." It would help if he could give me a name. I could corner the predator and threaten him with my book. Power of the press, what? But Kriegshauser won't reveal it. I don't have to ask to know that. The fear in nun is obvious.
There could be a second side, too. We humans, even when we try, tend to tint the facts.
Kriegshauser might be doing more than tinting.
My proposed book is a for-instance. I want to be objective. I plan to be objective. Of course. But how objective can I be? I saw little of Command and wasn't impressed by what I did see. I identify with the fighting men too much already. I'm too much tempted to ignore the reasons why they have to endure this hell....
I snort in self-mockery. I'm a powerful man. One reason these people won't open up is that they're afraid of what I'll do to them in print. So I'm a species of eido after all.
The occasional threat might have amazing results.
Yanevich says that clown Tannian has ballyhooed my presence since I boarded the Climber. He's promised all Confederation a report from inside, the true story of the everyday life of heroes.
His PR people are good. Half the population will be waiting breathlessly. Oh, ye mighty megaConmarks, gather ye in mine account—
I think Fearless Fred is going to be pissed. I think he assumes I'll follow the Party line.
Can I really do it straight? I really am afraid I won't give the broader picture that shows why Command does things that make the men in the trenches furious.
My real coup, arranging participation in a Climber mission, didn't reside in getting the Admiral to agree. The man is publicity-mad. No, it was getting the predators senior to Tan-nian to guarantee not to interfere with what I write. I conned them. They think I have to show the warts or the public won't believe.
Maybe the coup isn't that great, though. Maybe they outsmarted me. Tannian's foes are legion, and bitter. A lot of them reside in Luna Command. The guarantees could be a ploy to discredit the popular hero.
I haven't found anything but warts. So many warts that an imp voice keeps telling me to hedge my bets, to be sure I get past not only Tannian but that coterie of Admirals eager to defame him.
After talking to Kriegshauser, I clamber into my hammock. It's been an exhausting few days.
The loss of Johnson's Climber finally rips through the shroud of more immediate concerns. I replay the entire incident, looking for something we might have done differently. And end up shedding tears.
I give up trying to force the gates of slumber and go. looking for the cat. Fearless confesses this confessor. He's awfully patient with me.
He remains as elusive as the eido.
Despite the long, enforced proximity of the patrol, I've begun feeling lonely. I've begun detecting traces of the same internal desolation on other faces.
I'm not unique in remembering our sisters. The long, leave-me-alone faces are everywhere. It's a quiet ship today.
Our ship and Johnson's had an unofficial relationship for a long time, a romance that was a metal wedding, a family understanding. The two hunted and played together through a dozen patrols and leaves, beginning long before anyone in either crew came aboard. In the Climbers that makes an ancient tradition.
I find myself asking a bulkhead, "Do Climbers mate for life?" Will we, like some great, goofy bird, now go hunting our own demise? Have we become a rogue bachelor?
An inattentive part of me notes that the bulkhead has grown a layer of feltlike fur, like bluegreen moleskin. I touch it. My finger leaves a track. I wander off, forgetting it.
In Engineering I find a surly Varese supervising two men cleaning the guts of a junction box with what smells like carbolic. "What's up?"
"Fucking mold."
I recall the moleskin wall. "Ah?" I don't see anything here.
In Weapons half the off-watch are scrubbing and polishing. The carbolic smell is overpowering.
Here the fur is everywhere, on every painted surface. It has a black-green tinge. The paler green paint seems to be the mold's favorite snack.
"How the hell does it get in here?" I ask Holtsnider. "Seems it'd be wiped out going through TerVeen."
"They've tried everything, sir. Just no way to get every spore. It comes in with crew, food, and equipment."
Well. A distraction. Instead of pining about dead women, I can research mold.
It's an Old Earth strain that has adapted to Canaan, becoming a vigorous, fecund beast in the transition. Left unchecked, it can pit metal and foul atmosphere with its odor and spores. Though more nuisance than threat, it becomes dangerous if it reaches sensitive printed circuitry. The heat and humidity of Climb encourage explosive growth. Climber people hate it with an unreasoning passion. They invest it with a symbolic value I don't understand.
"Who won the pool?" I ask as I enter Ops, still having found no sign of Fearless.
Blank faces turn my way. These men are busy with mold and mourning, too.
Laramie catches on. "Baake, in Weapons. The little shit-head."
Rose nods glumly, head bobbing on a pull-string. He says, "He only bought one goddamned slip. To get us to quit bothering him. Ain't that a bite in the ass?"
"Better.get him to teach you his system," Yanevich suggests, with a heaviness that implies this scene has been played before. "You only need one when it's the right one."
"Useless goddamned electric moron." Rose kicks the main computer. "You screwed me out of a month's pay, you know that? What the fuck good are you if you can't figure out..."
Laramie and Throdahl bait him halfheartedly. Others join in. They start to show some spirit.
It's a distraction, the cut-low game. Not an amusement anymore. They go at it viciously, but no tempers flare. They're too drained to get mad.
Throdahl's comm gear pings gently. The games die. Work stops. Everyone stares at the radioman.
We're lying dead in space beside the instelled beacon. The rest of the squadron is parsecs away.
We assume that we'll be ordered to catch up.
Command has other ideas. Only now does Fisherman tell me we've been awaiting special orders.
That little ping brings the Commander swinging down from his cabin, an ape in a metal jungle.
"Code book," he calls ahead. Chief Nicastro produces the key he wears on a chain around his neck.
He opens a small locker. The closure is symbolic. The box is hardly more than foil. A screwdriver could break it open.
The Chief takes out a looseleaf book and pack of color-coded plastic cards banded with magnetic stripes.
"Card four, Chief," the Commander says after a glance at the pattern on Throdahl's screen. He slides the card into a slot. Throdahl thumbs through the code book. He uses a grease pencil to decode on the screen itself.
Only the initial and final groups translate: COMMANDER'S
EYES ONLY and ACKNOWLEDGE.
Muttering, the Old Man scribbles the text groups in his notebook, clambers back to his hideout.
Shortly, a thunderous, "Jesus fucking Christ with a wooden leg!" rips through the compartment.
Pale faces turn upward. "Throdahl, send the acknowledge. Mr. Yanevich, tell Mr. Varese to establish a lock connect with the beacon."