Sarah, nearly blinded by her tears, ran from the castle, ignoring the concerned words from the servants as she passed. She ran out into the mid-day sun, careless of where she went; she just needed to escape.
She nearly tripped, and decided to stop, collapsing against a large oak. She could not get the vision out of her mind. There in the bathing chamber stood her husband. He was naked, but had breasts! Sarah had seen them, and had nearly passed out from shock. Thinking perhaps it was a trick of nature, her gaze had traveled down to see no penis. Only a dark patch of hair, so much like her own.
A woman!
What sort of trickery was this? What part was Sarah to play in this game of emotions and deceit?
She swiped angrily at her eyes, but more moisture continued to fall, making the greens of the grass and blue of the sky blend and become confused.
Could this be why Fallon was so insistent on not showing himself to Sarah? Could it have been this secret? But why was he hiding this? Why was he doing this?
"Can he even be called a he anymore?" she cried, letting the tears fall into her lap, making dark spots on her yellow dress. It was so absurd, and she felt a pang of hurt and fear strike through her heart. Was their marriage even legal? Certainly not in the eyes of the Church, let alone the law.
"He made love to me," she whispered, now realizing all that went with this charade. "How?" She remembered specifically seeing that Fallon was most definitely a woman. In every meaning of the word.
Fallon rode her horse, his hooves pounding into the ground, soft after the rains from the previous night. She rode him hard, wanting to try and lose herself in him. Wanting to forget about the fact that her life was falling apart at her feet.
All because of one stupid lie.
The warrior could feel the tears beginning to sting behind her lids. She let them fall, needing to release her pain and anguish. All her life she wanted to be happy and fulfilled. Deep down in parts she was loath to admit to, she knew that Sarah could make her happy. She also knew she could have made Sarah happy.
Oh, if only given the chance.
Fallon had no doubt she’d be hung for this. Sarah would run to the church, or her father, and it would certainly end in the brunette’s own death, as well as that of her father. The alliance wouldn’t be necessary after all. The house of Aragon would be no more.
The warrior dismounted, her horse panting and in need of water. She led him to the small lake to drink, and for her to think.
The thought of dying was fine with her. She felt she was worth nothing else anyway.
Finding a log, she sat on the ground with her lower back against it. Picking up a wild flower, she twisted it in her fingers, watching how the brightly colored petals shone in the sun. It almost seemed to mock her with its beauty.
Setting it aside, she closed her eyes and raised her face to the warming rays of the sun.
Soft footfalls made their way across the grassy field, long skirts swishing against the long blades. Blue eyes opened to see the image of beauty herself walking toward her. Sarah’s long hair was down, free about her shoulders and back. Green eyes were staring out over the calm waters as she got closer.
"Hello, Fallon," she said once she reached the warrior. There was no malice in her soft voice, though no love in it, either. She seemed calm and determined.
"Milady." The brunette bowed her head in respect for the lady in her presence. Without being obvious, Fallon drank in the visage before her. She had not seen Sarah in days, and had missed her greatly. She’d missed her beauty, the calmness that the small blonde instilled within her breast. Her aura.
"I’ve come to ask you a question." Sarah stood a few paces away, hands clutching her kerchief in front of her like a shield.
"Alright. I will answer." Fallon stood, motioning toward the log for Sarah to sit, which she did. The brunette leaned against the trunk of a nearby tree. "Please, ask away."
Sarah arranged her skirts and her thoughts, then cleared her throat. She garnered the courage to meet Fallon’s gaze.
"Why did you do it?"
"Our houses needed the alliance. I have no brothers of marrying age, so this was the best way," the warrior answered, clear and simple.
"For whom?"
"For the people of our lands. Your father needed an ally, as did my own. My father thought this the best way." Fallon ran a nervous hand through her hair, brushing it back away from her face. As Sarah looked up into that face, she realized what had been so different about her husband. Though he was undoubtedly strong, he had a bit of softness about him. A beauty that she had not seen in neither male or female. A truly unique person.
"And what of the things we’ve done?" Sarah looked down at her fidgeting hands, feeling ashamed and bashful.
"Milady, our marriage had to be consummated for it to be valid. You know how the nobles are. They’d try and find any such way to say it’s not so."
Sarah’s eyes flashed angrily up at the warrior.
"And is it consummated, Fallon? A marriage is between a man and a woman! Love is made between a man and a woman. I see no man here!"
Fallon flinched at the truth in those words. She felt her emotions coming to the surface again for the pain she heard in the young woman’s voice.
"I am sorry, Sarah." She met the tortured gaze with one of her own. "I never meant to hurt you."
Sarah opened her mouth to release a scathing remark, but snapped it shut instead. She had no desire to hurt this gentle . . . woman, before her who had shown her nothing but kindness.
"And what of the other times?" was nearly whispered, unable to look at the woman before her.
Fallon sighed, thinking indeed, what of the other times. She sighed again, stripping a bit of bark off the tree she leaned against and turning it around and around in her fingers.
"I have grown to care about you deeply, Sarah. I have felt drawn to you."
"But you knew I was a woman." Sarah searched those amazing blue eyes, trying to find some sort of ground to grab onto in them. As of that moment, she felt utterly lost and alone.
"Yes," Fallon admitted, finally able to meet the demanding gaze of her wife. "But you made me feel, Sarah. I felt something I had never felt. Even that first night," she whispered.
Sarah looked at her, absorbing what she was being told. She felt those words were true in her own heart, but was still so confused as to know what to do.
"You know, all this time I had not become with child and thought it was me." Sarah laughed ruefully. "I thought I was failing you as a wife."
"Far from it, milady. You are everything a husband could want. Please do not take this burden upon yourself."
"What am I to do, Fallon?" she asked. "I am spoiled, no good to a husband now. And our marriage is not valid."
"I’ve thought of this. We shall fake my death, Sarah. I die, and you inherit all the lands and have a home. From there," Fallon looked down, the last part painful, "you can go on to find love with a man."
Sarah looked at the warrior, stunned at her generosity. "Fallon, you are kind, and have a big heart to suggest such. I do not know if I could ruin your life so. You will no longer have an identity. Where would you go?"
"I do not know, and it doesn’t matter. I wish for you to be happy, Sarah. That is all. And if it means this for me, then so be it." She pushed off the tree, tossing her mutilated piece of bark to the shore. "I only want you to know I never meant to hurt you. This is very important for me."
"I understand, and believe you, Fallon. That is your real name, is it not?"
"Yes." Fallon smiled just a bit, then looked down again.
"Hmm. Well," Sarah stood, wiping the back of her skirts. "I must go. Thank you for your honesty."
"Yes, milady." Fallon bowed deep, never seeing the little blonde take her leave.
Sarah roamed the halls of the castle that she had come to know so very well. Like a phantom, her shadow passed across the walls and floor. Her footfalls could not be heard, nor the breaking of her heart.