“Charlotte is NOT pregnant, I swear. We don’t even want kids! I love her and she loves me. I want to spend the rest of my life with her,” Gavin tells Jim, circling the table to get away from him.
“Jim, stop trying to kill Gavin. I have a meeting I’m late for,” Liz complains.
“Calm down, Jim. They’re probably just having anal. Anal doesn’t count,” Drew announces.
Gavin laughs and Jim stops moving, glaring at him across the table.
I really feel like I should do something to stop this. Gavin is my best friend and I don’t want to see him get the shit kicked out him by his future father-in-law. Glancing around the room I see that Ava never came back after getting Liz and her Aunt Claire so it’s now or never.
The word-vomit starts flowing before I even think about what I’m doing. “I’m pretty sure I might be falling in love with Ava, I’m a certified Brony, I let Ava spank me with a My Little Pony tail and my safe word is pancakes.”
Before I can recover my breath from my outburst, Jim’s fist connects with my cheek and stars burst in front of my eyes. The next thing I know, I’m hitting the floor with a groan.
“Dude, my safe word is ‘waffles.’ I knew I liked you for a reason,” Drew states, staring down at me.
He holds out his hand out and helps me up to my feet while I cradle one hand against my cheek that’s screaming in pain.
Everyone stands around with their mouths wide open staring at Jim, waiting to see what he’s going to do next. Hopefully he’s not going to hit me again because Jesus fuck that hurt.
“Well, I feel better. Let’s go plan this proposal,” Jim states, shaking the soreness from his hand as he turns and walks out of the room.
Chapter 19 - Interstate
- Ava -
I try to steady myself on the sidewalk as Charlotte turns away from me to greet her best friend Rocco, but the entire street continues to swirl in front of me and I have a feeling I’m going to tip over if I don’t grab onto something.
I’ve been a little out of sorts since I realized I might be in love with Tyler. I told Charlotte she needed to take me out tonight so I could spend some time away from him and get my head on straight. Unfortunately, I decided to get a head start with a few people from work. By the time Charlotte pulled up to the bar in a cab to get me, my head was long gone at the bottom of a few glasses of booze.
“Why is your sister sprawled on top of a stack of chairs?” I hear Rocco ask as the two of them walk towards me.
I lift my head and yep, I found a nice, comfy stack of chairs right outside the restaurant to lean against.
“I can’t stand. Someone fucked up the sidewalk and it’s all uneven,” I complain as Charlotte grabs one of my arms and Rocco grabs the other, pulling me off of the chairs.
Rocco looks down at the ground and then back up at me. “Sweetie, why are you only wearing one shoe?”
I quickly look down and notice he’s right. No wonder I can’t walk. Why the hell do I only have on one shoe?
“I lost a shoe. Son of a fuck, I LOST A SHOE!”
I’m screaming. I know I’m screaming and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Charlotte and Rocco hold onto me as they both examine my feet.
“How the hell did you lose a shoe?” Charlotte asks as I lift into the air a foot that’s missing one nude Lauren Conrad platform heel, wiggling my naked toes.
“THAT FUCKING CAB STOLE MY LC SHOE! FUCK YOU CAB!” I shout, shaking my fist in the air at the cab that pulled away ten minutes ago.
Charlotte pushes me into Rocco and tells him to keep an eye on me for a minute as she runs inside a corner store next to the restaurant.
“You’re really cute, Rocco. We should make out,” I tell him, trying not to slur as I rest my head on his chest and he wraps his arms around me.
Rocco is a great guy and even though he’s one of Charlotte’s best friends, he’s quickly become my friend, too. He endeared himself further when he pretended to be Charlotte’s boyfriend a few months ago to make Gavin jealous. I wonder why Charlotte never dated him?
“You’re really drunk, and I’m still gay,” he reminds me.
Oh, that’s right, he’s gay.
“Plus, your sister already informed me that you’re in love with Tyler. Is that why you’re a hot mess tonight?” he continues.
I push away from him and put my hands on my hips. “I am NOT a hot mess, I’m FABULOUS!”
Rocco looks me over from head to toe. “Ghetto fabulous, maybe. You’re wearing one shoe and that black eyeliner is staging a protest as it runs down your face in fear.”
He puts his hands on either side of my face and uses his thumbs to swipe away the mess under my eyes.
“You know, there’s nothing wrong with being in love with Tyler,” he tells me softly. Before I can argue with him, Charlotte comes back outside with a bag in her hand. “Alright, dumbass, I got you a pair of shoes. Give me your foot.”
Rocco holds me tighter as I let Charlotte remove my one, lonely shoe and replace it with a pair of flats. I’m too drunk to care that I’m letting a cheap pair of shoes from a corner store touch my feet.
“Alright, let’s go get some food in you to sop up some of that alcohol,” Charlotte announces as we make our way into the restaurant.
After we’ve been seated and our orders taken, Charlotte and Rocco sit across from me silently, waiting for me to start talking.
I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to think about the fact that I’m so totally in love with Tyler that I want to cry. I just want to drink more and forget all about it.
“WHOSE FUCKING SHOES ARE THESE?” I yell, staring down at the ugly black and white slip-on flats.
Charlotte shakes her head at me. “Dude, I just bought you those at the store, remember?”
Whatever, she’s totally lying. Someone stole my shoes and replaced them with these monstrosities.
“So, let’s talk. Why are you so afraid of falling in love?” Rocco asks, taking a sip of his wine.
I lean forward, smacking my hands down on the table so hard the glasses and plates clink together. “I am NOT afraid of falling in love! I love falling in love. Falling in love is lovely and I love love.”
“She’s never been in love before, that’s her problem,” Charlotte pipes up.
“I have too been in love before!” I argue.
She cocks her head at me. “Name one time.”
I’d close my eyes and try to think but I’m afraid the room will swirl too fast and I’ll fall out of my chair. After a few seconds, I snap my fingers excitedly.
“Two years ago, March 17th. It was a Monday and the time was exactly 8:54 pm. I fell in love so hard that it took my breath away. It was so hard and so good. Mmmmmm, hard and good and big and I felt so full…of love and stuff,” I slur.
“I’m very uncomfortable with this conversation right now,” Rocco mumbles.
“Didn’t you get your first Michael Kors bag two years ago?” Charlotte questions suspiciously.
I shrug, slumping back in my chair as the waiter comes over to the table and begins setting plates of food down in front of us.
“Michael Kors will always be my first love. He gives great purse.”
Rocco nods, picking up his glass of wine and tilting it in my direction. “Amen, sister.”
Charlotte huffs. “Ava, stop being difficult and talk to us. I know it’s a scary thing to be in love for the first time, but it’s also amazing. Tyler is a nice guy. Sure, he’s got a few kinky fetishes, but who cares? He’s in love with you and he treats you better than any guy you’ve ever been with.”
I will not drunk cry, I will not drunk cry.
“Who doesn’t have kinky fetishes?” Rocco asks. “I once dated a guy who could only get it up if I played track ten on the Oklahoma soundtrack. Do you know what track ten is on the Oklahoma soundtrack? It’s ‘The Farmer and the Cowman.’ As soon as he heard the words ‘One man likes to push a plough, the other likes to chase a cow,’ he would come like a wild man. He gave great head, so who was I to argue?”