"Oh, sweetie, look at that long face! Who's been upsetting you this time? Honestly, darling, I can't leave you alone for a minute. It's a good thing your little Nimue is here, to take care of you!" She kissed him artlessly, took a sip of his drink, pulled a face, and squeaked a few baby swear words, then kissed him again and called him a Silly old bear. Merlin slowly smiled, then laughed and played with her breasts while she giggled happily. I was trying hard to keep my mouth from dropping open. This was the legendary witch Nimue?
"This is Nimue," said Merlin, after a while, looking back at me. "My only comfort. Nimue, this is John Taylor."
She pouted childishly at me. "Are you the one that's been upsetting my sweetie? Shame on you! Go on, Merlin; show me how to turn him into something squelchy."
"Hush, child," said Merlin. "He's come a long way to beg my help. I'm still considering whether to do anything about it."
"This is the witch Nimue?" I said, somehow keeping the disbelief out of my voice.
"Indeed," said Merlin, removing one hand from inside her dress to scratch at his great beak of a nose. "A renegade Druidic priestess, and now my student in the magical arts. Of all my various roles, I have always enjoyed that of teacher the most."
"That's not all you enjoy, you randy old goat," said Nimue, snuggling contentedly up against the sorcerer. "Running away from the Druids was the best thing I ever did." She looked plaintively at me with her huge dark eyes. "My parents sold me to them when I was only a child, but I never really fitted in. I was quite keen on the nature worship, and running around the forest with no clothes on, and having lots of sex to ensure the fertility of the crops, but I found all the human sacrifices and Nail his guts to the old oak tree very icky. So I grabbed a bit of everything valuable that wasn't actually nailed down, and left." She pouted suddenly, and playfully boxed Merlin's ear. "And you promised you'd teach me magic. Real magic. When are you going to teach me some real magic, sweetie?"
"All in good time," said Merlin, taking one of her ear-lobes playfully between his teeth.
"That's all very well, honey," said Nimue, pushing him away and sitting up straight on his lap. "But in the meantime, I have various tradespeople who insist on being paid. A girl has to live, darling ..."
There was a lot more of this. Nimue chattered away, while Merlin smiled on her indulgently, and the two of them cuddled like teenagers. I didn't know what to say. This was Nimue? The powerful and crafty witch who stole Merlin's heart and ran off with it? This cute and harmless little gold-digger? I turned round in my chair to look at Suzie and Tommy, but they were clearly as thrown as I, so I got up, excused myself to Merlin and Nimue, who barely nodded in return, and the three of us retired to another table to think things over. It was clear Merlin wouldn't be paying us any attention for a while anyway.
"She seems like a sweet young thing," said Tommy. "Though I can't help thinking he's a bit old for her."
"She's not nearly as helpless as she makes out," said Suzie. "I've seen her sort before, taking some old fool for everything he's got."
"The man's domestic arrangements are none of our business," I said firmly. "What matters is that for all his drunken self-pity, that man is clearly still a powerful sorcerer. If anyone in this period can send us further back in Time, it's him."
"But you heard him," said Tommy. "He doesn't care about us, or our problems."
"Don't care was made to care," I said.
Suzie looked at me for a long moment. "That's pretty hard-core, even for you, Taylor. I mean, this is Merlin we're talking about. The Devil's only begotten son. We don't have a hope in Hell of compelling him to do anything he doesn't want to."
"I've been thinking about that," I said. "And it occurred to me that since this witch Nimue is obviously quite incapable of stealing Merlin's heart... maybe we could do it instead. And with the heart in our hands, Merlin would have to do whatever we told him to."
They both looked at me like I was crazy.
"You're crazy!" said Tommy. "I mean, full-blown out of your head crazy! We're actually supposed to rip the living heart out of his chest? Merlin? The most powerful sorcerer of this or any other age? You're crazy!"
"Don't hold back, Tommy," I said. "Tell me what you really think."
"Even if we could incapacitate Merlin," said Suzie, "it would be pretty messy ... I've removed a few hearts in my time, but I never had to worry about them being in good enough shape to put them back again."
"Don't encourage him," said Tommy. "We'll all end up as snot creatures."
"It's not as impractical as it sounds," I said patiently. "A lot of sorcerers would remove their hearts and hide them elsewhere, behind powerful magical protections, for safekeeping. That way, no matter what happened, they couldn't be killed as long as the heart was still safe. Using the correct rites, Merlin's heart can be removed without killing him, and once we have it, we'll be in control. Look-we know someone's going to steal the heart, at some stage. Why not us? We'll do less damage with it than most."
"I don't like this," Tommy said flatly. "I really don't like this. In fact, I straight out hate it."
"He's got a point," said Suzie. "If we interfere in the Past..."
"Who's interfering?" I said. "We know someone took Merlin's heart. We've all seen the hole in his chest. You could say by doing this, we're helping to reinforce the Present we came from."
"I don't care," Tommy said stubbornly. "This isn't right. We're using the man, maybe even killing him, just to get what we want."
"What we need," I said. "We have to stop Lilith, by whatever means, to save the Nightside, and probably the world as well."
"But... what about this, as another alternative," said Tommy, leaning eagerly forward across the table. "Remember the knights in armour we saw in Old Father Time's Waiting Room? The ones from a future where Camelot and its dream still held sway? What if we are here ... to bring about that future? We have a chance to change everything. Camelot doesn't have to fall, here and now. If Merlin never lost his heart, and most of his power... maybe we could bring him back to sanity and pride. Give him a reason to live again. We could tell him what's coming, warn him of the Dark Ages that will last for almost a thousand years, if he doesn't act to prevent it. Advised by us, he could rise to power and influence again, and backed by him, Camelot could rebuild itself. King Arthur's legacy could continue!"
"Advised by us," I said. "Don't you mean, advised by you, Tommy? You're the one who's always been fascinated by Arthur, and this time."
"All right, why not?" Tommy said defiantly. "I've always loved the legends of Camelot. It was a better world under Arthur, and a brighter world, than we have ever known before or since! Think of what fifteen centuries of progress under Arthur's legacy could bring about... Maybe we wouldn't even need a Nightside any more."