“No, I’m okay.” He worked his jaw from side to side. “It looks worse than it feels.” He let out a slow breath. “He cried, Kathleen. He swung at me and then he started to cry.”
I felt the prickle of tears myself but I swallowed them away because this wasn’t about me. “What do you need?” I asked.
He let go of my hand so he could rake his own through his hair. “They’re both coming over to the house tonight. We, uh, we want to do something—I don’t know, maybe some kind of memorial service for the people she worked with and her friends. I thought maybe we could plan something.”
“That’s a nice idea,” I said. “What about Dani’s family?”
“There’s just an older brother and her grandmother. John is going to try to contact the brother.”
“So how can I help?”
“Will you come tonight?” he said. “I know you didn’t really know Dani but—”
I cut him off before he could finish the sentence. “I would be honored.”
He smiled and I saw some of the stress ease in his face. “I have to get to the station,” he said. “Hope is waiting to find out when we can expect the medical examiner to be finished.”
“All right,” I said. “I’ll see you tonight. If you need me before then—”
“I’ll call, I promise.”
I laid my hand gently against his cheek. “I love you,” I said.
He swallowed hard, pushing down some emotion. “I love you, too,” he said.
I walked Marcus downstairs and after he left Susan came around the desk to me. “I heard about Marcus’s friend,” she said, touching my arm. “I’m so sorry. If there’s anything you need to do we can hold down the fort here. I can call Mia in.”
News spread quickly in Mayville Heights, but I could see the genuine concern in her eyes and once again I realized how lucky I was to be in the small town with people who genuinely cared about me. As much as I sometimes missed my family back in Boston, Mayville Heights was my home now.
I had to clear my throat before I could answer her. “Thank you, Susan,” I said. “There isn’t anything I can do right now, but I might take you up on your offer later.”
She nodded and then wrapped me in a quick and unexpected hug before going back to the desk. I went upstairs to my office and once the door was closed didn’t even try to stop the tears from sliding down my face.
I drove out to Marcus’s house about four thirty with a crock of soup and two dozen of Rebecca’s whole-wheat donuts. Hercules had had another gazebo “meeting” with Everett, and Rebecca had walked him home. “Please tell Marcus we’re thinking about him,” she’d said. “Everett asked me to pass on his sympathies and to tell you that if Marcus or his friends need anything please let him know.”
“Thank you,” I said, wrapping her in a hug and thinking how such a simple gesture made me feel a little better, giving or receiving. “I think they just need some time.”
Rebecca nodded. “It isn’t just that they all lost a friend—which is devastating enough—they’ve also lost another connection to a time in their lives when everything seemed possible.”
“How did you get so smart?” I asked her.
Rebecca laughed. “I’ve been around long enough to pick up a thing or two—plus I drink a glass of warm water with lemon every morning.”
“I’ll keep both of those in mind,” I said.
Micah was sitting on the swing on Marcus’s back deck when I came around the side of his small house. She jumped down and meowed as though she’d been waiting for me, all her attention fixed on the bag of donuts. Owen had been the same way, clearly disgruntled because I wasn’t leaving any of them behind for him. To express his displeasure he’d disappeared from the kitchen—literally—and I’d been extra careful when I got in the truck in case he decided on another stealth ride.
“Donuts are not for cats,” I said firmly. Micah wrinkled her whiskers at me. She was much politer about expressing her unhappiness with me than Owen was. “I did bring you something, though,” I said, patting the pocket of my sweater.
She made a soft sound of happiness and rubbed her face against my leg. The back door opened then.
“Hi,” Marcus said. “I thought I heard someone out here.” He’d changed into a gray sweatshirt and jeans.
“Hi,” I said. “Micah and I were just talking about donuts.”
“Cats aren’t supposed to eat donuts,” he said.
“And you’ve never broken that rule with my cats,” I said. I handed him the canvas bag I was holding. “These are from Rebecca. And Everett offered his help if there’s anything you or John and Travis need.”
“That’s really nice of them,” he said as Micah and I followed him inside. “I don’t think there’s anything that needs to be done. Once the medical examiner releases her . . . body, the family is planning a service. And I think there’s also going to be another one in Chicago for the people she worked with.” He put the donuts on the counter and took the soup crock from me. “John talked to Dani’s brother. He’ll get in touch when their plans are finalized.”
“That’s good,” I said.
Marcus looked around the kitchen. “I feel I should be doing something.”
“Like what?” I asked. I took off my sweater and hung it on the back of one of the kitchen chairs.
“That’s the thing,” he said, swiping a hand over his neck. “I don’t know. Hope is taking the lead on this.”
“So let her,” I said, reaching for his hand and pulling him toward me. “Let the world turn without you for a little while.”
Marcus and I had half the soup for supper and I put the rest in his refrigerator. John and Travis showed up about seven o’clock.
“Hey, Kathleen,” John said. He’d changed into a white shirt with his jeans. He looked tired but his emotions seemed to be under control. I gave him a quick hug and he managed a small smile.
Travis, on the other hand, looked broken. There was dark stubble on his cheeks and his face was drawn as though he’d lost weight in the brief amount of time since I’d last seen him.
“Travis, I’m so sorry,” I said.
His mouth moved but at first no words came out. Then he said, “Kathleen, I owe you an apology. The last time I saw you I . . . I was an asshole.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” I said. His behavior at the restaurant didn’t seem like such a big deal now.
His eyes met mine. They were sad behind his glasses, and there were lines on his face I hadn’t noticed yesterday. “I do,” he said. “I can’t apologize to Dani. Please let me say the words to you.”
I nodded. I couldn’t speak. My throat was tight.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “If I could do it again . . .” He closed his eyes for a moment. “I’d behave . . . differently. Better.”
I managed to find my voice. “Thank you,” I said.
Marcus made coffee and I put half of Rebecca’s donuts out on a plate. The conversation was strained and awkward at first. I filled John in on what Maggie and Brady had found, which was nothing so far.
“Dominic called me back,” John said. “That’s Dani’s brother,” he added as an aside to me. “The service will probably be the end of next week. It will be by invitation only. I told him all three of us wanted to come.” He let out a breath. “He said he’d put us on the list.”
We sat in silence for a moment. Then Travis spoke. “She’d hate it. It’ll be all pomp and circumstance and nothing that she wants.”
Marcus nodded.
John looked down at the table. “She wanted ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca,’ remember?”
“It’s her favorite song,” Travis said. He managed what I was guessing passed for a smile for him at the moment. “That night she got us drunk she said that’s what she wanted played at her funeral and she wanted us to come and dance with our walkers.” He put both hands flat on the table and stared down at them.
They needed to talk about her. They needed to remember and grieve and do it together. I needed to keep the conversation going.