Paul came by with armloads of things his parents had sent over and thing. The knew I would need. He went around the shack with a hammer and nails and tacked down as many loose boards as he could find. Then he took a shovel and began to fill in the dozens and dozens of holes Grandpère had dug, searching for the treasure he imagined Grandmère Catherine had buried. I saw how the women watched him work and whispered to themselves, smiling and glancing my way. If they only knew the truth, I thought, if they only knew. But there were still secrets to be kept locked up in our own hearts; there were still people we loved and had to protect.
Grandpère Jack's funeral was a quick and simple one. Father Rush advised me to have it conducted as soon as possible.
"You don't want to attract Jack Landry's sort to your home, Ruby. You know that kind only looks for an excuse to imbibe and cause a ruckus. Best leave him at peace and pray for him on your own."
"Will you say a mass for him, Father?" I asked.
"That we will. The good Lord has compassion enough to forgive even a man as lowdown as Jack Landry, and it is not for us to judge anyway," he said.
After the burial, Grandmère Catherine's friends returned to the house and only then began to ask some questions about my whereabouts since Grandmère Catherine's passing. I told them I had been with relatives in New Orleans but that I'd missed the bayou. It wasn't untrue, and it was enough to satisfy their curiosity.
Paul went about the grounds and the shack, continuing to do handyman's work, while the women sat and talked into the evening hours. He lingered until they all bid me good night, all still smiling and chattering about him.
"You know what they think," he said when we were finally alone. "That you returned to be with me."
"I know."
"What are you going to do when you start to show?"
"I don't know yet," I said.
"The easiest thing to do is marry me," he said firmly, his blue eyes full of hope.
"Oh Paul, you know why that can never be."
"Why not? The only thing we can't do is have children of our own, but we don't have to now. You've got our baby in your oven," he said.
"Paul, it wouldn't be right to even think of such a thing. And your father . . ."
"My father wouldn't say a word," Paul snapped, and I couldn't remember when I last saw him so dark and angry. "If he did, he'd have to confess to the world what sins he committed. I'll make a good life for you, Ruby. Honest I will. I'm going to be a rich man, and I've got a prime piece of land on which to build my house. Maybe it won't be as fancy as the house you lived in in New Orleans, but . . ."
"Oh, it's not fancy houses or riches that I want, Paul. I told you once before that you should look to find yourself a wife with whom you can build your own family. You deserve your own family."
"You're my family, Ruby. You've always been my family."
I looked away so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes. I didn't want to hurt him.
"Can't you love me without having children with me?" he asked. It sounded more like pleading.
"Paul, it's not only that . . ."
"You do love me, don't you?"
"I love you, Paul, but I haven't thought of you the way you want me to since . . . since we learned the truth about ourselves."
"But you might start again if you think about us in a different way," he said hopefully. "You're back here and . . ."
I shook my head.
"It's more than that then, isn't it?"
I nodded.
"You still love that Beau Andreas, even though he's made you pregnant and left you, don't you? Don't you?" he demanded.
"Yes, Paul, I guess I do."
He stared a moment and then sighed. "Well, it doesn't change things. I'll still be here for you all the time," he said firmly.
"Paul, don't make me feel sorry I came back."
"Of course I won't," he said. "Weil, I'd better get home," he said and walked to the doorway. He paused and looked back at me. "You know what they're going to think anyway, don't you, Ruby?"
"What?"
"That the baby's mine," he said.
"I'll tell the truth when I have to," I said.
"They won't believe you," he insisted. "And as Rhett Butler said in Gone With the Wind, 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.'
He laughed and walked out, leaving me more confused than ever, and more frightened than ever of what the future had in store.
I made myself at home again faster than I had thought possible. Within the week I was upstairs in the loom room, weaving cotton jaune into blankets to sell at the roadside stand. I wove palmetto leaves into palmetto hats and made split-oak baskets. I wasn't as good at cooking gumbo as Grandmère Catherine used to be, but I tried and made a passably good one to sell for lunches. I would work evenings and be out setting up the stand in the morning. Once in a while I thought about doing some painting, but for the time being I didn't have a spare moment. Paul was the first to point that out.
"You're working so hard at making what you need to eat and get by that you have no time to develop your talent, Ruby, and that's a sin," he said.
I didn't answer because I knew what he meant.
"We could have a good life together, Ruby. You would be a woman of means again, able to do the things you want to do. We'll have a nanny for the baby and—"
"Paul, don't," I begged. My lips trembled, and he changed the subject quickly, for if there was one thing Paul would never do it was make me cry, make me sad.
The weeks turned into months, and soon it felt like I had never left. Nights I would sit on the galerie and watch the occasional passing vehicles or look up at the moon and stars until Paul arrived. Sometimes he brought his harmonica and played a tune or two. If something sounded too mournful, lie jumped up and played a lively number, dancing and making me laugh as he puffed out the notes.
Often I took walks along the canal, just the way I used to when I was growing up here. On moonlit nights the swamp's Golden Lady spider webs would glisten, the owls would hoot, and the 'gators would slip gracefully through the silky waters. Occasionally I would come across one sleeping on the shore and go cautiously around him. I knew he sensed my presence but barely opened his eyes.
It wasn't until the beginning of my fifth month that I began to show. No one said anything, but everyone's eyes lingered a long moment on my belly and I knew I had begun to be the topic of afternoon conversations everywhere. Finally I was visited by a delegation of women led by Grandmère Catherine's old friends Mrs. Thirbodeaux and Mrs. Livaudis. Mrs. Livaudis was apparently chosen to be their spokeswoman.
"Now Ruby, we've come here because you haven't got anyone to speak for you anymore," she began.
"I can speak for myself when I have to, Mrs. Livaudis."
"Maybe you can. Being Catherine Landry's granddaughter, I'm sure you can, but it don't hurt to have some of us old biddies squawking alongside you," she continued, and she nodded at the others, who nodded back, all of one determined face.
"Who are we to be speaking to, Mrs. Livaudis?"
"We'll be speaking to the man who's responsible," she said, nodding at me, "that's who. We all think we know who that young man is, too, and he comes from a family of substantial means in these here parts."