By the time the Jesus was presented to Absalom, he had a Buddha belly.
“No Chinese would worship a god who mirrors a bone-thin coolie,” Papa advised.
Absalom was upset. He took up the scraper and carved the fat off of Jesus’s belly himself.
At Sunday church, Carpenter Chan met Lilac, the egg lady. He fell in love with her at first sight. She liked him but was troubled by his limping. Knowing that she was already a converted Christian, he converted himself to please her. It made Papa happy, because he could add one more number to his book. In the meantime, Absalom began another project-to create a school. Carpenter Chan was hired to build an addition behind the church.
Papa was put in charge of the fund-raising. While Absalom was impressed by Papa’s effectiveness and enthusiasm, he was irritated by his methods. Papa told the local businessmen that an investment opportunity had arrived-God would reward them with fortune and prosperity.
Under Absalom’s nose, Papa inflated the numbers for the church attendance. He became bold. He signed up the walk-ins as church members and put out more food to attract beggars from neighboring villages.
“See the rug you walked on when entering this church?” Papa would open his preaching with the same sentence. “That’s the rug my daughter Willow tried to steal before she was saved by God. Yes, the same God who will change your life too.”
Pearl wouldn’t tell me what was bothering her. NaiNai suspected that something was going on inside her family.
“Absalom is in big trouble,” Papa came home and told us. “He is being investigated by the Christian headquarters in America.”
“What did he do?” NaiNai asked.
“He was suspected of cheating.”
“On what?” I asked.
“On his conversion numbers,” Papa sighed.
We went silent. We knew that Papa was guilty.
“Maybe you should stick your head out for him,” NaiNai said.
“The problem is that Absalom doesn’t exactly know what I’ve done. He believes in my work so much that he recommended the investigators talk to me directly.”
“Oh, no!” I was afraid for Papa.
“You are going to let Absalom down.” NaiNai shook her head.
Under the candlelight Papa’s slanting eyes narrowed into slits. He sighed and sighed.
“How could you do this to Absalom?” NaiNai wiped her tear-filled eyes.
“I only meant to help,” Papa responded. “Half of the people I helped convert are for real.”
“Absalom can certainly count on me for a solid member,” NaiNai agreed. “Son, I want you to make it right for Absalom.”
Papa went door-to-door to talk to the converts. “We must be prepared to protect Master Absalom,” he urged, describing the investigation. “Act like a real Christian when questioned. Try your best to memorize the key elements, such as Jesus bore mankind’s guilt down into the depths of the Jordan, and that Jesus inaugurated his public activity by stepping into the place of sinners.”
Papa wouldn’t let people sleep until they could respond with the correct answers. By midnight everyone was exhausted. They kept giving Papa the wrong answers.
“What did Jesus say to the crew of the ship?” Papa drilled again.
“I don’t remember…”
“Take me and throw me into the sea!” Papa shouted out for them.
“What does the word baptism mean to Jesus?” Papa kept pounding.
“His death!” people chanted. “Jesus’s own death!”
The next morning Pearl arrived.
“It didn’t work,” she reported. “Absalom has been fired.”
“It can’t be true,” cried NaiNai.
Pearl burst into tears. “A new minister is on his way as Father’s replacement.”
Papa was shocked.
“How is your mother doing?” NaiNai was concerned.
“Mother is in distress. She told me that Father is going to lose his salary.”
It took Carie a while to make us understand what had happened. Absalom had never paid much attention to his accounts. Papa had led Absalom to believe that he kept an accounting book. The trouble was that Absalom was unable to produce the book. Papa had spent all the church funds without bothering to make a detailed record. He had been taught by Absalom that as long as the money was spent doing God’s work, he had the right. To help increase the conversion numbers, Papa had loaned most of the church money to families whose homes had been destroyed by floods and storms.
“Is your family going to starve without Absalom’s salary?” I asked Pearl.
“I don’t know,” Pearl replied. “Mother has already told the servants that she might not be able to keep them.”
“The town will not let its pastor and his family starve.” NaiNai turned to Pearl. “Tell your mother that you have my invitation to move in and live with us.”
For the next few weeks, the town of Chin-kiang united in defending Absalom. The investigator from the Christian headquarters accused Papa of being a man of corruption with a history of theft. Absalom responded by saying that God had restored Papa’s soul. “Since his conversion, Mr. Yee has been a model Christian for the community.” Absalom acknowledged that his work needed improvement, but he refused to admit that he had been misusing the church funds.
The new pastor arrived on a boat from America. He was a young man with red hair. He had a small head and a white face. If Absalom were a lion, this man would be a goat. He didn’t want to speak to Papa, who tried to negotiate.
“God doesn’t negotiate,” the new pastor told Papa.
At the next Sunday service, Papa presented a petition to the new pastor. It was signed by the entire town of Chin-kiang. It requested Absalom’s reinstatement or all the church members would leave.
The young pastor could hardly believe what he read. When he avoided the subject and started to preach, people got up and left. Children swarmed after the young pastor. “Absalom! Give us back Absalom!” they shouted.
The young man reboarded the same boat he came on and went back to America. He never returned.
Before the month ended, Absalom was reinstated.
A celebration was held at the church. Donations spilled from the paper box. Absalom was also asked to host the wedding between Carpenter Chan and Lilac. Within a year, a set of twins was born. Carpenter Chan and Lilac asked Papa to think up names for the boys. After discussing it with Absalom, Papa named them Double Luck David and Double Luck John.
The town of Chin-kiang was peaceful and quiet until Carpenter Chan got in trouble with a powerful warlord.
Although he was only in his early twenties, the warlord was famous along the Yangtze River. His nickname was Bumpkin Emperor. His territories included most of the canals in Jiangsu province. He had two sworn brothers, whom the locals nicknamed General Lobster and General Crab. Until now, their main enemies had been other warlords.
It happened when Bumpkin Emperor entered the town and took a fancy to Lilac. He claimed that Carpenter Chan had stolen his mistress. The two men had a fight and Bumpkin Emperor swore revenge.
Under Papa’s questions, Lilac confessed the truth. She had had a one-night affair with the warlord and agreed to be his concubine before she met Carpenter Chan.
“Absalom knew my story,” Lilac said to Papa. “He told me that God would forgive and protect us as long as we accepted Jesus as our savior and we did! I thought my troubles were over.”
Papa comforted Lilac and Chan, telling them to place their trust in God.
Bumpkin Emperor returned the next day with his troops. He threatened to burn down the church if he was refused Lilac.
Papa was out of his wits because Absalom was not in town. Absalom was away on a preaching tour. Papa was given three days to turn over the couple.
Panicking, Papa sent a messenger to find Absalom.
Pearl and I visited Carpenter Chan and Lilac, who had hidden themselves in the back of the church. Believing that they would not survive, the couple huddled together and sobbed. Pearl had an idea when she learned that Bumpkin Emperor was extremely superstitious.