Using pregnancy as an excuse, Pearl wrote whenever Lossing wasn’t around. She no longer complained about Lossing’s long trips that took him away for months at a time. She learned to be alone and to keep discontent locked inside herself.
Pearl confessed to me that she feared she was becoming Carie-in exile in her own home. As she made friends with the neighboring peasants, her writings began to fill with their stories.
“It’s a shame that China ’s intellectuals prefer fantasy over realism,”
Pearl wrote to me. “It’s easier to close one’s eyes on disease and death.”
I wrote back and told her that my newspaper, the Chin-kiang Independent, had finally launched. Pearl promised to contribute a monthly column. Using a Chinese man’s name, Wei Liang, she discussed politics, economics, history, literature, and women’s issues. Her articles were well received. Although the distribution was pitiful, we felt proud that we had a voice of our own.
Early in 1920, the light began to go out of Carie’s eyes. She was in and out of consciousness. Pearl rushed back from Nanhsuchou. She sensed that her mother might not live to see her grandchild.
CHAPTER 12
The Chin-kiang Independent would have to close after a year. No matter how hard I pushed, the newspaper was not selling enough copies to make ends meet.
Papa offered to be the sponsor under two conditions. The name must be changed to the Christian Chin-kiang, and the contents would need to promote Christianity.
“If I spend Absalom’s money, I must sing God’s songs,” Papa insisted. “No reporting that would make Jesus lose face.”
I told Papa that I couldn’t accept his offer. In fact, my newspaper was in the middle of investigating a scandal regarding Chinese converts who continued to practice the worst of traditional Chinese customs. I had been interviewing wives whose Christian husbands kept purchasing new concubines.
Papa was upset because he, too, was having affairs with different local ladies, which he kept a secret from Absalom. Papa asked, “Why do you have to pick the teapot that isn’t boiling?”
“My readers are entitled to the truth,” I replied.
“No money from the church then.”
“So be it.”
I took the matter to Pearl, whose care of her mother was doing wonders. She was confident that the newspaper could survive. We discussed strategy and made adjustments to target the young intellectuals.
Pearl took another male-sounding pen name, Er-ping, meaning “An Alternative View.” She began to write about China ’s place in the world. She introduced Western history, the industrial revolution, different models of government, the concept of political democracy, and the world’s important schools of philosophy and art.
Pearl ’s analysis and essays generated great interest. Her eloquent Chinese impressed the readers so much that no one suspected that Er-ping was a Caucasian and a woman. The number of subscribers increased. My advertising space was sold without a struggle.
My own writings improved because Pearl edited my drafts. I practically lived in the printing factory, which was located near the town’s border. From my window, I watched the construction of the future Chin-kiang Christian Hospital, a two-story brick building funded by Absalom’s church.
Although Pearl was eight months pregnant, she didn’t get much rest. Besides helping me with the newspaper, she had to play the role of a peacemaker between her parents. The conflict between Carie and Absalom intensified. Carie could no longer stand Absalom. She forbade Absalom from ever visiting her.
“You go and save your heathens” were her last words to him.
Pearl spent nights at her mother’s bedside, sitting in a rattan chair. I would come and relieve her at dawn for a few hours. On some nights, after the day’s newspaper was out, Pearl and I would take walks, as we had when we were younger. Carie would be sound asleep as we ventured into the moonlight.
We discussed everything from China to America, from my former husband and mother-in-law to her troubled marriage.
“How is your agriculturalist?” I asked.
“Well, he is turning into a disillusionist,” Pearl replied. “Lossing resents the attitudes of Chinese farmers. He feels less sympathy toward their misery because they are closed to his ideas. His efforts didn’t succeed and the farmers quit his experiments.”
“Were you surprised?” I asked.
“No, and I don’t blame the peasants,” she replied frankly. “They have good reason to see Lossing as a foolish man. Chinese peasants know what their land is capable of producing and how to do it. Lossing believes that if his method works in Iowa, it must work in Anhui.”
“What about the government’s offer of compensation?” I asked.
“The peasants no longer want to practice Lossing’s methods even with compensation.”
“So what is Lossing going to do?”
“He has been looking for a way out. Two weeks ago he received an invitation from his former professor, who is now the dean at the College of Agriculture and Forestry at Nanking University. The dean offered a teaching position and Lossing accepted it. To hell with the farmers in Nanhsuchou.”
“So you are moving to Nanking?”
“What choice do I have?”
“What about your mother?” I asked.
“I’ll see her,” she replied. “Thank God for the railway.”
One day I ventured to ask Pearl if she and Lossing still loved each other.
Tears welled up in her eyes. “For heaven’s sake, I am carrying his child. Even if I don’t need him, the child does.”
Carol Buck was born on March 4, 1920. Although it was a smooth birth, a tumor was discovered in Pearl ’s uterus. The doctor insisted that Pearl go to America to have the tumor removed, which she did. It was a long journey that took four months. As a result of the surgery, Pearl could no longer have children. The news crushed her. She wrote, “I am grateful to have the opportunity to lavish my affection abundantly on Carol.”
Pearl and Carol followed Lossing to Nanking. “We simply abandoned Nanhsuchou,” Pearl reported.
To Pearl’s dismay, Nanking was in the middle of a war. Different Chinese warlords and political factions were fighting for dominance of the city and outlying regions.
“I was shaken when bullets whistled across my garden,” she wrote. “I tried to help the civilian casualties. One woman was shot in the stomach and died in my arms. I felt powerless.”
Carie longed to spend time with her granddaughter. Painstakingly, Pearl made arrangements. She took the train and visited as much as possible. To hold the baby in her arms, Carie struggled to push herself out of the bed. Carol was a milk-skinned, chubby, and beautiful child.
Motherhood brought Pearl profound happiness. The birth of Carol also saved her marriage. She no longer complained about Lossing. Instead she talked about her handsome new home in Nanking with all its lovely trees and a bamboo grove at the far end of the garden.
Pearl applied for a part-time job teaching English at the university’s night school. She was pleased that with only their two small salaries she and Lossing were able to afford servants. “Believe it or not, we have three,” she said. “One takes care of the laundry and the garden, one does the cooking, and one helps me with Carol. It’s hard to believe that I now have extra time on my hands. I have been writing every chance I get and I have just completed a new novel!”