“I know. I still have over four months to go.”
“So what’s wrong?”
Annie gave her a weak smile. “I’m…lonely.”
“Lonely?”
Oh, hell. “I miss her.” Annie looked at Suzanne. “She’s only been gone one day and…and I miss her like crazy.”
Suzanne frowned. “Jordan? Well, I guess you got used to having a roommate.”
Annie hid her smile. “Yes. Something like that.” She grabbed Suzanne’s forearms and squeezed. “Listen, promise me you won’t freak out.”
“What are you talking about?”
God, this was probably a mistake but Annie so wanted to tell Suzanne what was going on in her life. She wanted to share that with Suzanne…with someone.
“Just promise me you won’t freak out,” she said as she released Suzanne’s arms.
Suzanne nodded. “Okay, I won’t freak out. But you’re starting to scare me. What’s going on?”
Annie took a deep breath. “Jordan and I…well…this summer…” She scratched the side of her neck nervously. “We’re kinda…involved. Sexually.”
Suzanne literally shrieked, then covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide with shock.
“Oh. My. God. You’re having sex with her?”
Annie nodded. Okay, so maybe telling her wasn’t such a good idea after all.
“Oh…my God. What did she do to you? Did she force you?”
“Of course not.”
Suzanne stared at her. “Oh, my God. I can’t believe it. She’s a…a lesbian.”
Annie nodded. “Yeah. That’s kinda the reason.”
“Oh, my God,” she said once again. She shook her head quickly from side to side. “You have lost your freakin’ mind.”
Annie held a hand up. “You promised you wouldn’t freak out.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t know this was what you were going to tell me.” She shook her head. “How did this happen? I mean, I can’t believe it. I just absolutely cannot believe it.”
“Why can’t you believe it? After everything I’ve told you about Derrick, about me not being interested in anybody, about how…bad it was when I slept with Matt. Why can’t you believe it?”
“Yeah…but a woman?”
Annie went closer, taking her hands and squeezing. “Remember when you came over to the house that day we had the office party? And you caught me staring down at the pier? You thought I was staring at Brandon.” Annie shook her head. “It wasn’t Brandon I was staring at.”
Suzanne’s shoulders sank. “Oh, my God,” she whispered.
“I’m in love with her.”
Suzanne shrieked again. “In love? With a woman?”
“Yes. Crazy in love.”
Suzanne sank down into a chair at the breakfast bar, her head shaking slowly, back and forth. “In love?”
“Crazy in love,” she said again. “I’m…happy, Suzanne. She makes me happy.” Annie sat down next to her. “Remember that day we had lunch, when I asked you if you were happy being married? I told you I had never been. That’s the truth. Living…being with Derrick, never made me happy. He tried…I tried, but I was never happy.” She took Suzanne’s hand once again and squeezed it. “Living with Jordan, being involved with her like I am, makes me so very, very happy. I won’t blame you if you can’t understand how I feel, Suzanne. But please, I just want you to be happy for me.”
“I know. I know. It’s just…I never expected this.”
Annie tilted her head. “Didn’t you? Surely you could see how close we were getting.”
“Yeah. I thought, well, that you needed a friend is all.”
Annie nodded. “I did. And she became a very good friend. But we were closer than that. I think from the moment we met, we were closer than that.”
Suzanne ran a hand through her hair. “If you think Derrick flipped out over you being pregnant, this will send him over the edge.”
Annie shook her head. “Hello? Divorced, remember?”
Suzanne smiled. “Hello? Derrick, crazy man, remember?”
Annie laughed. “I know it will be a shock to him, but I don’t think he’ll go crazy over it. I told you we had a good talk. He knows it’s over with us.”
“A small town like this,” Suzanne said. “When people find out his ex-wife is now suddenly gay…” She paused. “That’s what this is, right? Or is this just a phase or something?”
“It’s not a phase, Suzanne.”
“So you’re…gay now? Or do you call it bi?”
“I don’t call it anything. I call it being in love with Jordan.”
Chapter Forty-One
Jordan stared out the window, surprised at how claustrophobic she felt surrounded by high-rises in every direction. She tugged at the collar of her blouse, then shrugged out of her jacket and casually tossed it over the back of her office chair. She never thought she’d miss wearing shorts and Fat Larry T-shirts to work, but she did.
She again turned her gaze out the window, slowly shaking her head.
What the hell are you doing here?
Four days back, and she had a terrible ache in her heart. She was back in her old routine, she just never realized how empty it had been. There was a void in her life now, without Annie around. How had she lived so long without her? How had she lived so long without love?
“The New York office called,” Peter said as he walked into her office. “Said you did a great job negotiating on the Dunbar contract.”
Jordan turned from the window and shrugged. “Good.”
“Good? That’s it? You know they’ve wanted to move you there for some time now.”
“Not going to happen,” she said as she moved back to her desk.
Peter sat down across from her in one of her plush visitor’s chairs. He folded his hands together, then tapped them on his thigh.
“What’s going on with you, Jordan?”
She raised her eyebrows. “What?”
“It’s like you’re only going through the motions. You’re getting results, but I don’t see the same drive. Being away like you were…did you lose something?”
Jordan met his gaze. “No. I think…I found something.”
“Are you burnt out? I know you put in an obscene amount of hours over the years. That takes its toll. I know. I did the same thing when I was your age.”
She decided to be honest with him. Because, yes, she was just going through the motions with her job. Her mind wasn’t here. Her spirit wasn’t here. Her soul wasn’t here. No, she seemed to have left that all behind in Rockport…with Annie.
“Being away as long as I was let me put things in perspective,” she said. “And it made me realize how much I’d missed out on. Not only with my family, but with a personal life too. My focus was solely on this job, twenty-four hours a day.” She leaned back in her chair. “I didn’t realize how tired I was until I got away. Tired, both mentally and physically.”
“So you’ve had a break,” he said. “A nice long one. Is it going to take you a while to get back into the swing of things? I can shift some things around.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can get back into the swing of things,” she said. “My heart’s not in it anymore, Peter. Like you said, I’m just going through the motions.”
His eyes widened. “What are you saying? Are you thinking of leaving the company? My God, Jordan, do you know how many years you’ve invested in this? How many years we’ve invested in you?”
“I’m well aware of the hours I’ve put in, as are you,” she said. “And leaving something that I’ve worked so hard for…that’s not an easy decision.”
“You’d really walk away from this? For what? To run a souvenir shop?” He laughed. “You can’t be serious.”