Pendragon

I was only half listening to her. 'Of course.'

She stopped, put her hand on my arm. 'Merlin, what is wrong?'

'It is nothing.' I sighed. I tried to smile, but found even that small effort too much. 'I am sorry. The abbey? You were saying-'

'Only that the healing work continues to flourish hereabout,' she replied quickly. 'But we are talking about you now. You are unhappy. I think it was a mistake for you to come here.'

'A sojourn in the Summer Kingdom is never a mistake,' I replied. 'I am simply overtired. God knows, I have reason enough – what with riding on one errand after another all summer.'

She leaned forward and took my hand in hers. 'It may be that you are needed elsewhere,' she continued, brushing aside my objection.

'I am not needed at all!' I shouted, and regretted it at once. 'I am sorry, Mother. Forgive me.'

She pressed my hand more tightly. 'Arthur needs you,' Charis said simply. 'Go back to Celyddon. If all you say is true, that is where the future lies.'

'Unless the southern lords turn from their warring ways, there is no future,' I concluded gloomily. I paused, remembering Uther's fiery temper. 'We need another Pendragon.'

'Go, my Hawk," she said. 'Return when you have found him.'

I slept poorly that night, and woke before dawn, restless. 'Ready the horses, Pelleas,' I told him curtly. 'We will leave as soon as we have broken fast.'

'Are we going to Londinium?'

'No, we have finished here; the south must fend for itself. We are going home.'

SEVEN

It is a long way to Caer Edyn, and a long time in which to contemplate the folly of self-important men. Despair embraced me to its bony breast; misery settled in my soul. The road took us east before turning north, passing close to the old Cantii lands of the coast. This south-eastern region is the Saecsen Shore, so called by the Romans for the linked system of beacons and outposts erected against the fierce seaborne invader. A tribe of Sea Wolves under a war leader named Aelle had taken over several of the abandoned fortresses on the south-east coast between the Wash and the Thamesis.

It was along this same stretch of southern coast that Vortigern settled Hengist and Horsa and their tribes in the vain hope of ending the incessant raiding that was slowly bleeding Britain dry. And it was from this coast that the barbarians spilled out to flood the surrounding land, until Aurelius contained and then defeated and banished them.

Now they were back, taking once more the land Hengist had overrun… the Saecsen Shore – its name would remain, but for a different reason. Unlike their fathers, these invaders meant to stay.

I thought of this and felt the sudden rush of the awen as it passed through me. I stopped and turned my horse to look back at the lands sloping away behind us. I saw the land fading as into a twilight haze, and it came into my mind that despite my best efforts, the night had already claimed the south. Now would begin a dark time; this I saw most clearly: despite ravenous Sea Wolves crowding his borders, Morcant would continue to press his idiotic war; Madoc, Bedegran and others would be forced to increase their warbands, and there would be much senseless bloodshed.

I had cried for a vision and now I had one. Oh, but it was bleak indeed. Great Light, have mercy on your servant!

Turning away from that grim prospect, I proceeded once more along the bramble-choked path, as if along the future's tangled pathways. There was little hope in what I saw, little comfort to hold against the gathering gloom. The darkness must have its season, and the land must endure its travail. That is the way of it!

Putting the south to our backs at last, Pelleas and I pressed on our way through the long, wide valleys which gave way eventually to deep green glens and cold-running streams and wild, wind-mumbled heights. The world was growing colder, I thought, and it was more than idle speculation, for we woke several times to snow in the night, though Samhain had not yet passed.

At length, we arrived at Ector's Rock weary and disheartened, the futility of our long sojourn clinging to us like our own sodden cloaks. Ector, who had been riding the circuit of his lands with Cai and Arthur, found us a little way from Caer Edyn.

Arthur gave a loud whoop and raced to meet me. 'Myrddin! Pelleas! You have returned.' He threw himself from his horse and ran to me. 'I thought you would never come back. I am glad to see you. I missed you both."

Before I could reply, Ectorius rode up, shouting, 'Hail, Emrys! Hail, Pelleas! If you had sent word, we would have met you on the road. Welcome!'

'Hail, Ector! I give you good greeting,' I replied. My gaze fell upon young Arthur, standing at the head of my horse. He fairly danced in place, hopping first on one foot, then the other, as he held the reins of our horses. 'I have missed you, lad,' I told him.

'Things are well in the south?' Ector asked.

'The south is lost,' I answered. 'Folly reigns. All day long the petty kings give themselves to treachery and war. What they do not destroy, the Saecsen stand ready to steal.'

Ectorius, the smile still playing on his face, glanced from one to the other of us, as if struggling to believe. Indeed, the rain had ended, the sun shone brightly, and hopeless words held no force against it. He cocked an eye towards the dazzling sky. 'Well' – Ector shrugged his shoulders lightly – 'you have had a long and difficult journey, to be sure. Perhaps you will find yourselves in a different mind after you have washed the road from your throats. Come, there is ale aplenty for that purpose.'

He turned and called to Cai and Arthur. 'What? Do you still linger here, young sluggards? Get you into your saddles and take the news home. Our friends have found their way back to us; we must celebrate their return. Tell the kitchens to prepare the best we have at hand. Ectorius demands a feast, tell them. Hie! Away!'

Arthur was in the saddle and off before Lord Ectorius had finished speaking. And he was waiting at the gate when we arrived at the fortress, grinning, calling out our names. 'Myrddin! Pelleas! Here I am!'

Just seeing the enthusiasm burning bright in the boy's face made me laugh – and I had not laughed in a very long time. In this way, Arthur, just being Arthur, cheered the Soul of Britain – a deed unsung yet no less worthy than any lauded by the bards.

Yet the trouble I sensed was not in the imagining only. The oppression, the darkness, was real enough, and as cogent as I believed it to be. Did I not intimately know its source?

That day of homecoming, it was only the boy Arthur lifting our hearts with his boundless joy at our return.

'I was wrong to leave him, Pelleas,' I confessed. 'All our roaming accomplished nothing. Instead, I have no doubt made matters worse for my ill-conceived interference.' I paused, watching Arthur run towards us.

'Myrddin! Pelleas! You were gone so long-almost a year! I missed you! Do you want to see me throw a spear?' He had spent the long summer hours perfecting his throwing arm, and was proud of his growing proficiency.

I quickly dismounted. 'I have missed you, too, Arthur,' I said, pulling him to me.

'It is Earth and Sky to see you! Oh, Myrddin, I am so happy you have returned!' He threw his arms around my waist.

'And it is joy itself to see you, Arthur,' I whispered. 'I am sorry to have been gone so long. It could not be helped.'

'You missed Lugnasadh,' Arthur said, pulling away. 'Still, you are just in time for the autumn hunt! I was afraid you would miss it. Lord Ector says Cai and I can ride this year. I want to ride with you, Myrddin, so you can watch me. Some of the northern lords are coming, and Lord Ector says that we can-'