Dear Richard. How chivalrous he was! She knew now that he was fighting against his own emotions. He realized the incongruity of a match between themselves; how would such a delicate creature fit in with his ambitions? But he could not allow her heart to be broken, her spirit quenched by the hateful Major Matthews. He must save her from that so he had conceived the plan for conducting her to her convent and with only her maid for company and as chaperone they had fled from Bath. It was a mad adventure; and before they had reached London Richard had declared his love for her. At that time it had seemed more important than ambition. And herself? She had made a discovery too. It was not life in a convent she wanted but life with Richard.
‘We must marry,’ said Richard, ‘for even if we did not wish to, now that we have eloped together there is no other course open to us.’
She smiled recalling it; that hasty marriage; the solemn words said before the priest, and no sooner was the ceremony over and they returned to the lodgings Richard had found for them than her father arrived in a great state of agitation, threatened to horsewhip Richard and carried his daughter back to Bath.
‘But we are married,’ she had insisted.
‘Doubtless a mock marriage,’ growled her father. ‘I know these scoundrels.’
But this was not a scoundrel. This was Richard, the friend of her childhood. Her father must realize this. He did and was somewhat mollified to recall it. He cared so much for me, she thought tenderly. He wanted my happiness above all things. He would never have forced me into marriage with Major Matthews. If she had not been so young and impetuous she would have known that. But perhaps she had deceived herself then. Perhaps at heart she had wanted to elope with Richard, had wanted to marry him all along. Could it be that she had always seen the prospect of life in a convent as an impossible dream?
Richard would always be surrounded by drama. She caught her breath with horror even now as she remembered hearing the news that Major Matthews had challenged him to a duel, that Richard had accepted the challenge and had been wounded. She had wanted to go to him at once but her father had restrained her and Richard had written to her – impassioned letters with that touch of brilliance which playgoers were finding so much to their taste.
And her father … her dear father had relented. ‘Since you feel as you do, there’d better be a proper ceremony and you can set up house together.’
And so they were married in a manner fitting her father’s position in Bath; and they went to live in the little cottage at East Burnham.
How many times during the years that followed had she thought of that little cottage and the happiness she had had there! Far more so than in this luxurious house in Great Queen Street. There had been no debts then, no knowledge of what the future with a brilliant man could be like. Romantically innocent she had believed that life would be one long round of bliss.
But he had soon begun to talk of London – wistfully at first. It was his Mecca; it was the centre of the literary world. There was no intellectual life at East Burnham. One must be in London.
‘And, Elizabeth my love, there is money. It has to be earned you know.’ London where the streets are paved with gold, the great city which was waiting to acclaim Richard Brinsley Sheridan, the only place where he could give free play to his talents.
And so … goodbye to the cottage where she had been so happy, and to Orchard Street where she learned about debts and witty men who took her husband from his own fireside to clubs where they gambled. To chocolate and coffee houses where men congregated to talk of the events of the day, to read the lampoons which were handed round about the famous and notorious, to laugh at the cartoons. ‘To live,’ said Richard.
It was to her that he read The Rivals. She was the first to sit entranced, her hands clasped together, and to call him a genius.
He accepted her verdict. He knew he had genius.
And the people accepted him. They saw The Rivals and decided they wanted more of Sheridan. Success came quickly, for he was only in his twenties, and the most talked of playwright and soon … manager of Drury Lane.
But oh the debts! The eternal demands for money! Why was it that as he grew more successful his debts increased and the more money he earned the more he needed?
‘The company we keep is too grand for us, Richard,’ she expostulated.
‘Too grand for the Sheridans!’
‘We cannot afford to entertain them, Richard. If they need such entertainment shouldn’t we tell them it is beyond our means.’
He had laughed at her, lifted her and held her above his head.
‘Now you look like an angel … looking down on a poor weak mortal. An avenging angel! My dearest St Cecilia, we cannot reach our rightful place in society unless we mingle with the ton. If we did not mingle with the rich and the noble we should soon be relegated to a back seat.’
‘It is your plays surely that have made you famous – not your acquaintances.’
But he had laughed at her and said she was his angel; she lived in the rarefied atmosphere far, far above him, so far that she could not see what life was like among ordinary mortals.
And the bills continued to come in and her dowry of three thousand pounds which had once seemed so considerable was quickly swallowed up; and she had asked her father to help them out of their pecuniary embarrassments so many times that she could not bring herself to ask again. She was ashamed to ask, for Richard earned far more money than her father ever had and it seemed so wrong to take his money. When she told Richard this he laughed at her. ‘But it is not what one earns that is important, my love. It’s what one spends.’
How true … how sadly true!
And they could have been so comfortable. She had never wanted luxury … luxury that was unpaid for and a reproach to her every time she was aware of it. If she told him that she had been happier in the little cottage in East Burnham he would have laughed that mocking laugh of his. St Cecilia! he called her. His angel who was too good for ordinary mortal men.
If he would be reasonable … if he would give up the worldly life … if he would be content to live simply and write his plays …
But that was to hope for the impossible. Why had they fallen in love? Why had they not seen that they were so different, that each had their eyes fixed on a different ideal? He was gay, handsome, witty and brilliant – a man of the world. And she asked for nothing from life but her music and his love.
She sighed and turned to the harpsichord.
Yet I would not change him, she told herself. As if I could! For if I changed him he would not be Richard Sheridan – and it is Richard Sheridan whom I love.
Sheridan did not go to the theatre. None of the players would be there at this hour. Instead he directed the chairman to the house of Mrs Mary Robinson, where the lady’s maid, Mrs Armistead, received him, for Mary Robinson’s hired footman had not yet appeared for duty.
His eyes followed Mrs Armistead as she took him to a small drawing room where he could wait while she went to tell her mistress of his arrival. Mrs Armistead was so quiet, so discreet, yet one could not help but be aware of her. She was handsome, but in a way which was by no means flamboyant; neatly dressed in her maid’s uniform, yet she did not look like a maid. Sheridan had noticed more than once that she walked with unusual grace; and it suddenly struck him that it was her dignity which drew attention to her.
In a short time Mrs Armistead returned to tell Mr Sheridan that her mistress would be with him very soon.
‘Thank you,’ said Sheridan. He was on the point of detaining the woman, but she seemed to sense this and with unhurried dignity left him.