“I can get the whole keeping your private life to yourself, but surely, you know that it would be much easier to shut up the lies if you and Willow were seen, and the relationship brought to light, I don’t know, denied the latest round of slander?”
“It’s not that easy, Eddie. Not when you’re dealing with people who will do whatever it takes to sell their shit. I do not intend to shield my relationship with Willow, not at all, but I also knew that building something with her was more important to me than trying to start that and have to fight off the media.”
“So? Does that mean now that you two are officially a couple, oozing love every second you’re around each other, and all kissy kissy, that you plan to take it public?” Eddie sighs, clearly exasperated, and waits for Kane’s response.
“I haven’t been keeping her or our relationship from going public. I just haven’t been going out of my way to catch their attention while we were filming. I also didn’t want to thrust that on her until she was ready to deal with that madness.”
“Eddie.” I interrupt Kane before he can continue to speak. “I know you’re trying to be all big and bad here, looking out for me and all, but please just drop it. I know Kane’s intentions are pure, and he’s right. I wouldn’t have handled it. A month ago, I wouldn’t have been ready if I had to deal with so much public influence. He and Mia are friends and have been since they were teens. It’s natural that the press would look at that as more, but Kane’s asked me to trust him and I do. I need you to do the same.”
Eddie has the decency to look slightly embarrassed before giving me a nod. “I’m sorry, Wills. I just worry about you.”
“And I love you for that, but I’m okay. Really and truly okay.”
He studies me, his handsome face letting me know just how anxious he’s been about my relationship with Kane.
“He loves me, Eddie. Loves me so fiercely that I don’t doubt it. I don’t need him to turn that into some media frenzy or public stunt. I know it’s as real as it comes. You don’t need to worry about me. Not anymore. I’m so happy I’m almost floating. Not just with my relationship with Kane or my life, in general, but I’m so happy in my own skin that I feel like the lightest person in the world.”
Kirby makes a choking noise that makes me think she’s about to start crying and reaches out to grab her glass, taking a long sip. I know she gets it, but she’s also witnessed me become the Willow I am today. Eddie hasn’t, so I understand his questions.
“Eddie,” I implore as I lean forward. Kane’s arms drop from where they had been resting on my torso and rest at my hips when I reach out for Eddie’s hands. “I’m ready to move on from my past, and I know you’re worried about me because of everything you had to watch me suffer through, but you have to stop. It’s taken me a while, but I’m free of that pain. I can see that I was trying to search for the feelings I felt lacking, but I didn’t realize I was the one who held the key to them. I’m strong. I stepped out of that comfort zone I was stuck in, and just like you said it would, my life began.”
His throat works, and his eyes mist. He works hard to control it, and I know if Kane weren’t here, Eddie would have probably cried some very ladylike theatrics.
“What time’s your flight tomorrow? Do we have time to fit some lunch in?” he asks, letting me know he’s about two seconds away from a very unmanly emotional breakdown with what I just told him. God, I love him. He and Kirby are the only family I ever needed; I know that now, and he just proved why a million times over.
“If we didn’t have to go to Logan tomorrow, we probably could,” Kane answers for me, and Eddie’s eyes jump from mine to Kane, over to Kirby, and then narrow back at me.
“Tell me you aren’t going there willingly. And without a bomb or something,” Eddie demands, his voice full of anger.
I feel Kane tense against my body, and I hate that I’m making him feel this way.
“I’ve already tried to talk her out of it, Eddie, but she isn’t having it,” Kirby snaps.
“And you?” Eddie asks Kane.
“And I understand why she needs to go. Do I like it? No, I fucking hate it. But it’s important to her, so I will give her support. Even if she didn’t want it, I would have given her that. I might not agree with her thinking she needs this, but I’m trying. If this is something Willow wants to do, then I’m there for her every step of the way.”
“You’re going, too?” Eddie gasps.
“Why does that shock you?” Kirby asks. “I told you, inseparable.”
“Yeah, but going into Logan with him on her arm is going to make Ivy even more malicious than normal. You know that’s going to set her off.” Eddie looks over my head and addresses Kane. “I know you saw some of it, but let me clue you in on sister dear. She will not like it that Willow’s moved on. Not only that, she’s going to have a fit when she realizes that she didn’t just move on, but also traded up. No offense, Willow. Throwing you in her face is going to make her unpredictable.”
Kane’s body jolts with small bouts of hilarity. “You know, I’m pretty sure anything Willow does is going to make Ivy go nuts. I know her type all too well. It wouldn’t matter if Willow went in the same person she was six weeks ago. Ivy would still find something she wanted to strip from her, even when she didn’t have anything left. I won’t allow the possibility of someone, anyone, trying to take away one single shred of Willow’s growth.”
Kane’s arms move and he pulls me tighter against his body. I reach down and give one of the legs framing my body between his spread thighs a squeeze. His head turns, and he places a small kiss against my temple.
“I love you,” he whispers in my ear.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Eddie waves his arm around, clearly at a loss since he knows he can’t talk me out of it. I can tell he isn’t going to try to persuade me out of going; he’s asking out of concern that I’m not ready to face them.
“Yes. I have to do this, Eddie. I have to face them as the strong person I am now in order to let go of the pain. The ghosts of their past words can no longer haunt me. I need this not just to move on, but also to prove to myself that I can do something that just the thought of would have killed me before now. It’s not as if I’m expecting them to welcome me with arms wide open. I know they’re both going to be jerks, but I need them to see me and hear me when I tell them how I feel.”
Kirby lets out a laugh void of humor. “I think if there is any time for you to let go of that stupid habit you have of not cussing, it would be now while we talk about those two evil assholes.”
“Whatever.” I chuckle. She’s always made a joke out of trying to get me to turn into some foul-mouthed sailor. I’ll never understand why she and Eddie get so much enjoyment out of this little game. I think I’ve gotten so good at not letting any curses pop out because I know it drives them nuts.
“I understand, sweets. I don’t like it, but I understand. Plus, you have this strapping hunk to kick some serious ass if they step out of line.” He gives Kane a few wags of his brow, his earlier concern and seriousness gone.
I snuggle in closer to Kane, but look at Kirby when I hear her struggling not to laugh. Following her gaze, I look behind my shoulder and see that Kane’s cheeks are flush with embarrassment over Eddie’s flirting. I look back over at Kirby, and we both burst out laughing.
The conversation moves on now that the heavy topics are over. We talk about our upcoming move and about what we plan to do in California.
By the time Kirby and Eddie go to leave, I’m about to fall asleep on my feet. Kane and I walk them to the door.